a twist on presidential fitness

I usually don’t discuss politics much here, but this is a topic that will attempt to be funny and contain facts you probably don’t know. It may also include a political rant or two, so if you can’t stand political criticism, click here to go to a random post or here for a post with an idea for creating a holiday for enjoying life.

President Donald Trump is bringing back the “Presidential Fitness Test”, which sounds like a great idea until you realize (or remember) that this is for schoolchildren. I saw an article suggesting one condition for bringing back the fitness test that requires children to run a mile and do sit-ups and pull-ups. It’s an amusing read: Trump brings back dreaded Presidential Fitness Test. Let’s see him run a mile.

They suggest requiring Trump to take the test and make it a pay-per-view event, which will surely raise a lot of money to help pay down the national debt (which is being increased by Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”). This is a great idea. It’ll never happen, though. Donald Trump tells people how strong and fit he is, because he tries his best to always control the story, the narrative. His mantra on this:

Stick with us. Don’t believe the crap you see from these people, the fake news. … What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening. ~ Donald Trump, 7/25/18

Don’t believe what you see or what others say — just follow him. Hear the propaganda, drink the Kool-Aid… (Not that it ALL is, but there are definitely some lies being told repeatedly to manipulate people.) He tries to craft his own version of reality, and sadly, some of the conservative news networks go along with his fabrications and don’t report the truth.

Anyway, Donald Trump is 79 years old now, and he has never been into fitness. He plays golf — A LOT (24% of his days in office, and we’re paying for it) — but that’s not too athletic. He believes that exercise is misguided, that your life is like a battery and you have a finite amount of energy. Science doesn’t agree with that. Also, if he is against exercise and thinks it makes you die earlier, why is he mandating it for children? (We ask, you decide.)

Now let me share some historical facts about presidents you probably didn’t learn in school:

George Washington was an accomplished collar-and-elbow wrestler. (Some wrestling scholars claim that, during the Revolutionary War, a forty-seven-year-old Washington took down seven Massachusetts militiamen in a row.) Nixon, meanwhile, was a football scrub—“cannon fodder,” a teammate called him. … In his rail-splitting young-lawyer days, Lincoln is said to have gone 300–1 in free-for-all wrestling matches against tough guys across the Midwest. In 1992, he was inducted into the National Wrestling Hall of Fame; some credit him with inventing the choke slam.

John F. Kennedy published an article in Sports Illustrated with a public-fitness challenge of marching fifty miles in twenty hours. That would be averaging 2.5 MPH — a decent walking pace — for twenty hours. Figure in rest breaks, bathroom breaks, eating, and you’d have to be walking rather briskly to meet that. I doubt there are many civilians who could do that. Maybe some marathon runners could, but most adults don’t run at all these days, and many don’t walk more than they have to. Plus, I doubt most Americans could focus that long without getting distracted by their smartphone. (If that sounds crazy, try going just 3 hours without touching your phone — while awake, obviously. Let me know if anyone tries this and how it turns out.)

Teddy Roosevelt was one of the toughest presidents ever. His life is an interesting and inspirational story. He chose to live a strenuous life, because it makes you stronger. He was into boxing, tennis, hiking, rowing, polo, horseback riding, jujutsu, fighting in wars (and actually leading soldiers into battle), climbing mountains, exploring the Amazonian rainforest, etc.

There have been a number of really interesting and accomplished presidents of the United States. Where are the outstanding candidates now? How long has it been since we’ve had a great candidate that you were excited to vote for? Some of them over the last few elections will tell you how great they are and make big promises but not live up to the hype. Surely there are some great leaders out there who would make a great president…

Maybe the next great president is reading this now, thinking they could do better than the recent ones. Maybe it’s you! Is it? Would you make a great president? If so, how so? Would you rule with compassion? Would you defuse tense situations with humor? Would you have your own walk-up music or theme song? Would you dance? Would you build a weather dominator? Would you provide ice cream sandwiches to people in 100 degree heat? Would you tell all Americans about cheese dip? (They really ought to know, because it’s awesome.) Would you tell people that this random blog inspired you to become president? 🙂

searching for the best cheeseburger

I heard someone say:

A life spent in the pursuit of the perfect cheeseburger would not be a life wasted. I wonder if the same could be said of milkshakes…

That sounds good, in a way. I’ve pursued the best cheeseburger (and found it on my own grill), and I’ve pursued the best milkshake. One time in high school, my best friend and I had driven to the nearest city, and we decided we’d try milkshakes from all the places we knew about, to see which was the best. Looking back at that now, when I understand more about calories and fat grams, I wouldn’t do it again. At least, not all in one day. I still enjoy milkshakes just as much, but my metabolism is many times slower than it was then, so it’s just not a good strategy to have them often. But in high school, I could do that and not gain any weight. (I sure miss my metabolism!)

But thinking back to that philosophy of chasing the best, it’s not always the ideal mindset. There’s nothing wrong with trying to find a better version of something, and I encourage that to a degree, but I’ve learned that chasing perfection can lead to not enjoying what you have.

You can’t always eat at the best burger joint or the best steakhouse or the best seafood restaurant, and if your mindset ends up being, “This isn’t the best” and that makes you disappointed, that’s unfortunate. Then you have a lot of meals that you aren’t enjoying because they aren’t the best.

I’ve met people who became that way, where they were never satisfied at a restaurant nor with home cooking, because it wasn’t the best it could be. I felt sad for them, because they could be eating really good food that they used to enjoy, yet be disappointed and complaining about it.

I’ve learned to try to enjoy where I am. My meals today probably won’t be the best they can possibly be (although I will try to make them good within reason), but I will still choose to enjoy them.

Your mindset makes a huge difference in how much you enjoy it. Even if the taste is the same, how you think about it — your expectations and your narrative about the experience — play a large role in how you think and feel about it. I’ve seen children talk themselves into not liking chicken strips or spaghetti or mac ‘n cheese, even if it’s the exact same kind they had the week before and really enjoyed. Adults can do that, too. What we tell ourselves matters.

So choose to enjoy today. It won’t be perfect or ideal — it never is — but enjoy it anyway. Where you are right now is your actual life, and you will not pass through this day again. You can choose to make the best of it, or you can complain about it and not enjoy it. It’s your choice. (I recommend trying to enjoy it.)

What are cicadas saying?

The other day I was mowing my yard and heard several cicadas “talking” to each other. I suppose it was talking. It definitely wasn’t singing. It seemed like a lot of noise. And it was LOUD! Just how loud are they when I can hear them over my lawnmower?

I wondered what they were saying to each other. They’re probably calling out for a mate. But what do they have to say? My guess is, “I’M IN THIS TREE!” And then another responds with, “I’M IN THIS TREE!” (Yes, the uppercase yelling is appropriate here, because they are definitely screaming.)

fireworks show gone wrong — two levels of epic fails

July 4th is a day we celebrate America’s independence with grilled food and fireworks. Many people go to community events to watch organized fireworks shows, which is usually a good time. But it’s also fun to shoot your own fireworks. It’s also quite dangerous. It’s easy to take it for granted that no one will get injured, yet kids get to play with little bombs.

A basic safety rule of fireworks is to not have the fireworks-for-later pile near the fireworks-in-use pile. This should be obvious. But obviously it’s not. LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING! (Referencing Fire Marshall Bill here, from the TV show In Living Color. He didn’t make this video, but this is about how it would’ve turned out if he had been there.) Watch this:

That’s an epic fail at a front-yard level — way more epic than anyone should experience. But what if a whole warehouse of fireworks caught fire? It happened just a few days ago in California. This video is a LOT of fireworks going BOOM.