Tag: Valentine’s Day

caption contest, Valentine’s Day edition

Since today is Valentine’s Day, this week’s caption contest will feature a picture of the romantic couple variety.  But there is still plenty of room for humor in the photo (besides all the potential humor, satire, and irony of a relationship).   There is no context provided with this picture, although a few things just to mind.  So you get to figure out what’s going on here.  Here’s a few ideas to get you started: Why is he wearing a pink hat?  Why are they together?  What are they thinking?  What are their friends thinking?  What are you thinking?  You can create whatever backstory you want to set up your point or joke.  The only rules are — make it funny and keep it clean.

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

Missing your ex? Call Death Bear

Sometimes romantic relationships fail.  It’s part of life.  (Actually, if it’s not the right person for you, it’s good that it fails, even if it doesn’t feel like it for a while.)

When we’re getting over a failed relationship, we may see reminders of them that make us sad.  Now there’s a service to help you with that.  Just call “Death Bear“, and he will come remove the articles of affection that keep reminding you that your ex is gone.  He’s 7 feet tall and solid black.  He will show up at your house or apartment for your convenience, and it’s completely free.  (At this time he only covers the Brooklyn area, though.)

Death Bear looks somewhat like Darth Vader… or perhaps his teddy bear.  (Follow the link for pictures.)

I think it’s an awesome idea…  It’s funny, it’s random, and it can actually help people.

Love stinks!

If you’ve been married for many years, you might start running out of ideas for something special to do for your wife on Valentine’s Day.  Well, some people are really good at thinking outside the box.  A farmer in Minnesota who has been married for 37 years made a heart out of manure for his wife.  But it’s not just any heart — it’s a half-mile wide!

According to the news release about it, nothing says “I love you” like a half-mile wide heart made out of manure.

On public record, his wife said it was cute.  We don’t know what was said behind closed doors when reporters weren’t around.

I’m not sure what my wife would say about a half-mile wide heart made out of manure, but “cute” probably would not be her expression of choice…  Actually, she came in while I was posting this, and her official response was “I don’t want one”.

the special days of February, pt 2

We now continue our look at the special days / holidays / observances in February.

  • 9 Toothache Day — I will pass on this one!
  • 11 Don’t Cry over Spilled Milk Day — You shouldn’t ever cry over spilled milk, so I don’t know why there’s an individual day for it.
  • 13 Get a Different Name Day — This is the time for you to go by your favorite nickname or alias.
  • 14 Valentine’s Day — This is the day when florists raise the price of roses by a few hundred percent, and when your wife / girlfriend expects red roses and chocolates and a card.
  • 15 Singles Awareness Day — I imagine singles are plenty aware of their singleness after Valentine’s Day, so this holiday is totally unnecessary.
  • 17 Random Acts of Kindness Day — The key here is that the acts of kindness are random.  There are a ton of possibilities here.  For example, you could give someone a pet turtle; just leave it on their desk at work.  Pets make people happier, I’ve heard.
  • 18 President’s Day — Some of the famous presidents already have their own holidays, so this is for the presidents that you don’t remember.  I don’t know what you should do to celebrate, unless it means getting off work.  Unfortunately, most companies don’t observe this one.
  • 19 National Chocolate Mint Day — Your actions this day should be obvious : eat foods with chocolate mint.
  • 20 Hoodie Hoo Day — According to my research, you are supposed to go outside at noon to shout “Hoodie-hoo!” to scare away Winter and make way for Spring.  Um, is this for real?  Apparently there are people who actually meet to do this.  To each their own…
  • 22 Be Humble Day — I try to be humble, but it’s difficult when you’re this cool…  🙂
  • 22 International World Thinking Day — This is a holiday celebrated by the Girl Scouts and other girl groups.  On this day, they should set aside some time to think about things.  🙂
  • 23 International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day — Your dog probably already appreciates them plenty, but what about you?  This day, you should eat a dog biscuit or two so you can fully appreciate them.  I know, this is unconventional, but trust me — it’s a good time.  It’s best to do this with some friends over.  I guarantee there will be some laughs.
  • 23 Tennis Day — Tennis is an excellent sport and is a great source of exercise, but this should be in the spring, I think.  The weather in February might not be too cooperative for outdoor sports.
  • 24 National Tortilla Chip Day — Eat tortilla chips.  Note that cheese dip goes extremely well with tortilla chips.
  • 27 No Brainer Day — By definition, a “no brainer” is something that’s simple, easy, obvious, and/or logical.  So on this day, you should only do simple stuff, like eating and sleeping and watching TV.  For those things that require thinking, you shouldn’t do it today.  So obviously you shouldn’t be working this day.
  • 28 Public Sleeping Day — Work is in public, right?  🙂
  • 29 Leap Day — As you know, this day occurs once every four years.  I happen to know someone who was born on Leap Day, so she has a birthday only every 4 years.  That’s kinda neat.  I think businesses ought to give their employees the day off on Leap Day, since it’s a bonus day.  It should be like an extra Saturday during the weekend.  Someone should make this happen.  If we have to work on the extra day of the year, we should be paid extra.  It makes sense to me…

Well, that’s all, folks.  Tune in next month for the next one.  Wait, actually, you should tune in every day, because there’s all kinds of funny, exclusive content here on this blog.  That way, you won’t miss anything.  So just bookmark the homepage (click on the name in the logo at the top of the page to get to the homepage), and tell your friends.  See you next time!