Tag: animals

coffee made from poop

I saw an article over at Beppo’s Blog about the world’s most expensive coffee, and it’s a story that is most definitely random and stupid (yet true).  This coffee is called (or Civet coffee), and it is made from coffee berries that have been eaten and pooped by a weasel-like animal.  Yeah, you heard that right — the animal eats the coffee berries, digests them, defecates them, and then someone collects the feces, and they make coffee from it.

The coffee berries are washed, and then given “only a light roast so as to not destroy the complex flavors that develop through the process”.  Think about that — the berries were digested and then pooped out by an animal, and they don’t want to destroy the flavors that developed through the process!  This is most definitely not for me!

Guess how much people pay for this crap coffee…  In processed form, between $120 and $600 per pound!  In coffee form, $50 per cup.

If you want to see a picture of how these berries look when they are collected, follow this link.  (Doesn’t it look like something you’d want to brew coffee with?)

One website that is promoting it said this about the flavor :

“It has earthy tones of natural processed Sumatra Mandheling. It has low acidity with a syrupy body. There’s something else there, a nuance in the flavor profile that I can’t describe, and when I’ve challenged others, no one else can either. It’s almost alien, a tiny little flavor note, highly exotic.”

Yeah, that little “nuance” / exotic flavor is POOP!  I just can’t believe people drink coffee made from crap!  Will people buy anything if it’s considered rare and exotic?

What is this world coming to?!?

random facts about hippos

I was flipping through the TV channels recently and came across a show on Animal Planet about hippos (that is, hippopotamuses, or is it hippopotami?).  I ended up watching a few minutes of it, and I learned that they are more advanced than humans in a few areas, which surprised me.  Obviously they’re better at being fat, but that’s not something to be jealous of.  Well, maybe they’re just big-boned… because consider this : hippos can run up to 30 mph on land.  30 mph!  Considering that they weigh anywhere from 3,000 to 7,000 pounds, and that’s quite an achievement.  They even have stubby little legs.  It’s very impressive that they can reach such speeds given those conditions.  And then all of a sudden I realized what an advantage I have in running, yet I’m pretty sure I can’t get anywhere close to 30 mph, even for a very short run.  That ain’t right!  But that’s okay, because I’ve got a number of other inherent advantages over the hippo (the main one being infinitely more intelligent).

hippoAn interesting little bit of trivia about the hippo is that their skin secretes a natural sunscreen substance, to prevent them from getting sunburned.  It’s initially colorless, then turns red-orange within minutes, then turns to brown.  Sometimes I wish I had a natural sunscreen, like when I want to spend a summer day at the pool or playing baseball.

Another interesting bit of trivia is that the hippo can consume 150 pounds of grass each night.  That’s a LOT of grass!  I couldn’t eat even half of that in a day, even if it was steak with bacon and shrimp.  But that’s okay, because I’d rather not be as big as a hippo.  🙂

Also, I found something we sort of have in common with hippopotami :

Most of their defecation occurs in the water, creating allochthonous deposits of organic matter along the river beds.  These deposits have an unclear ecological function.

Most of us humans prefer to use toilets instead of rivers and lakes, creating deposits of “organic matter” in sewage treatment plants.  And like the hippo, these deposits have an unclear ecological function.  🙂

Speaking of defecation…  🙂  I heard this on the TV show and found it amusing :

To mark territory, hippos spin their tails while defecating to distribute their excrement over the greatest possible area.  Hippos also urinate backwards (are retromingent), likely for the same reason.

I had never heard of that before…  Try to picture that…  I glanced around on YouTube to find a video for your viewing pleasure, and actually found one.  It’s neat to hear the surprised screams of people who are dangerously close.  (On a side note, isn’t the Internet awesome???  You can find anything on it!)  Also, I found where a South African family has a hippo living in their house as a pet.  Now picture the hippo spinning his tail while pooping to distribute his poop over the greatest possible area — in their house.  I would find that hard to live with, but maybe that’s just me.  One of my house rules is no pooping outside of the designated toilet areas.

Glancing at Wikipedia (where I confirmed this data), I found something else kinda amusing :

Hippopotamuses appear to communicate verbally, through grunts and bellows, but the purpose of these vocalizations is unknown.

I’m no important scientist, but I suspect they say the same type of stuff other animals do, like even cats and dogs.  A grunt may mean, “That’s my food, get back!” or “Hey, baby…” or “Whew! I just farted underwater and it’s all kind of stank!”  (My interpolations of their grunts are subject to dispute with certain other scientists, but I happen to know a thing or two about hippopotami.)

Now don’t you feel more educated about hippos?  🙂  You learn something every day, they say…

all the animals are missing!

Let’s think outside of the box for a moment…

What if God decided to rapture the animals first?  What if He decided we were too mean to them or that we don’t deserve them anymore?  Picture it — you might be eating a cheeseburger, and then all the meat disappears.  The collective cries of millions around the world would be, “WHERE’S THE BEEF?”  Fast food joints and established restaurants would all be sued, as meatless burgers and missing steaks would cause an outrage.  Some people would starve, being allergic to vegetables.  Pets would be missing, and the police would be overwhelmed with missing pet calls.  The world would go into utter chaos and destruction.  It could be the end of society as we know it.

[Ed. note: Before “Captain Literal” makes an appearance, let me say this is completely hypothetical.  I know the Scriptures, and there is no reference to animals being raptured, especially before mankind.  So save your “know-it-all” remarks for other sites that might care about your super-serious remarks.  The whole point of this is to laugh.  Now, I realize some people are humorless, and it’s their loss.  Laughing can add +8 years to your life, so I’ve heard.  And laughing does a body good (even better than medicine, in my opinion).  If you’re unable to laugh, life must be really hard on you.  I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.  But if that’s you, then you should spend a few minutes here at this blog, and find something that might make you laugh.  Being an adult doesn’t mean you should quit laughing or take everything seriously.  Other people don’t always take you seriously, so why should you?  🙂  BTW, all this advice is free.  Really, you owe us nothing.  But if your life is now changed and you actually enjoy life again, you should become a regular here at this blog.  And if you want to show your gratitude, you’re always welcome to send us cookies or pay for our next trip to Larry’s Pizza.  Thank you, drive thru…]