Category: Quotes

New Year’s Resolutions, 2008

It’s time to start a new year, so I reckon it’s time to make New Year’s Resolutions.  I hear it’s the thing to do.  I made some last year, and I did well, I think.  My goals were to gain weight and to improve this blog.  Those resolutions worked out well for me, so I’m going to keep them for 2008 also.  Why change it if it’s not broken?  🙂

So there’s nothing new there, but I will include a New Year’s resolution themed quote for your enjoyment :

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

It’s funny if it’s true, but if you make resolutions you can keep (like I did last year), then you feel good about yourself and you wonder why more people don’t make resolutions they can actually keep…  🙂

quotes about birthdays

The founder of Buffet o’ Blog had a birthday this week, so I figured it would be a good time to write a post containing quotes about birthdays.  There’s a few original ones in here that you’ve never seen or heard before (which means this is the first time ever they’ve been published).  This first quote is one of my favorites, now that I’ve passed 30 and some of my friends like to call me old…  🙂

Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Men should always remember their woman’s birthday but never her age.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

Now there’s a new organization of ladies who say that they want to pay their own way on dates; who say that they don’t expect expensive gifts on their birthdays; and they say that they don’t want men to give them their seats on the bus.  The group’s called “Women’s Fib.”

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier.  I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. ~ Steven Wright

There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~ John Glenn, on retiring at 75

For my birthday, all I want is more time and more sleep and the death of all alarm clocks. Is that too much to ask? 🙂 ~ Karen S., 11/12/01

Today, when I throw away a musical birthday card, I am tossing out more computer power than existed in the entire world in 1948.

You could stop in long enough to bring a gift.  I like size large boxers*, chocolates, Crest White strips (skrips), Joop cologne, cash in varying denominations, tv dinners, tube sox, Brill Cream, chocolate pies and yard rakes.  I EZ to pleez.  *(no use one!) ~ PB, about his birthday dinner at “West Sizz”, 11/25/02

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday.  That time is age eleven.

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, that would make today your birthday.  Happy birthday.

Today I turned 24.  I’m assuming it’s not much different than 23.  Anyways, I just miss the birthday parties at McDonalds and Chucky-Cheese’s.  The good ole days… where Nintendo ruled supreme and Super Mario Bros was a way of life. ~ DaVinci, from Digifreq.com

I’ve had a lot of birthdays — well, not a lot of birthdays, but this is the best birthday ever. ~ Celia, from Monsters, Inc.

I’m now 25.  I’m legal to do everything now.  I feel so relieved.  I can now rent a car without paying an under-age penalty.  However, before 25, I could buy a house, buy a car, get married, have a child, etc, etc, but I couldn’t rent a car without paying an extra age fee.  I think it’s hilarious.  So what did we do on my birthday?  We went to Wal-Mart. ~ Chris Davis, 1/19/06

Happy birthday!  May you not feel as old as you look. ~ Thomas Wayne, 2/25/06

I think we should “celebrate” someone’s birthday by covering their cube in cheese dip. ~ Mango-Man, 6/15/06

In dog-years you’d be dead. ~ Nelson B., about my birthday, 10/31/06

Can you feel the love in that last one?  Me, neither.  But at least the dis’ was creative.

BTW, I realize that getting older is not so big a deal once you get out of your teens, and you may not even care to think about your age (and you’d probably rather your friends would forget about it), but your birthday is nonetheless a great excuse to go eat a lot of pizza or nachos or whatever you want.  I’m thinking Larry’s Pizza is a great place to go for this, with their endless buffet of pizza — and not just one-topping pizzas, but lots of specialty pizzas.  And they even bring the food to your table.  Mmm…  You just can’t go wrong with that…

quotes from cartoons, pt. 7

Somehow it’s been several months since I last wrote on the series.  So now I will continue it, since it’s a good thing.  For some of you, this brings back lots of good memories.  If for whatever reason it doesn’t, then you should watch more cartoons.  It’s really that simple.  Cartoons are not just for kids.  (Well, some are, but those are best ignored by all.)  Anyway, let’s get started…

I’m afraid my sidekicks are copping an attitude. ~ Space Ghost

Whoa, Space Ghost, man!  Crack a window, will ya! ~ Bobcat Goldwaith, on Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Another genius foiled by an incapable assistant. ~ Calvin

We demand that you bring this planet up to code! ~ Calvin and Hobbes

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. ~ Bart Simpson, on the chalkboard

Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.’ ~ Homer Simpson

I’m sorry for making gravy in the bathtub. ~ Homer Simpson

Marge: Homer, I think we have someone here who can help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: It’s NOT Batman!!

Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error. ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers

Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it’s up to me to lie in it.  I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere.  You don’t fight destiny, no sir!  And you don’t eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all… itchy. ~ The Tick

Leela: Didn’t you have ads in the 21st century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams.  Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games… and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky.  But not in dreams, no siree.
~ from Futurama

Fry: This can’t be happening!
Bender: It can and for all you know it is.
~ from Futurama

Now that you’re going off to war, I don’t want you to worry about your job. That’s why you’re fired. ~ from Futurama

“Say, Pooh, why aren’t YOU busy?” I said.
“Because it’s a nice day,” said Pooh.
“Yes, but—”
“Why ruin it?” he said.

[Stimpy puts the Happy Helmut on Ren]
Ren: [panicky] ‘ey!  What iz this?  Get it off me!
Stimpy: It’s the Happy Helmut, Ren.  Now you’ll always be happy!  And this is the remote control, and I use this button to control how happy you are.
Ren: YOU, SICK LITTLE MONKEY!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ren: All right, Stimpy.  He’s got us.  Give him back the five bucks.
Stimpy: [crying] I can’t! I’ve been bad, Ren.  You’ll smack me.
Ren: When have I ever?  Now go ahead.  Tell me what’s wrong.
Stimpy: All this talk about eating made me hungry.  I ate the five bucks.
Ren: [Slaps Stimpy] You stupid idiot!  You filthy worm!  You bloated sack!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ooooh, FREAK OUT! ~ Dexter Douglas, Freakazoid

Something smells like poo gas! ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Hans: Now, come.  We mustn’t linger.  It is not safe here at night.
Freakazoid: It’s day.
Hans: Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.
~ Freakazoid

A Lawn Gnome: We are wise and cunning.
Another Lawn Gnome: We stole man’s fire and then tried to hide it in our pockets.
A Lawn Gnome: That was painful and dumb.  So we became even more cunning.
~ Freakazoid

If either of you ever again ridicule an over weight person, I will personally sit on you! ~ FatMan, Freakazoid

Bad guy: Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber.
Freakazoid: That’s because we make lots of things better than other people!
~ Freakazoid

I believe in superheroes.  I believe they are kind, righteous people who keep their word.  I admire and I respect them.  All except the Hulk fella, him I no like.  He’s got a bad smell.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, my daughter, she started dating a boy… not a Shriner.  When he come to da house for the first time, I take him to da garage, to show him my little putt-a-putt.  That’s what I call my little Shriner car, my little putt-a-putt.  When we get to da garage, this boy, his name is “Snortz” or something, he takes one look at my little car, and he starts laughing and saying: “What a stupid little car!  Hey mister, why you have such a stupid little dumb little stupid-car?  This boy!  He make fun of my little putt-a-putt in front of-a my daughter!  I felt the fool! ~ Mr. Fizzizzi, Freakazoid

Grim: How come every time I take you kids to the mall it burns to the ground?
Billy: I blame it on the economy.
~ The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

I am the epitome of destruction… ~ gorilla to Samurai Jack

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actual excuses for working from home

One day when my team leader had already said he was WFH (working from home), he sent this at 8:16 : “I need to step out for a little while; … Call my cell if you need something from me before 10.”  Hmm… his stepping out will take about 2 hours.  I’ll have to remember this precedent.  He’s setting a good example, I think.  🙂

On another occasion my team leader said in an e-mail at 10:50PM, “If I’m not feeling any better in the morning I’ll be working from home, which means I’ll possible be sleeping late.”  Isn’t that great?  Maybe I’ll work from home tomorrow and “possibly be sleeping late”.  🙂

Another teammate said this one day when it was raining : “I’m working from home today and trying to stay dry.”  He could do better than that!  Is rain a valid excuse for WFH?  And another time he said : “I was up late dealing with a plumbing issue and slept through my alarm today.  I’m going to work from home this morning and be in the office this afternoon.”  He sure has a lot of reasons for WFH; seems like there’s one every week.  One day he didn’t even bother with an excuse — he just listed his cell phone number in an e-mail with the subject of “WFH today”.

One project manager on my team recently said this in an e-mail letting us know he was WFH : “I will be out of the office and working periodically from home today.”  At least he’s honest about “working periodically”.  🙂

Judging by the “quality” of these excuses, I should be able to start WFH a lot more.  🙂

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