Tag: grilling

tempted with jealousy

Somebody did me wrong today.  They didn’t mean to, so I won’t hold it against them, but it just wasn’t right.  My story begins like many others: I was minding my own business, mowing my yard.  I was trying to get my lawn mowed before the rain came.  My wife was inside cooking supper.  Since we’re trying to lose weight, we’ve been eating healthy meals more than we used to.  She was baking some Cajun-seasoned fish and frying some fresh vegetables (squash, okra, and tomatoes) with Creole seasoning and olive oil.  It’s not a bad meal, even for a meat-and-taters guy like myself.  But while I was mowing, one of my neighbors decided to grill burgers, and the wonderful aroma wafted into my yard.

It really doesn’t matter that I was about to eat fish and vegetables — just about any meal is trumped by home-grilled burgers.  So I found that to be quite rude of them.  I’m outside dripping with sweat from mowing in the crazy heat-and-humidity mixture here in Arkansas, and they’re making me jealous with their grilling.

So if you find yourself in the situation of the person grilling while your neighbor is mowing his yard, it would be incredibly awesome if you were to offer him a burger or hot dog off the grill.  That would make their day, and it would certainly make the rest of the mowing not so laborious.  I’m just sayin’…  🙂

How can someone be a vegetarian?

I’ve heard there are some people who are vegetarians, meaning they don’t eat meat.  How can this be?  I’ve heard some propaganda that tried to convince me to become one, but it was stupid.  Can you imagine giving up steak for carrots?  Bacon for broccoli?  Ham for cauliflower?  Sausage for asparagus?  Chicken for celery?  No way!  Just the thought of that would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable.

When did this rigamarole get started?  Mankind has always eaten meat.  We’re supposed to eat meat.  Just the smell of someone putting burgers or steaks on a hot grill seems right.  That smell instantly makes me hungry for that.  And if I’m not the one grilling, it makes me kinda jealous…  You certainly don’t get that same effect if you grill some vegetables.  People would look at you funny, wondering if you know how to cook on a grill.

radishes

Mmm… look at those tasty radishes!  Wouldn’t you rather eat that than shrimp?  Ugh!  Maybe you’d rather give up lobster for artichoke.  Whatever…  I mean, look at the name of artichoke — does that sound like a food?  It sounds like something that might kill you!

Anyway, I could go on talking about how silly it is to be a vegetarian.  But I’ll tell you a real-life testimony of how crazy it is.  I had a friend who fell victim to that propaganda, and he tried it for a few weeks, then decided he didn’t need to wear deodorant anymore.  I became concerned for him, because obviously he was losing his mind.  He eventually came to his senses, fortunately.  We have to watch who we’re listening to.  There are even some celebrities who believe this nonsense.  For example, Pamela Anderson has been quoted as saying, “The best thing any of us can do to fight pollution is to adopt a vegetarian diet.”  What in the world?!?  Obviously she’s lost her mind, because that makes no sense whatsoever.