the special days of September, pt 3

Now we’re going to continue our look at the special days and holidays in September.

  • 15 Felt Hat Day — On this day, men traditionally put away their felt hats.  That’s what this holiday actually means.  But I suspect this is an old tradition, because I don’t even know anyone who wears a felt hat.
  • 15 Make a Hat Day — Ironically, this is the same day as Felt Hat Day.  Perhaps this is when you make a new hat to replace the felt one you just put away.  Again, this seem antiquated.  Who makes their own hats?   Who even wears hats?  If I’m wanting to wear a hat, it’s to play baseball, and I’ll just wear my Boston Red Sox cap.
  • 16 Collect Rocks Day — Uhh… is this day for people who don’t have a life?   I mean, collecting can be fun, like with baseball cards or maybe even with coins or stamps, but rocks?!?   At least it would be a cheap hobby, since you can get a lot of rocks for free.  And I reckon you could build a rock garden with them, though I don’t know why you’d want to.
  • 16 National Play Doh Day — Play Doh… that sounds familiar… is that the guy who was a student of Socrates?  🙂  No, not hardly.  I know what Play-Doh is — this soft clay-like substance, where you shape it into various objects, then you throw it at your little brother.
  • 16 Working Parents Day — Working parents should get this day off work, while their kids are at school.
  • 17 Citizenship Day — I’m a citizen, so I reckon I should celebrate today.  🙂
  • 17 Constitution Day — I’m thinking the U.S. Constitution should be re-read by everyone, particularly by politicians and Congress.   We need to know what rights we have, and our government needs to protect and preserve those rights.   But as it currently is, those rights are being eroded away, and few people seem to even realize it.
  • 18 National Cheeseburger Day — This is a great use of a holiday!  Obviously, this holiday means you should eat lots of cheeseburgers.  That’s not a problem for me!
  • 18 Mushroom Picking Day — What?!?  No thanks.
  • 19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day — ARR!  This day becomes more famous (infamous?) every year.   It always made working in a corporate environment a little more fun, because several people would participate.   If only the leaders would let that kind of talk continue during meetings…
  • 19 National Butterscotch Pudding Day — I figure butterscotch pudding is good, but this seems somewhat obscure.   I like the butterscotch flavor, and I like pudding, but I’ve never had them together.  Perhaps I should research it…
  • 20 National Punch Day — Is this a day to drink fruit punch or a day to punch people?   Well, the title is ambiguous, so I reckon you can interpret it however you’d like.  I might just celebrate both!  🙂  While we’re on the topic of fruit punch, I have a quick rant.  Most Mexican restaurants now serve Hi-C instead of a real made-from-fruit punch.   What’s up with that?  If it’s Hi-C, say so in the menu, but don’t call it fruit punch.  That’s misleading.
  • 21 International Peace Day — Peace, my brotha’! We should all get along, all the time, really, but at least on this day.  So set down your weapons, put aside your grudges, and let’s drink some tea together while watching cartoons.
  • 21 Miniature Golf Day — Ah, putt-putt.  That’s one of those activities that people tend to forget about, yet almost everyone who goes has a good time.  It’s not just for kids…
  • 21 National Women’s Friendship Day (third Sunday in September) — Why do women get a day to celebrate friendship?   Do they need it?  Is there a lack of friendship between women?
  • 21 World Gratitude Day — Be thankful for this blog, which is provided to you free of charge.   You get fresh, original humor on a near-daily basis, all at no cost.  (We do, however, accept donations.  We accept cash, checks, PayPal, gift cards, cookies, and compliments.)
  • 22 Elephant Appreciation Day — Do all animals get a day of appreciation?  Apparently not, because I’ve now went through the whole year of unusual holidays, and there weren’t very many listed about animals.  So what makes elephants special?  Is it their size?  Their memory?  The world may never know…
  • 22 Dear Diary Day — Dear Diary, today I wrote on Buffet o’ Blog, and my ramblings were enjoyed by thousands of people (over time, perhaps).  It’s great that I get to share my awesomeness with the world, for free.  If only I could get paid for writing…
  • 22 First Day of Autumn — I suppose that it’s necessary to define the seasons by a set standard for record-keeping and statistics, but to me, I say it’s autumn / fall when the temperature reflects it.  If it still feels like summer, then it’s summer.  When it’s cool enough that I want to be outside during the day, then it’s fall.
  • 23 Dog in Politics Day — I don’t know… So I did some quick research, and found that it has to do with Richard Nixon’s dog Checkers.  Why his dog gets his own holiday, I don’t know…
  • 24 National Cherries Jubilee Day — WOO-HOO!  Let’s have a jubilee about, um, cherries.  I don’t get it…
  • 24 National Bluebird of Happiness Day — Once again, infamous explorer extraordinaire Burford had been mere feet from capturing the elusive Bluebird of Happiness.   The bird was walking toward Burford’s grasp, when a chimpanzee farted, scaring away the bird in a startled frenzy.  Burford usually laughs when chimps pass gas, but this time it was no laughing matter.  Burford walked over to the chimp and pooted in his face.  The chimp promptly slapped Burford’s butt and laughed hysterically.
  • 24 National Punctuation Day — It’s important to use punctuation otherwise your writing is difficult to read most businesses frown upon sloppy grammar skills thinking it reflects a lack of education they may also suspect the ungrammatical person didn’t try very hard in school so you should always use punctuation it’s really important
  • 25 National Comic Book Day — Didn’t we already have this holiday this year?  Either way, comic books should get more attention.  They tend to get a bad reputation in the media and with most adults, but they are a great art form.  Of course, some comics are stupid and/or not worth reading, just like with many TV shows and movies.  But some comics are entertaining and will even make you think.  So don’t just dismiss them without giving them a chance.
  • 27 Crush a Can Day — Why in the world is there a day for this?  I suppose it can be amusing to see someone crush a can on their head and inadvertently hurt themselves.  But a holiday is not needed for that.  Who decides which days get to be holidays?
  • 27 International Rabbit Day (fourth Saturday in September) — Is this a day to celebrate rabbits?  Or is it a day to have rabbit stew?  And do all parts of the world even have rabbits?
  • 28 Ask a Stupid Question Day — Ah, this one is interesting.  Think of a stupid question, then ask someone.  You can ask us here at Buffet o’ Blog, using our Contact Us form.  We may not have the right answer, but we can give you an answer.  🙂  I realize some people have said there is no such thing as a stupid question, but they have never worked in tech support.
  • 28 National Good Neighbor Day — Do we need a special day for this?  Ideally, no, but probably.  So here’s what you do — be friendly to your neighbor, ask them if you can help them with anything, or bake them some cookies.  But at least be friendly.
  • 29 Confucius Day — You’ve probably heard a lot of those “Confucius say” quotes.  He actually said some good things, if you look at his actual quotes, but you can search for them if you’re interested.  I’ll include just a few of the funny (non-quote) ones.  Confucius say man who run behind car get exhausted.  Confucius say man who push piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.  (A word of warning to anyone in that mineshaft — if you don’t C Sharp, you’ll B Flat!)  Confucius say people who make Confucius joke speak bad English.  🙂
  • 30 National Mud Pack Day — What’s a mud pack?  Is that where women cover their face with mud and put slices of cucumbers over their eyes?  That’s silly.  Although, if you’re paying someone to cover you with mud and vegetables, that’s even more silly.  (But think of what kind of profit margin those businesses have!)

Well, that concludes our look at the special days and holidays in September.   I hope you found some that you could celebrate.  Click here to search for the other posts on the special days of September.

the special days of July, pt 3

Now we will once again continue our look at the special days / holidays / observances / celebrations of July.

  • 14 Pandemonium Day — Should we really schedule a day of sheer bedlam and utter chaos?  Don’t we have enough things going wrong naturally?  Or, was this holiday thought up for us to create pandemonium on this day?  Hmm…
  • 15 Cow Appreciation Day — One website said to “Go out and give a cow a hug”.  I’ll have to pass on that one.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate cows.  There’s not much better than a good cheeseburger or steak.  I’m very thankful for those foods.  But I don’t see the need for me to go hug a cow.
  • 17 Peach Ice Cream Day — Peach?  There’s a lot of ice cream flavors I’d prefer to celebrate before peach.
  • 17 Yellow Pig Day — What?  Are there yellow pigs?  I glanced online, and found that this day is also dedicated to the number 17.  Huh?  Is this Sesame Street?  Is this day for mathematicians?  If so, wouldn’t they prefer a better number?
  • 18 National Caviar Day — I know a guy who used to give caviar to his cat.  (This was the free version of caviar.)
  • 19 National Raspberry Cake Day — I don’t think I’ve ever had a raspberry cake, but I’d try it, especially with some ice cream on the side.
  • 19 Stick Your Tongue Out Day — Do this after you’ve had some raspberry cake.  🙂
  • 20 Moon Day — I’m not sure why the moon needs a holiday.  I know, this day is to celebrate when Armstrong and Aldrin landed on the moon in 1969, and that was a big step for mankind or somethin’.  But what value does the moon provide to us?  Besides, the moon is broken.  I’ve written a number of articles about the moon (which you can search for by clicking here).
  • 20 National Ice Cream Day — Can you imagine a world without ice cream?  I sure don’t want to try!  So today, don’t take ice cream (or milkshakes) for granted.  Eat all you want, and be thankful for it.
  • 20 Ugly Truck Day — This truck is the winner…
  • 20 Chess Day — CHECKMATE!  I win, you lose!  Oh, what’s that?  You didn’t even know we were playing?  That’s how fast I am.  Don’t feel too ashamed… it happens to everyone I play.
  • 20 Ice Cream Soda Day — Why is this so close to National Ice Cream Day?  This year (2008), they fall on the same day (because Ice Cream Day is the third Sunday of the month).  This is a great day, and it should not get lost by being so close to a day when you’re already eating lots of ice cream.
  • 21 National Junk Food Day — Lunch this day will consist of Cheetos, with a dessert of Hostess Ding Dongs.  Mmm…
  • 21 Monkey Day — If you’re an aspiring evil genius but can’t yet afford the dues for the minions’ union, you can use trained monkeys for a while.  That’s what I hear, anyway…
  • 22 Hammock Day — This would be a good day to take a nap in a hammock.  That is, during work hours.
  • 23 National Hot Dog Day — It’s already National Hot Dog Month, so why is it also a day?  Are we supposed to eat even more on this day?  That might not be a bad thing, but this holiday seems kinda redundant.
  • 23 Vanilla Ice Cream Day — It’s also National Ice Cream Month.  But this day focuses on vanilla.  If the vanilla flavor is too, um, vanilla for you, try adding crumbled-up Oreos and some Hershey’s chocolate.  I’ve personally researched this combination, and it gets my approval.
  • 23 Ice Cream Cone Day — This should be self-explanatory.
  • 23 Mosquito Day — This day, however, should not exist.  Are we supposed to celebrate mosquitoes?  As far as I’m concerned, they’re evil.
  • 24 Cousins Day — I have to buy enough presents at Christmas, so we don’t need more holidays like this.  Although, if you have cousins, then you’re a cousin.  Just don’t tell them about this holiday, because it’s definitely obscure, and go out and buy yourself something.
  • 25 Culinarians Day — This is a special day for anyone who cooks.  If you don’t like to cook or just don’t want to on this day, you can go out to eat at a restaurant and be thankful for the cooks there.  🙂
  • 26 All or Nothing Day — Some might apply this day to gambling, but I don’t endorse gambling, so let’s apply it to food.  On this day, you either eat all you can eat or you eat nothing.  And since our body needs food anyway, you should visit all-you-can-eat restaurants and enjoy yourself.
  • 26 Aunt and Uncle Day — Why?!?  Nothing against these family relatives, but this doesn’t need to be a holiday.  Was this created by Hallmark?  Is this another attempt at a “greeting card holiday”?  No, thanks!
  • 27 Parent’s Day — This is on the fourth Sunday in July.  Again, this is a useless holiday.  I’m thankful and appreciative of my parents, but they already have days devoted to them: Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.  No mas, por favor.
  • 27 Take Your Pants for a Walk Day — Who comes up with this silliness?  I mean, you already walk with pants on all the time.  To make the day more unique, why don’t they change this day to “take a walk without your pants” day?
  • 27 Bugs Bunny’s Birthday — This isn’t a holiday, per se, but it’s worth mentioning because he’s an legend in the world of cartoons.  Bugs Bunny first debuted in cartoons in 1940.  They just don’t make cartoons like that anymore…  (BTW, also this month was Marvin the Martian’s birthday, on July 24, 1948.)
  • 28 National Milk Chocolate Day — This is a great idea for a holiday!  Eat all the milk chocolate (or chocolate milk) you want.  Remember that diets don’t apply on holidays.
  • 28 Hamburger Day — I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.   🙂  The hamburger, or cheeseburger, is so important to American culture that it should be celebrated each week, I think.
  • 29 National Lasagna Day — Garfield would like this, huh?  I like it, too.
  • 30 National Cheesecake Day — You know what to do — eat cheesecake this day.  That’s the obvious part.  What you might not have thought of yet is that you should arrange to have a cheesecake sent to Buffet o’ Blog headquarters.  (Don’t worry if it’s not the actual date — we’ll appreciate it whenever it is.)  I’ll even post your name on the blog, for all to see your generosity.  🙂
  • 30 Father-in-Law Day — What?!?  Isn’t this already covered by Father’s Day?  Another redundant holiday.
  • 31 Mutt’s Day — Apparently this day is to recognize the dogs that aren’t a pure breed.  Have you ever wondered if you’re a mutt?  I haven’t.  By the way, I mean, not that you’re a dog, but just not a pure breed of a subspecies.  But if you are a mutt, don’t feel bad, because most people are fine with mutts.   I wouldn’t pay hundreds of dollars for some dog just because he came with “papers”.  Free puppies are better than paying lots of money for one.

Well, we finally finished the special days of July.  I hope you found some you could celebrate.   Click here to search for the other entries for July.

the ultimate burger

One of our resident food experts here at Buffet o’ Blog was thinking about ways to improve the standard cheeseburger.  Not that it necessarily needs improving, but if you can make it even better, why not?  So here, in layer form, is his masterpiece:

Bun
Cheese
Breaded Chicken Patty
Sauce (BBQ, ranch, ketchup, Miracle Whip, whatever)
Bacon
Burger
Cheese
More Bacon
Sauce
Ham
Cheese
Bun

Maybe we should add another bun in the middle, just for structural support.  I think cheese is the only thing holding it together.  But if it gets much larger, you’d need to unhinge your jaw like a python just to eat it.  (Maybe that would be a good marketing slogan : “So much burger, you’ll have to unhinge your jaw.”)

What do you think?  Is this the ultimate burger, or can you think of something better?