caption contest, guys standing by exploding fireworks

Here’s our next caption contest, since it’s Monday.   This week’s photo features a couple of guys standing in the midst of firecrackers exploding.  Or so it seems.  The actual story could be anything, because you get to make it up.  So write a funny caption explaining what’s going on.  If nothing comes to mind immediately, let your mind wander for a few minutes while staring at the picture.  And remember, you get to invent the story, so it can be almost anything you want.

guys standing in smoke of firecrackers

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

Burger King NY Pizza Burger

Burger King is about to debut a New York Pizza Burger, which contains: four quarter-pound patties topped with pepperoni and mozzarella and smothered in marinara sauce — all on a sesame seed bun that spans nine-and-a-half inches.   If you think about it, that’s like four Whoppers plus pizza toppings, all in one burger.   (If you plan to eat one by yourself, you should stop reading now.)  It adds up to 2,530 calories, 144 grams of fat (59 grams saturated) and 380 mg of cholesterol.  (For reference, a Whopper is comparatively healthy, delivering 670 calories, 40 grams of fat (11 saturated), and 75 mg of cholesterol.)  You probably know that those first statistics are extremely unhealthy, but to put them in context, nutritional guidelines say most people should consume no more than 2,500 calories, 65 grams of total fat, 20 grams of saturated fat, and 300 mg of cholesterol in an entire day.

One website called it a “fat bomb”.   That could be a valid description.  Another way to look at it is that you’re getting your whole day’s worth of food in one burger.  🙂

the most shocking beer in the world

I don’t care anything about beer, but I saw this in the news and thought it was really, really weird.  There’s a company called BrewDog that sells a beer called “The End of History”, and it’s supposedly the “strongest, most expensive and most shocking beer in the world.”  (How’s that for a marketing slogan?)

It’s definitely shocking — it costs $765 a bottle, it’s 55 percent alcohol, and it’s served in a squirrel.  (Yeah, you read that right.)   It’s not a fake squirrel, either — it’s actual roadkill.   You can also get it in weasel or hare bottles.  They decided to wrap the bottles in dead animals to indicate how special the beer is, that it’s blending brewing, taxidermy, and “art”.

Their marketing ploy has people talking (obviously).  I don’t know how much it will help sales… at $765 a bottle, that’s not an impulse buy nor a “let’s give this as a prank gift” purchase for most people.

As you would expect, using dead animals is controversial to some people.  A director for Advocates for Animals said it is “degrading” for the animals.  The brewing company said all the animals were roadkill collected at a taxidermist, so they were all dead anyway.

What do you think?

no tolerance of pickles

I was at a restaurant the other night, and I ordered a bacon cheeseburger.  I specifically said no pickles (because pickles are evil), yet they included pickles on my burger.   Fortunately, neither the meat nor the bun was contaminated by the stank of the pickles, so I could just discard of the lettuce, tomato, and onions, and the burger could be rescued without having to send it back and wait.

I’m going to create a business card that says if the server includes pickles on my order, my meal will be free.   I’m going to set it on the table as soon as I sit down, so things are clear.  Perhaps the card should read in big letters: “PICKLES ARE EVIL — NO TOLERANCE”.  Then the fine print will explain the other terms.

I’ve also considered throwing all pickles in the floor, to make my point more clearly.   (Such things have been rumored to have happened before.)  At least I’m more tolerant than Stewie Griffin of the show Family Guy, who said, “For every pickle I find, I shall kill you.”  🙂  I’m not too tolerant of evil (and therefore pickles, by association), but I try to be merciful to people, because I’ve discovered not everyone realizes that pickles are evil.   I don’t know how they don’t know, but ignorance and deception can lead to strange, irrational behavior, so I try to educate folks on this whenever possible.

BTW, if you stumbled onto this site from a search engine and were not aware that pickles are evil, follow the link above and read the comments — it’s debated thoroughly there.  Be enlightened… and share the knowledge with others.