Category: In the News

NASA found extraterrestrial life – what now?

NASA announced last week that extraterrestrial life has been found… in California.  If you’re expecting a big, scary alien, you’re going to be massively disappointed.  It’s just some microscopic bacteria living in mud by a lake.  Although, as one scientist on TV pointed out, they look like potatoes if you zoom in enough.

Although, if evolution were true, then that bacteria could develop a brain and a body, and it might eventually enslave us all.   So maybe we should wipe it out now, while we are more evolved than it.  We might not have millions of years — some things mutate faster than others.  I’ve seen “documentaries” that show how crazy such things can get.  And you know the scientists that have this bacteria will expose it to all kinds of chemicals in their testing, and what if that’s all part of the plan?  What if a certain element on Earth gives it superpowers like Superman?  Someone has to consider these things…

Actually, we might need to fear more than just the aliens themselves.  What if some power-starved human or wild animal decides to join forces?  They might eat or absorb this alien life force and mutate into some super-human being!  What if they get super powers because of it?  The time to act is now!  And so we need a government grant to research and contain this.   I figure a few billion dollars would be sufficient — you can’t be too careful!

I know, some of you may wonder if the Buffet o’ Blog staff is qualified for such a task.  The answer is MOST DEFINITELY!  We would have the best weaponry possible, and we would contain (and potentially destroy) this alien life form.  We would also develop numerous “worst case” scenarios, along with the best plan of offense and defense.  And to test such systems before they are needed, we would run thousands of advanced computer simulations of us defending off alien invasions.  We are obviously the right people for this job.  So if the government will just send the necessary funds our way, we can get started on this most important task.

Somebody has to save the world…

the junk food diet that works!

Have you heard of the Twinkie diet?  It’s also known as a convenience store diet.   A professor of human nutrition decided to prove that the main cause of weight loss was counting calories, not the nutritional value of the food.  So for two months, he ate a small meal of junk food every three hours.   His meals consisted of Twinkies, Hostess and Little Debbie snacks, Doritos, sugary cereals, and Oreos.  That was two-thirds of his diet — the rest included a daily protein shake, some vegetables, and a multivitamin pill.  His project was a success, in that he lost 27 pounds in two months.

Would deep-fried Oreos fit in this "diet"?

Sounds great, right?  When I heard this, I was thinking, “Where do you sign up for this kind of research?!?”  What made his “diet” effective was that he limited himself to less than 1,800 calories a day.  A man of his size would normally consume 2,600 calories per day.  The key to his “diet” (and any diet) was to consume fewer calories than he burned.   It makes sense.  (That’s my approach, although it looks like I haven’t been eating enough junk food!)

You might assume this his junk food diet would make his health worse, but it actually didn’t.  His “bad” cholesterol (LDL) dropped 20 percent and his “good” cholesterol (HDL) increased by 20 percent.  His level of triglycerides (a measure of body fat) went down by 39 percent.  That’s inconceivable.

So according to his research experiment and the documented results, you can eat Twinkies and Oreos and Doritos every day and become healthier! The numbers don’t lie.

At this link there’s a list of what his typical daily diet would include: Twinkie diet helps professor lose 27 pounds.

I almost hesitate to admit this next part because it might mean that the self-proclaimed “Important Doctor” might actually know something about nutrition and be right, but perhaps there is some validity to the bacon and cheese diet, if used in moderation.  I decided to put that in here because it sounds like some research is in order…  🙂   We also need to add Cheetos and Oreos and ice cream to it.   Then include copious amounts of Southern-style sweet tea, and it would be the most awesome diet ever.

Why do women wear high heels?

Have you ever wondered why women wear uncomfortable high heels?  From what I’ve heard, those shoes are very uncomfortable and are bad for posture and bad for long-term physical health.  So why do women wear them?  Is it to be taller?  Is it to look better?  I figure it’s some combination of those things.  But that leads to another question — is it worth the trouble?

A study at Northumbria University has determined that men cannot tell if a woman is wearing high heels when they walk.  In the experiment, men couldn’t tell when women were wearing high heels, unless they happened to see the shoes directly.  And from personal research, I’ll say that men tend to not notice what kind of shoes a woman is wearing.

In related news, men don’t notice what kind of handbag / purse a woman is carrying.  I don’t know if there’s a study for that, but I suspect it’s true.  I don’t know any men who care or even notice whether their girlfriend’s / wife’s purse matches her outfit.  So why is it such a big deal?

Also related, have you ever noticed women who are dressed nice and have their hair fixed impeccably yet are dating a guy who looks like he just crawled out of bed?  The woman appears to be really concerned about physical appearance in herself but not concerned about it with the man she’s with.  Does that make sense?

If you have answers for any of these confusing issues, feel free to explain in a comment.

world’s biggest private residence

Here at Buffet o’ Blog, we know about being over-the-top — albeit mostly in imagination.  We can come up with some crazy-huge ideas.  Unfortunately, we usually don’t have the funding to follow through with all those awesome ideas.  But there are a few extremely rich people who will spare no expense when it comes to implementing their dreams.  (We need to find a few wealthy investors to fund some of our ideas.  So if you’ve got more money than you need, have your people contact our people…)

In the news today, India’s richest man (estimated at $27 billion) has moved into the world’s biggest private residence.   It’s a 27-story-building in Mumbai. It has three helipads and its own air-traffic control station on the roof.  The 570-foot-tall glass tower has a swimming pool, health club, salon, and a mini-theater.  The first six floors are a parking garage for more than 160 cars.  And it has 9 elevators.

The link above has a picture, and it doesn’t look like a private residence to me.  The “house” was initially to be built for $70 million, but a newspaper says it was closer to $1 billion.  I’m thinking if I was going to spend that much for my own custom house, it would look a lot different.   But to each their own.

But wait, there’s more.   The residence requires about 600 staffers to run it.  That’s what I really don’t get.  How much work is there to do for 600 staffers?   That’s a LOT of people!  At first thought, I’m not sure what that many people would do.  But I reckon if we all combine our imagination, we can come up with something.   So here’s your homework — if you had a huge mansion and 600 staffers, what would you have them do?  Remember, money is no object.  Post your ideas in a comment, so we can figure this out.