proof that pickles are not for eating

We discussed here before that pickles are evil and shouldn’t be eaten.  Science has confirmed this, by showing that pickles can be used to create TV screens.  That’s a much better use for pickles than consumption (and it doesn’t involve the risk of you becoming a zombie).  That shows that even something as evil as a pickle can be used for good.

However, it’ll be essential that the TV screen doesn’t smell like pickles, or I’ll have nothing to do with it.

Also, other organic materials can be used to create OLED screens, so I still think it would be a good idea to shoot all pickles into the sun.

caption contest, girl looking suspicious by house fire

Greetings, all!   It’s time for another caption contest!  This week’s photo features a little girl looking suspicious near a house fire.   You get to explain the context behind this.  Remember, it can be from any perspective — the girl, her parents, the firefighters, the neighbors, etc.   Just make it funny.  And of course, keep it clean.

child looking suspicious by house fire

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

(To anyone randomly finding this who is prone to get offended over everything, keep in mind that this is all joking around, having fun, so there’s no need to get offended or distraught over the humor.  If you can’t handle the humor, go read about politics or something.)

getting paid to do nothing

Would you like to get paid for doing nothing?  Then get a job at the U.S. Postal Service.  Because mail volume has went down, there isn’t enough work for all the employees.  Normally companies would have layoffs, or at least temporary layoffs, but because of the union, the USPS cannot let excess employees go.  So the people with no work to do cannot be fired, and they cannot go home for the day, so they are assigned to “resource rooms”, where they have to sit around until there’s work to do.   Sometimes the wait is for a few hours, but sometimes it’s for entire shifts.

According to this article, employees don’t like this.  If there’s nothing to do in those rooms, I can see that.  But some people bring books or puzzles to pass the time.  That wouldn’t be so bad.  If you have a portable gaming system like the Nintendo DS, that would be great.  Some people sleep.  Those holding rooms might not be the most comfortable places, but getting paid to sleep sounds like a good deal.  Well, a good deal for the people getting paid.  What about the people having to pay for it?

Since the USPS is run by the government, taxpayers are paying more than a million dollars each week for these employees to sit in empty rooms and do nothing.  The agency is averaging about 45,000 hours of “standby time” per week, which is the equivalent of having 1,125 full-time employees do nothing.  This costs more than $50 million per year!

So there are jobs out there where you can get paid for hardly working.  But I doubt the USPS is hiring now, so you’ll have to find another one.  I reckon you might have to work at a job before it turns into one that involves little work.   Because few job listings say “little work required”.  And if they did, there would be millions of people applying…

new alarm clock technology

There’s a new clock radio called Ambient Mist that can also get news and data feeds like weather that are transmitted over a nation-wide wireless network.  But what’s even cooler is that the device has its own e-mail address, so friends can send you messages that appear on-screen.

clock radio - Ambient Mist

Imagine the fun you could have with sending messages to people’s alarm clock!  Things like:

“Get up, you lazy bum!”
“Are you gonna be late AGAIN?”
“I pity the fool!”
“The weather forecast is chili today and hot tamale.”
“I’ve got gas!”