Category: Food Critic

new Pizza Hut crusts, plus our ideas

It’s not uncommon for American restaurants to feature cultural variations on their foods in other countries.  Even McDonald’s has some vastly different options around the world.  But what’s odd is when an American food company takes American-style food and offers it only in other countries.

If you click this picture to enlarge it, be forewarned that it will probably make you want to order pizza. If only I had a printer that could “print” out a real pizza like this when ordering online…

For example, Pizza Hut has several new types of crusts for their pizzas in the Middle East.  America has had the stuffed crust pizza for years, which is a great idea.  Now, in the Middle East, there is a crust with hot dogs in it, and there’s a crust that’s made up of mini cheeseburgers and one made with chicken nuggets.  That seems like something you’d have in the U.S. first.  Rumor has it they are considering bringing these crusts to the U.S.

Here’s some I’ve heard of (with the commercial linked so you can see it): Crown Crust Chicken (with chicken nuggets), Crown Crust Burger (with mini “burgers”), Star Pops Pizza (with “sausage pops”, which look like mini hot dogs).  Also of note, from Malaysia, there’s the Golden Fortune Cheesy Crown, which has shrimp, fish, pineapple, and “crowns of cheesy liquid gold”.

I’m all for innovation, but I’m not sure those ideas above will make the pizza better.  The Buffet o’ Blog staff discussed this topic, and all of us agreed that the next logical evolution in pizza crust should be to add bacon.  Now there’s a can’t-miss idea, if implemented well.  Why hasn’t one of the pizza places thought of that?  (It’s obvious to us, which is just another sign that we should open a new restaurant, if we can acquire the necessary funding.)

Now if you want to think outside the box on improving pizza crust, here’s an idea: make the outer rim of crust breaded like southern fried chicken.  There might be logistical issues with making it work, but that’s what R&D departments are for.  If you could pull that off while maintaining the necessary texture and not having the crust absorb too much grease, it would be most awesome.  And then, as some of you are already thinking, add bacon to that.  🙂

We have more ideas, too, so, Pizza Hut (or other pizza restaurants), if you’re listening, have your people contact our people.  We’ll work for cash money and/or free food.  🙂

review of Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Taco

I finally tried the Doritos Locos Taco at Taco Bell.  It probably was a detriment to my weight-loss efforts, but it’s in the name of research, so it’s okay, right?  🙂  I also got a few other types of tacos for comparison and reference (also for research — gotta have a benchmark!).

This isn't my cat, but while searching for a picture I found this one, which is cool. It links to the original site.

My review is that it is good.  However, I expected a little more.  I must admit that I am somewhat spoiled when it comes to good tacos.  I don’t normally get plain tacos at Taco Bell because I often eat tacos at a certain Mexican restaurant that are really good, plus I make my own sometimes.  I’d say the Doritos Locos Taco is better than their normal taco, but I prefer some of their specialty tacos, like the Double Decker and the Nacho Cheese Crunch.  Maybe if Taco Bell would put the Doritos shell inside one of those specialty tacos, it would be even better.

Maybe they could figure out a way to make a taco shell out of Cheetos — that would be even better.

the Darth Vader burger

Ironically, after publishing this week’s caption contest featuring Darth Vader and Ronald McDonald, I happened across an image of a Darth Vader burger.  Apparently some restaurant in France has created a Darth Vader burger which has a black bun.  It definitely looks evil!  (I’m not sure what evil tastes like, and I don’t really want to find out.)

They also created a Jedi Burger, which looks lame.  Are those marshmallows?  And what’s that sauce?  I may not want to know…

The restaurant says the black bun is just from a dye, that it should taste the same.  It actually looks kinda cool, though it doesn’t look edible.  Still, I’d try it, given the opportunity.

For those of you curious why this is happening now, it’s to promote the re-release of The Phantom Menace — this time in 3D.  And if you noticed the spelling of Vador, apparently that’s how it’s spelled in France.  I don’t know why it would change, but whatever.

the ultimate potato salad

If you view this full-size, it looks somewhat like an alien blob. It may not be ALIVE! but it's obviously not food.

Recently I had several home-cooked Thanksgiving meals, and for there were lots of great traditional foods — turkey, ham, dressing, mashed potatoes, etc.  But there is one traditional food that I just don’t understand — potato salad (or as some say, tater salad).  Actually, let me call it “food”, because I’m not convinced it’s edible.

Normally I’m all about potatoes, in just about any capacity, but why ruin it with pickles and mustard?  I just don’t get it.  We’ve discussed at length that pickles are evil and should not be eaten.  I don’t like eating mustard, but at least I can accept that some people like it.  Pickles just aren’t food.  Even just the smell of them is repulsive.

Fortunately my in-laws realized my dislike of it and left some of the mashed potatoes uncorrupted for my consumption this year.  So props to them for that.

But why ruin good potatoes in such a manner when there are so many better uses for them?  Nonetheless, I understand how tradition and nostalgia is important, especially this time of year, so if potato salad is a tradition that many people feel should be continued, let’s revamp it.

So here and now, let’s invent a new-and-much-improved “potato salad” (if one must exist).  First off, no pickles or mustard.  Let’s just start with mashed potatoes (with butter and milk, of course), then add cheese and bacon.  Or we could go with bacon and gravy.  (Or all 3 if you feel adventurous.)  This will be a hundred times better than regular potato salad!  (Actually, I’m not sure I could even put a number on the comparison, since in its traditional form it is inedible to me.)

If we make this change, it might be culture shock to a few people, but once they try it, there’s no going back.  People will forget about the previous version, and everyone will be happier for it!  If it makes you sad that family members will no longer say things like, “Grandma Bottlestopper made the best tater salad”, realize that now people will say YOU make the best potato salad.  YOUR recipe will be written into the legends of Thanksgiving cooking, to be discussed for generations to come.  How will you feel about that?

If you have any additional suggestions or have done research on this topic, feel free to share.  Together we could invent the world’s best potato salad recipe.