how to justify eating more than normal at Larry’s Pizza

The staff of Buffet o’ Blog are going to Larry’s Pizza tomorrow for lunch, so it’s guaranteed to be a good time.  Yesterday we were discussing how great their pizza is and how easy it is to eat more food than normal.  So our Senior Statistics Correspondent, Turtle Dundee, created a formula using simple math that explains why it’s okay to eat more than normal there.  Here’s the computational sequence (don’t worry, it won’t give you a headache — it’s quite simple, really):

So even though we’re going to Larry’s tomorrow, I figure that’s really only 1.75 meals away.  There’s lunch today, that’s a full meal.  Then dinner tonight, eating a bit less than usual that’s .70 of a meal.  Breakfast tomorrow is just a nibble, that’s .05 of a meal.  Then for lunch tomorrow I’m 1.25 meals short, so that’s 2.25 meals for lunch.  And since nobody wants to eat dinner after Larry’s, that puts me up to 3.25 meals for lunch.

That would actually make a good slogan for them: Larry’s Pizza — It’s 3.25 meals good.

That makes sense to me!  For those of you who skipped over the numbers and don’t want to apply them in your head, I’ll take care of the math for you.  If a normal serving size is 4 pieces (which seems low to me, but we’ll start with that), then 4 times 3.25 equals 13 pieces of pizza.  If your normal serving size is 6 pieces, then applying that equation would result in 19.5 pieces of pizza, which is quite a haul for one meal!

Feel free to join us there for lunch tomorrow.  I guarantee it’ll be a good time.  If you’re wondering how to find us, just use these clues: 1) it’ll be all guys at one table; 2) the pizzas of choice will have lots of dead animals on them; 3) there will be randomness and laughing to overflow.  Oh, and we’ll be the coolest people there.  So you shouldn’t have any difficulty in recognizing us.  (We don’t put our pictures on the blog because this site already exceeds the daily recommended coolness quotient, and that might put us over the top.)

How stupid can one criminal be?

Are stupid people more likely to be criminals?  Or are criminals more likely to be stupid than smart?  I reckon it’s something like that, because it just seems like most criminals are extremely stupid.  For instance, just this month, a man in Texas either didn’t think his plan through or he is too ignorant to realize how stupid it was.  You be the judge.

Charles Ray Fuller must have been planning one big record company.

The 21-year-old North Texas man was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion check, saying he wanted to start a record business, authorities said.  Tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious — perhaps the 10 zeros on a personal check tipped them off, according to investigators.

Charles Ray FullerHe also was unlawfully carrying a gun and had marijuana with him.

Did he really think he could cash a check for that much money?  Did he realize that no one in the world has that much money or anything close to it?  (A few companies do, but this forged check was from his girlfriend’s mother.)  I think it’s safe to say that very few banks in the world have that much money.  I also think it’s safe to say this guy probably can’t even count to 360 billion.

Is it possible that this man has an I.Q. of 0?

a new robotic suit, plus some enhancements

In the news, a man has created the world’s smallest helicopter.  I’d like one of these.  It sure would be an easy way to get around town!

And while I’m dreaming, I’d like to combine it with this exoskeleton robotic suit that the military has developed.  It multiples your strength and endurance by as many as 20 times.  The microprocessors in this suit can respond in almost real-time, so it actually follows your natural movements.

They both have battery life of about 30 minutes, which isn’t enough for the plans I have.  I’d want to add some type of pulse laser or plasma gun to it, but those really drain the power quickly!  I’m thinking they need to employ some type of mini-fusion reactor (in a bulletproof case, of course).  I’d also want a taser feature, with variable power control from “that tickles” to “that ain’t right”.  I’d also want a rapid-fire launcher that can be equipped with various projectiles such as potatoes or grenades.  And this suit should include a tea-maker.  🙂

What kind of add-ons would you want in a robotic suit?

how Transformers CGI should have looked in the movie

If you’re a Transformers fan like me, you might’ve been disappointed by the redesign of the characters in the 2007 movie.  I very much was.  I was willing to accept some redesign, to be more modern, and in a few cases, to be more practical (like with Megatron and Soundwave).  But the movie took it way too far.

To give you a taste of how it could’ve looked, I present this video clip.  It’s the fight scene between Megatron and Optimus Prime, the one with the famous quote of “One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall”.  This starts as the original cartoon and switches into 3D CGI.

CGI rendering of G1 Transformers clip

[Update: 7/8/11]

Apparently Hasbro took the video down off their site, for whatever reasons.  But it’s still on YouTube:

A fan took this video and replace the audio with music from the original G1 cartoon series, which makes it even better:

It’s not the highest of CGI quality (due to budget and time, I’m sure), but it shows that the characters in the live-action movie could’ve been made closer to the originals and still looked good, especially with a high-dollar budget.  So why did Michael Bay and crew decide to totally change the design?  The new look for the Transformers in the movie didn’t have much personality, as they all looked too similar and generic.

Until someone does a live-action Transformers movie RIGHT, I’ll always wonder what might’ve been…