What to do about this hot weather?

Everybody likes to talk about the weather, but nobody does anything about it…

And somebody really should, with this current “heat dome” of heat and humidity. But, nothing…

I would, but unfortunately, our R&D department is woefully underfunded. It takes a substantial amount of money to build a weather dominator-inator. You can’t just go to the local store and buy the parts you need since they aren’t invented yet!

Meanwhile, while we wait on the millions in donations we need, we’ve had an idea before that should be considered. For places where the heat is oppressive — say, anywhere with a heat advisory in effect — the government could provide free ice cream sandwiches. It’s really a win-win solution. It would boost morale of the citizens (voters), and the politicians providing this would gain some popularity and be responsible for something good. I know, the issue is how to pay for it. The cost wouldn’t have to be great, if they leverage their buying power to get discounts (which is entirely possible). But they’d have to cut out the red tape on the middleman and not enrich themselves, which is most unlikely. After all, just this year, DOGE and Elon Musk with his chainsaw have cut thousands of jobs, slashed billions from budgets, which could potentially do some good (although the haphazard way it was done was incredibly inefficient and irresponsible), yet the current budget bill will lead to greater debt. So what exactly is going on where they can save billions of dollars yet spend trillions more? The math doesn’t add up. They haven’t told us where all that money is going.

Sorry, got on a political rant there. Our government is inconceivably wasteful, so no free ice cream sandwiches. In fact, your groceries now cost more, despite the campaign promise of Donald Trump to bring grocery prices down on day one. Instead, everything costs more.

Oops, started ranting again. But while I’m on the topic (not really), here’s a random pivot to chew on: I saw an interview with someone who had traveled to various other countries, and he said the main difference in politics in America is that we tend to blame the “other party” while in other countries they hold their elected officials currently in office responsible for what’s wrong. I can see that…

Enough ranting. It’s hot outside, and I sure could go for an ice cream sandwich… So I’ll go get one myself. I don’t depend on politicians to make my day better. (That would be a disaster!) We all have the option to do things to make our day better.

Is there anything you will do today to make your day better?

building the biggest empire in the world

Some historians say the British Empire was once the largest empire of all time, even larger than the Roman Empire. One of my friends said this was because they drank a lot of tea.

I don’t know if this hypothesis can pass mustard*… [Ed. note: What does mustard have to do with tea?!? Nvm, see the explanation below.] But let’s consider the possibility. (After all, sweet tea is awesome, arguably the best drink out there.)

So if tea gave them so much world-conquering power, what happened? Obviously their empire is not so large now. Well, once their influence spread around the world, everyone knew about the wonders of tea and so there was more balance. I suppose that could explain that part. That’s good enough for me. (Further debate is beyond the scope of this article, but feel free to comment if you have more insight.)

Disclaimer: if you are a student in school, your history teacher may not know about this theory. So ask them about it before putting it as an answer on your homework or tests. If they tell you otherwise, go with their answer. As Bart Simpson once had to write many times on the chalkboard, “I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.” 🙂

* This is an eggcorn**. The saying is supposed to be “pass muster”, which originally referred to a military inspection. I misquoted it on purpose to be funny, but if you don’t know the original, it’s probably not funny. (But it is still random, regardless, so there’s that.)

** I just learned the word eggcorn. How have I not heard of this before? I enjoy occasionally misusing words and phrases (for humorous purposes), so I’ve been using them for years without knowing what they were called. Why didn’t I learn about this in school?*** Anyway, an eggcorn is a misunderstanding or mishearing of a word or phrase. Some common examples are “mute point” for “moot point”, “ice tea” instead of “iced tea”, “I could care less” which means you do care, “intensive purposes” for “intents and purposes”, “escape goat” for “scapegoat”, etc. But sometimes phrases are improved by eggcorns, like “chomping at the bit” instead of “champing at the bit”, and “free reign” instead of “free rein”. (Here’s a link for more about eggcorns.)

*** So I looked up the origins of the word eggcorn, and it was invented in 2003 when someone asked a linguist why some people say “egg corn” instead of “acorn”. He suggested calling that type of word/phrase an eggcorn, and the usage has become proper, with eggcorn being added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2010. So that’s why I hadn’t heard of it — it hasn’t been around that long. Also, it’s similar to a mondegreen, which usually applies to misheard song lyrics.

So now you know… and knowing is half the battle.

Do dinosaurs taste like chicken?

Let’s continue the last post about having dinosaurs in my backyard. Supposedly all birds are dinosaurs. Even chickens. So you can say that dinosaurs taste like chicken. 🙂

To consider all birds to be dinosaurs seems crazy to me, but what do I know? So I did an internet search about whether birds are dinosaurs. (Are you ready to go down a rabbit hole filled with dinosaurs? Read on!) Check out this answer to whether birds evolved from dinosaurs or reptiles:

The answer is both, but with a crucial clarification: birds evolved from dinosaurs, which themselves are a subgroup of reptiles. Think of it like this: all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. Similarly, all birds are dinosaurs (specifically theropod dinosaurs), but not all dinosaurs are birds. And both birds and dinosaurs are within the broader group of reptiles.

So dinosaurs were reptiles, which then became birds. Except not all dinosaurs are birds. And birds are reptiles. Got that?

I’ll admit it’s been a few years since I was in school, but that’s not what I learned. Still, I read on, and saw this on the same page:

The closest living relatives of dinosaurs (excluding birds, which are dinosaurs) are crocodilians (crocodiles, alligators, and gharials). They share a more distant common ancestor with dinosaurs than birds do.

So crocodilians are more closely related to dinosaurs than birds, but birds are dinosaurs. I think I’m getting more confused… But I’ll keep reading. Maybe it’ll all make sense soon.

What about the pterodactyls, the flying dinosaurs? Is that where birds draw their lineage?

Pterosaurs, including pterodactyls, were flying reptiles, but they are not directly related to birds.

So there were flying dinosaurs, but they’re not related to birds. Apparently the flying birds came from dinosaurs that didn’t fly. I don’t know if they had useless wings or if they somehow developed wings and learned to fly. Honestly, there’s a lot about the theory of evolution that just doesn’t make sense. I know it’s often taught as fact, but it doesn’t add up and there’s a lot of missing evidence. I suppose you just say “over millions of years” and it’s supposed to be acceptable. Nonetheless, let’s continue this rabbit hole. There’s more weirdness you probably don’t know.

The chicken is currently considered the closest living relative to the Tyrannosaurus Rex. This is based on genetic and anatomical evidence.

That’s interesting! So not only does a T-Rex taste like chicken, it WAS a chicken! Or rather, it became a chicken. So the next time you watch the movie Jurassic Park, imagine a giant chicken chasing them in the Jeep. 🙂 Or, we can let AI imagine it…

Now you know a great conversation piece — you know what dinosaurs taste like! You can ask people what they think dinosaurs (or specifically a T.Rex) might taste like, or tell them you ate a dinosaur the other day (if you eat chicken), or that you saw a dinosaur in your back yard.

I have a dinosaur in my backyard

It’s true! I saw a real-life living dinosaur, and it was starting to build a nest where I didn’t want one, so I confronted it and scared it away! I battled a dinosaur and lived to tell the tale! Afterward, it glared at me in seething anger, but I glared back, and it chose to retreat to the neighbor’s yard, so I let it go. I actually defeated a dinosaur! (Yeah, there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me!)

This isn’t my backyard. It would be neat if it was, but mine is somewhat less dramatic, with much smaller dinosaurs. Mine also has considerably less mountains.

So how can I say this and claim it’s true? Do you think this is some embellished memoir? Well, according to some scientist, it’s true. Check this quote out:

“Today’s birds evolved from dinosaurs, which makes them every bit as much of a dinosaur as T. rex or Triceratops.” ~ Steve Brusatte, paleontologist

I suppose someone could make that argument, but it still sounds silly. Granted, I’m no paleontologist nor an ornithologist, so I didn’t have any voice in debating what to call them. But still, I have a voice, and I’m writing in my corner of the internet on a blog that’s had over a million pageviews, so I have some reach, and I’ll share my opinion anyway. (Always glad to share my ignorance. I’ve got plenty.) Maybe it would be better to just say modern birds descended from dinosaurs. (I still don’t know that that’s true, but it sounds better.) It just sounds wrong to say that I have dinosaurs in my backyard… And it takes away from the mystique of dinosaurs.

But if you want to play along with that thinking, you can tell people you have a dinosaur in your backyard. Or that you’re stronger than a dinosaur. Or that you’ve killed a dinosaur. Or that you’ve eaten a dinosaur. It could be a fun conversation piece. Try it (with people who appreciate humor).