Category: In the News

Groundhog Day turns violent, meaning uncertain

Well, we just had Groundhog Day.  It’s too bad the holiday isn’t anything like the movie.  That would be great if we got to live the same day in a row a few times.  🙂  Anyway, supposedly the groundhog saw his shadow, so we have more winter.  Whatever…

The news on this day should be what it means that a groundhog bit New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg during their ceremony.  Yes, their little festival had violence.  I’ve wondered why groundhogs participate in this stupid tradition, when they should be hibernating.  Well, “Staten Island Chuck” decided to take matters into his own hand… er, mouth.

But now the bigger question remains unanswered — what does this physical violence mean for the rest of the winter?  Does it signal the worst winter ever?  Does it foreshadow our ultimate doom?  What exactly is going to happen now?  I guess time will tell (unless there happens to be a groundhog prediction expert in the crowd)…

farting lowers your blood pressure

There’s a new article in science research that you won’t believe.  According to LiveScience, the stink in farts helps control blood pressure.  I know, you think I’m making this up, that it’s some crazy hypothesis that I pulled out of my butt.  But this is actual science.  Here’s the link, so you can verify for yourself: The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure.

The stink they’re referring to is the “smelly rotten-egg” smell, which is hydrogen sulfide (H2S).  They’ve found that cells lining mice’s blood vessels make the gas and the purpose is to keep their blood pressure low by relaxing the blood vessels to prevent hypertension (high blood pressure).  Then the researchers said the gas is “no doubt” in human blood vessels, too.

So the conclusion here is obvious — passing gas lowers your blood pressure.  It also seems obvious that the inverse would be true — refraining from farting could increase your blood pressure.  So you could say farting is good for you.

On a side note, I found this link on the K-Love website, and it said “Warning: Mature Content”.  That’s not true at all!  There’s nothing vulgar or obscene in that news article, and it didn’t even make any crude jokes involving potty humor.  Why is this “mature content”?  Is farting vulgar?  I’ll answer that for you: NO!   Let me make something clear: EVERYONE PASSES GAS!  It shouldn’t be a societal taboo.  Why do some people think it’s rude?   Of course, there are some situations where you should temporarily hold it or go outside, but most of the time those exceptions don’t apply.

So my conclusion from all this is that you should let ‘er rip, because it’s good for your health.  If people get all discombobulated about it, explain that it lowers your blood pressure, and if they don’t believe you (which is likely), refer them to this article so they may be enlightened.

how I’d party in Obama’s situation

I was just reading about the crazy-huge inauguration party that Obama is having.  The budget for it is $49 million, but the estimated actual cost is around $150 million.  I could think of much better ways to allocate taxpayer funds, but I already ranted about that on my other blog.

Here, let’s take a more humorous view of it.  The $49M will cover the standard amount of food, security, and other necessary items for a Presidential party.   (That still seems very excessive, but whatever.)  So Obama is spending an additional $100M for his party.

Let’s see… if I was hosting a party and had an extra $100M to spend, what would I do?   That’s so much money that it boggles the mind.  I don’t even know where to start.

I’d have the world’s largest nachos buffet, for starters.   (Although that could be covered by saving money on the standard food package — you know they’re overpaying for that stuff.)   Actually, with all that money, I’d have available ALL the types of food I want.  There would be lots of games with fabulous consolation prizes.  I’d have huge virtual reality gaming booths, with the latest technology.

I need to start thinking bigger or I’ll never spend that kind of money.  Let’s see… I’d buy my own private island.  Yeah, that’s it.  And I’d have a castle built on my own island.  I’d buy my own private plane (along with carbon credits so folks couldn’t complain).  And I’d fly all my friends to said island for a massive after-party party that lasted for weeks.  They’d all get vacation pay so it won’t hurt to miss work.

I’d probably still have some money left over after that, surprisingly.  So I’d build a weather-controlling satellite and take over the world.   Wait, maybe I should hold off on that one for a while.

I’d create my own TV station, and it would play only programs approved by me.   So of course it would be awesome, and I’d make millions more dollars.  🙂

This could go on for a while, I think.  So I’ll stop for now.

Why is the economy still a debacle?

As you know, the U.S. economy has been in bad shape for a while now, and the government just issued a $700 billion bailout to fix the mess.  But I’m hearing in the news that things are still bad on the economic front.  I don’t understand…

I realize these corporations are huge and complicated, but how long should it take to feel the effects of billions of dollars?  I can envision it helping really quick.  (Just imagine if you were given a billion dollars, how long it would take to fix your economic problems.)

The government gave these billions of dollars to the financial experts, the people who have been in the industry for years, the people who run the critical companies — the mortgage lenders, the big banks, the insurers, the credit card issuers, etc.  These are the people who have the authority in their companies to make the difficult decisions, to make a difference.  These people are paid big bucks to know what they’re doing.  These people are… um… the people who… uhh… got us into this mess in the first place…  OH, NO!  WHAT HAVE WE DONE???