it’s time to save the world again

explosion - Licorne shot, French Polynesia, 1970, 1

cookieAccording to the Mayans, the world is about to end.  I reckon I better get busy saving it.  (Yeah, I procrastinated.  Besides, last-minute heroics are much more dramatic.)  If we’re all here on the 22nd, then I was successful.  In appreciation, I’ll accept homemade chocolate-chip cookies.  Other forms of gifts may be considered.  Now, I have a job to do…

more of The 3 Stooges, please

The staff here at Buffet o’ Blog all recently saw The 3 Stooges movie.  With us being all guys, we thought the movie was awesome.  It could’ve done without the woman dressing immodestly — there was no need for trashiness.  Overall, we thought it was very funny and mostly true to the original series.  However, somehow the movie concluded without there being a food fight. I don’t get it.  Such a scene was all setup at one point, and we all thought it was coming, but it never happened.  Were the directors trying to psyche us out, or did they just forget?

Anyway, this isn’t just a review of the movie.  I got to thinking about a further application of something that happened in the movie.  (Mini-spoiler alert.)  When Moe went to be on the reality TV show Jersey Shore, that was hilarious.  None of us watch Jersey Shore (do I even need to explain why?), but we all joked that it might be worth watching if someone like Moe was actually on the show.  (Well, I still wouldn’t watch that show because of all the immorality, but follow the idea.)  There are many shows that could benefit from the addition of The 3 Stooges.  The most obvious application is a parody movie involving them (or a reasonable facsimile) inserted into scenes reminiscent of other movies and/or TV shows.  But the concept could be expanded to all kinds of television shows.

I realize there are legal complications with this idea, but that’s for lawyers to iron out.  The point is, this idea would make many TV shows and movies more interesting, and you’d get more men to watch, which makes more money, so it’s a win-win situation.  Add The 3 Stooges to a chick flick, and it would become a romantic comedy that’s actually funny.  (Although the idea might not resonate well with women — some women find their brand of humor repulsive.  I don’t understand… wait, I already said that.)  🙂  Regardless of the gender culture gap, this could help many shows.

The next time you watch TV, imagine how the inclusion of The 3 Stooges would impact what you’re watching.  And if you want to take the idea even further, check out our post on how to make any movie awesome.  This idea fits in perfectly with that concept.  In fact, combine both ideas — take any show or movie, add the 3 Stooges, plus ninjas, car chases, wrecks, military-grade weapons, explosions, epic fight scenes, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, Mr. T, Buford T. Justice, Rosco P. Coltrane, etc., and it would be awesome beyond description.  (We should definitely be directing movies!)

a snow hurricane

This post may seem contrived given the content versus the current news event of Hurricane Sandy combining with a cold front to bring potentially unprecedented devastation, but I assure you this was written a couple of weeks ago.  It’s ironic because we discussed a snow hurricane, but considered it just rambling because that’s impossible, right?  Hurricanes require warmth to survive, yet this one may produce wintry precipitation with this “100-year-storm” / nor’easter / frankenstorm.  Anyway, enough with the irony… let’s get to the rambling.

Recently we had discussed how to prevent hurricanes, and one of our regular readers had the idea of using some of our existing technology that we’ve already invented.  His suggestion was to use our snow machine to create snow in the Sahara Desert.  (Yes, we have built a snow machine from scratch.  Follow the link if this is news to you.)  Based on just those parameters, it sounds like a win-win scenario, but there’s a flaw in the slaw.  However, I am getting ahead of myself.  Let me first explain his idea.

Of course we’d have to scale up our snow making machine many times, but this can be done given enough funds.  But as you might have already surmised, such an idea has a few logistical issues.  Making snow requires water, which is typically scarce in a desert.  (Yeah, yeah, that goes without saying — it’s a desert.  Duh!)

So this “solution” might be impossible.  But for a moment, let’s imagine the possibilities.  Given enough snow injected into the hurricane-forming cycle, could it create a snow hurricane?  (A snowicane?  A hurrisnow?  We’ll have to work on the name.)  But imagine a snowstorm in the form of a hurricane that comes to the southern U.S. and dumps snow everywhere… that would be awesome!  (For those of you not familiar with the southern U.S., it rarely snows here.  It’s a BIG DEAL when we get accumulation on the ground — schools cancel (sometimes even at the mere forecast of snow), businesses close, and people play in the snow and make snow ice cream.  Here in Arkansas, we rarely get more than a couple inches a year.)  Although, besides the awesomeness of it, there would be collateral damages, and then we’d be working on a way to stop it, so perhaps we aren’t really fixing the problem with this “solution”.  But personally, I’d rather have several inches of snow than several inches of rain, so I’m all for it.

Perhaps we should apply science here instead of just rambling.  (What an idea!)  Hurricanes may start with dry desert air, but they have to accumulate moisture at some point.  If we could make that moisture cold enough and somehow get it to stay cold… well, this might be impossible as well.

This idea will require a professional-grade think tank.  Fortunately, the Buffet o’ Blog R&D (Research & Development) team is qualified for such a task.  What we’ll need is (can you guess?): a lot of money.  Now, I know, you’re thinking it doesn’t take money to think, and there’s some truthiness to that.  But a hurricane-scale snow maker isn’t gonna build itself, plus there are numerous logistical impossibilities to overcome, and we’d need time away from our jobs to accomplish this mission.  So if you want a hurricane made of snow, you’re gonna have to send us money.  There’s simply no other way.  Again, we can print off some official certificates saying you’re awesome for contributing to this world-changing project, and you’ll feel warm and toasty inside (except when you’re out playing in the snow).

If you have money but doubt our plan, we could draw up some diagrams and flow charts to send to you in exchange for funding.  🙂  We could also meet to discuss this over good pizza…  (Our R&D department usually meet while eating… we’ve found it’s good for morale and having good ideas.)

carving pumpkins with guns

It’s that time of year when people carve up pumpkins to make jack o’lanterns for Halloween.  Traditionally this is done with a knife, but some people choose to think outside the box and have a little more fun with it.

One guy who calls himself Hickok45 uses various guns to “carve” his pumpkins.  In one video, he used a Glock .40 caliber:

In another video he used an Arsenal SGL 21 (7.62X39) to make a jack o’lantern.

He has many other shooting videos, like using an Uzi to blow up 50 two-liter sodas.  It was neat to see them exploding in slow-motion.  (This reminds me, it’s been way too long since I’ve shot stuff for fun.)  He shoots barrels full of water with historical guns, like the WWII German subgun, the MP40, then uses his 10mm pistol to finish it off.  So far, he has 702 videos, with over 93 million total video views.  That’s probably well over the amount where you start getting paid by YouTube for your videos.  That’s the kind of job I need!