Tag: food

the Rubix Cubewich

The Rubix Cube has baffled people for decades.  But someone has invented a new version of it, made with food.  Do you think you could solve this one?

Rubix Cubewich

This “Rubix Cubewich” is made from cubes of pastrami, kielbasa, pork fat, salami and two types of cheddar.  While the original puzzle will give you a headache, this one will just give you gas.  🙂

This post is part of our series on being a food critic.  So if you have any suggestions for how this food item could or should be better, let us know in a comment.

becoming a food critic

I think one of the best jobs ever would be a food critic.  You go to restaurants, your company pays for it, and you try all kinds of interesting food, then review it.  Unfortunately, most of us will never get that job, so I’m starting a series where we get to be a virtual food critic.  I know, it’s not nearly the same, because you don’t get to eat the food.  But it can still be fun.  Plus, if we discover a new dish that sounds awesome, maybe we’ll try it at one of our next “Adventures in Eating” nights (also called “Buffet o’ Bacon”, though not necessarily limited to bacon).  And maybe we’ll invite all the regular readers here to these events (as we have been discussing).

Here’s how this new series will work: I’ll post a picture of some dish, and then we discuss it.  If that doesn’t sound interesting, give it a chance.   I’ve been involved in numerous food-related discussions with the Buffet o’ Blog staff that were a lot of fun, and we’ve come up with many good ideas.

One limitation with these pictures is that there may not be a recipe included, so sometimes we will have to guess at the actual ingredients.   But if we aren’t sure what it is, we can always make substitutions (like switching bacon for an unknown meat or replacing non-potato vegetables with cheese).

In your analysis of the featured food dish, you can rate it from 1 to 10 (or any comparable scale), you can specify which ingredients / sides should be removed as well as which ones should be added, and you can explain why a particular dish would be awesome or horrendous.  And remember this is a humor site, so don’t get burdened down in seriousness.  This is supposed to be fun.   So don’t be afraid to get extreme or go way over the top in suggested improvements.

I’ll start this new series with something we’re all familiar with — a cheeseburger.  But to me, something about this burger just isn’t quite right.  What do you think about it, and what should be changed on it?

burger stacked with various items

(The future entries will all be filed under the category of “food critic“.)

tasty animals more likely to be eaten

In the news last month, Discovery published an article that concluded that bad-tasting animals were less likely to be eaten than good-tasting animals.  It seems like that should be obvious…

The researchers concluded this by studying chemical compounds and by coating certain animals with bitter-tasting substances to see which were chosen.   That methodology may have its place, but it seems like part of the research should’ve involved grilling lots of animals to see which taste better, then look at what humans have been fond of eating, whether taste is the primary motivation.  This test should also involve copious amounts of gravy.  🙂

steak-and-milk-gravyThis link was sent in by Turtle Dundee, who happens to be an expert in the field of tasty animals and who already knew this information before reading the article.  Perhaps he should publish some of his research on tasty animals…

On a side note, while looking for pictures of steak with gravy, many of the pictures didn’t have enough gravy.   I know some parts of the country do things differently, but if there’s one thing we in the South know about, it’s frying food and making gravy with it.  So let me make this clear: the gravy should cover the entire portion of the meat (and mashed potatoes too!).   If that’s too much for some people, serve it on the side, or have the dish include unlimited gravy.  Just don’t serve a chicken-fried steak with only enough gravy for half of it.  That just ain’t right!

country fried steak with little gravy, green beansAlso, many of the pictures included vegetables like green beans, celery, lettuce, or broccoli.  To each their own, I suppose, but I’m a “meat ‘n taters” type of guy.   Adding “green” to the picture doesn’t make it look more appealing — just add more meat, more taters, and more gravy, and that will impress people.

On another side note, I had a small, healthy lunch today, and all this talk of gravy is making me incredibly hungry!  I know there’s a lot of great foods out there, but you just can’t top a meal of fried chicken, mashed taters, biscuits, and milk gravy.  (And of course Southern-style sweet tea should be served with this meal, but that should go without saying.)

Buffet o’ Bacon 3

Last night I had the Buffet o’ Blog staff over for a regular team outing (where we played video games and discussed funny stuff — how meetings should go!).  As has happened before, this meeting turned into a Buffet o’ Bacon.  It was kinda like an Iron Chef episode, where 3 contestants brought an original dish based around bacon.  (At these impromptu cooking sessions, the theme is always bacon.  Not that I’m complaining!)

First on the menu was bacon-wrapped smokies covered with barbecue sauce and grilled, and served on a stick.

smokies, bacon, & BBQ, on a stick

That one used turkey bacon, which works better for grilling and is a lot healthier.  The taste was really good.  You just have to make sure the bacon is cooked to the point of getting slightly crispy, or it’ll be easier to notice it’s turkey bacon.

The second item we sampled was bacon-wrapped cream-cheese-filled jalapenos.   We removed the seeds so they wouldn’t be too spicy (for some).  These were also delicious, although I’d like to experiment with different types of cheese.  Cooking them on a rack is essential (as I will explain in further detail on the next item).  They were also served on a stick (well, a toothpick).

bacon-wrapped cheese-filled jalapenos

Third on our list was the most ambitious creation, and the one that slightly concerned me.  It consisted of club crackers topped with shredded cheese, then bacon-wrapped and cooked for two hours at 250 degrees.  Here’s a picture of them during preparation.

bacon-wrapped club crackers, with cheese, in preparation

Notice there was no rack used to elevate the food above the inevitable bacon grease.  Supposedly it wasn’t necessary according to the recipe, that the crackers wouldn’t absorb all the grease.  I was concerned because we’ve been down this road before.  /* flashback */ At the initial Buffet o’ Bacon, there were some bacon-wrapped croissants, and the bread absorbed almost all the bacon grease during cooking.  The consistency of the croissants was like butter at room temperature, and it was deemed the “gut-bomb”.  (Read the second comment on our initial Buffet o’ Bacon for an explanation.)  /* end flashback */ So how did it turn out?  Let’s have a look:

bacon-wrapped club crackers, with cheese

What’s missing from this picture is the grease that was drained before I got in there with the camera.  Supposedly there was a pool of grease.  And if it isn’t evident in the picture, the crackers were saturated with grease, along with the cheese, and the bacon was quite greasy also.  Someone looked at the recipe to see where they went wrong, and they noticed the last line of the recipe said to cook it on a rack over a pan.  Obviously that line was never read, and the excuse was used that the picture included with the recipe didn’t have a rack in it.

We each tried a couple of them, and you could tell there was a lot of potential there, if not for the extreme load of grease.  The rest were discarded, for the sake of healthiness.   Hopefully a lesson was learned from this, because it’s really sad to throw away bacon and cheese.  (Should we have a moment of silence?)

If you want to read about our previous bacon research sessions, the link to part one is above, and here’s part two.  There are other food-related experiments and discussions — too many to list — but you can search for them if you want.

For those of you who live nearby and would like to participate in one of these in the future, there has been talk of hosting one on a Saturday afternoon and making a party out of it.  Stay tuned to this blog for further details.