Anyone want to play “King of the Mountain” err… blog? Hey we are all about randomness here right? In case you are unfamiliar with this game… “King of the Mountain” is a game loved by young children (& those young at heart) It’s an exciting game the goal of which is to reach the top of a pile of dirt (or something similar) typically by pushing other people down along the way and stay there. Then the others would do their best to dethrone the ‘king’ by knocking him off the top of the ‘hill’. Though a lot of effort is made to become the King, the glory is usually short-lived; because everyone wants to be King!
The rules here are simple… the most recent person to comment on this post becomes (queue echo effects) ‘KING OF THE BLOG’!
Buffet o' Blog 
Mango-Man
I AM the KING!!! 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Seems silly to me… (but in saying so, I’ll take the top spot. 🙂
Howard Deano-Demoncrappic Party Chair
I should be king. Then the world would be perfect.
Bowels Aflame
I will blow you off the top of the hill with my ultimate weapon–gas under pressure!
Paul the Apostate
According to my religious beliefs, I should be number one. And by virtue of this post, I am.
Important Evil Genius E.D
what fun… something ELSE for me to dominate at! ‘I’ am the KING! 🙂
Mr. Destructo
I know this “king” title will change numerous times, but it’s safe to say that this “important evil genius” character won’t end up holding it. About the only thing he dominates at is making a lot of noise…
Bowels Aflame
Like my butt!
Mango-Man
Once again… I RULE!
Thomas Wayne
Once again, I will say this is a stupid game, but, hey, somebody has to win! 🙂
Important Evil Genius E.D
the ONLY reason Mr. Destructo could ever win in this competition is cause he uses a feed reader… WUSS!
Important Evil Genius E.D
oh yeah… i’m King again… 😀
Mr. Destructo
Perhaps the “Important Evil Genius” chap should get with the times and try using a feed-reader (not that I need one). Perhaps he’s too “old-school” to use these current technologies. I wonder if he gets his grandson to put his comments on this website for him…
Mango-Man
ME!
Thomas Wayne
ME-ME-ME-ME-ME!
Her Majesty
Everyone knows Queens are the ones who *really* rule, regardless of whether it’s an empire or blog. But, please do carry on, as we find it entertaining as you fight (er, post) over who gets this secondary title… 🙂
Mr. Destructo
As “Important Evil Genius” found out, you can’t just come in here and say, “I rule” and expect people to believe it. It just doesn’t work that way.
I haven’t said such things directly, but if I were to, it would be prophetic, for one day my plan which I am planning will be unleashed upon the world with dramatic effect. Then everyone will know and fear me!
Al Bore
I should be president, but the election was stolen in 2000. So I’ll just settle for king o’ the blog.
New Kids on the Blog
We may be a washed up boy-band, but we’re still king of the blog!
Thing
I’m THING of the blog… heh…
Thomas Wayne
Now we have washed-up politicians and washed-up boy bands visiting… And we’re discussing David Hasselhoff (in a recent post)… what a coincidence. 🙂
I think this post is king of the stupid posts.
Mango Man
well if this post is ‘king of the stupid posts’ I suppose it’s a pretty good representation of most of the rest of what goes on in this blog 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Mango Man, this is a cool blog! Perhaps you see everything through stupid-colored glasses…
I SEE YOUR BONES
FIGHT FIRE WITH FARTS
Mango Man
This comment about the comment left by “I SEE YOUR BONES”
I see a few very serious short-falls with that method of fire-fighting…
I dont believe it’s in your best interest… & i’m sure the ‘important doctor’ would agree…
Thomas Wayne
Based on personal research, it’s been determined that farts actually increase fire… so you’ll want to be careful when combining them.
Bowels Aflame
Unless of course you’re talking about the “FIRE” sauce from Taco Bell. Based on my personal research, “FIRE” increases farts, even if they are already running rampant. I think TW would agree with this. FIRE!!!
Thomas Wayne
Yeah, I’ve seen that effect. So, in that case, fire increases farts, which increase fire. So it’s this big circular debacle…
It’s amazing how some “FIRE” sauce mixed with the right situation can create a legendary tale…
the Fluffy King
I should be king. I’m big enough for the part
Thomas Wayne
You may be the biggest around here, but I’m the phattest… 🙂
Mango-Man
uh… Thomas Wayne… I think you mispelled FAT! 😀
Thomas Wayne
Fat I may be, but not on par with the “Fluffy King”. But I am also extremely PHAT. (For those of you who aren’t phat, that means cool.)
BTW, Mango-Man, you misspelled misspelled… oh, the irony…
Thomas Wayne
Sing with me, SING WITH ME!
I am so cool and phat, cool and phat
Err’body wants to be where I’m at
The ladies say, “He’s one cool cat”
Don’t you wish you were phat like me?
Mango-Man
I got plenty of ‘phatness’ my own self… mostly hiding my ‘6-pack’, my belt, not to mention my feet, from view…
Royal Pain
I don’t know about your “phatness”, but I do know that I am now, King of the Blog!
Beamis
Did someone say, “Fight fire with farts”? FIRE, FIRE, FIRE! [PHVRRRT!]
huh huh huh mmm uh huh huh
Important Evil Genius E.D
mwa ha ha ha ha!!!
Beppo
Somehow I forgot to make a comment here. But now it’s my turn!
Important Doctor
Your time was short-lived… go eat more fat, sugar, and cheese!
Important Scientist
Oh, and don’t forget Bacon, BACon, BACON!!!!
Thomas Wayne
I’m not Canadian, although I tend to like their bacon.
mangoman
mmm… bacon… & oh yeah… i’m king again…
amazing how many comments this post has gotten… almost as many as our story 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Hopefully someday everybody will forget about this dumb game…
Might as well start now, while I’m “king”. 🙂
Mango-Man
🙂 nope… I haven’t forgot… in many ways this thread is alot like the Alamo… we will NEVER forget~ 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Important Evil Genius E.D
Mwa- ha ha ha….
Crappo the Clown
I will take the opportunity to mention that this is a good point in the conversation FOR ME TO POOP ON.
Important Doctor
While its yet to be proven that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. It is self evident that a comment a day makes this post longer & longer.
I hereby proclaim myself ‘Important KING M.D.’
Thomas Wayne
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, BUT… an onion a day keeps everyone away.
Mango-Man
Yes… this post is STILL going… kinda like the energizer bunny 🙂
Thomas Wayne
IN THE NEWS:
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
Important Doctor
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you
procrastinate.”
I said, “Just wait.”
( —Judy Tenuta )
Thomas Wayne
Top 10 reasons to procrastinate:
1.
Mango-Man
Oh well… as long as i’m up having to work again, I may as well be king of the blog for a bit…
Thomas Wayne
Butter vs. Margarine? I trust cows over scientists.
LORD OF POSTS
bow before me…
AND TREMBLE…..
Oh, that is so lame! You will pay for your use of inappropriate dialogue!
-Mojo Jojo
Mr. Destructo
I BOW BEFORE NO ONE!
All will tremble when my plan for world domination is fully revealed!
Mango-Man
AHA!!! I am king of the moment!
Thomas Wayne
Just one moment… 🙂
Logic Man
not this moment. cause i be the king!
it’s logical.
Mr. Destructo
Passion for destruction can be a creative passion.
Important Doctor
I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
~Charles Lamb
Thomas Wayne
I feel blogstipated…
Important Doctor
TW that’s what happens when you eat too much cheese.
If the internet cheesedip company ever takes off, I suggest you refrain.
go drink some bacon grease & call me in the morning.
Thomas Wayne
I can handle all the cheese I want! I’ve got it all figured out…
BTW, while thinking this through, I erased the thin line between genius and insanity.
Ploticlus
It is now time for me to be the king
Thomas Wayne
This post has lost its freshness… I want my money back.
Mango-Man
freshness? I GOT your freshness…
Whenever I reflect upon the events of the summer of 1776, I
feel thankful that I wasn’t one of the Founding Fathers.
Mainly because I’d be dead now.
—David Gunter
Thomas Wayne
Don’t play dumb. You’re not as good at it as I am.
Mango-Man
TW… I agree! 🙂 but now im king!
Thomas Wayne
I’m worth my weight in gold… 🙂 and I’m KING OF THE BLOG.
Mango-Man
wow TW… you must be worth a LOT!
Thomas Wayne
Yeah, as far as you know…
BTW, I think this post has officially reached rigamarole status.
Mango-Man
don’t you mean rigor mortis? 🙂 this post has been dead for some time 🙂 TW, obviously it’s just me and you *battling it out here…
* by battling I mean once every few weeks or month…
Thomas Wayne
Perhaps it is just you and me *battling it out here…
* by battling I mean me holding the title most of the time, then you find it after a month or two, then I hold it for a long time again. 🙂
Mango-Man
Perhaps it is just you and me *battling it out here…
* and by battling I mean a battle of wits… me being armed with wit and you showing up unarmed!
the ONLY reason you hold any type of title here (other than wuss) is because you utilize a feed reader.
Thomas Wayne
Perhaps it is just you and me *battling it out here…
* and by battling I mean me actually holding the title the most days, while you just talk smack that you don’t back up.
There’s nothing illegal about using a feed reader — there are even free ones out there. Or perhaps you’re scared of this new-fangled technology (like the self-proclaimed Important Evil Genius).
BTW, I’m “armed” — I have two. (I know, that’s a stupid pun, but it’s on your level.)
Mango-Man
TW… even I wouldn’t have gone there with the whole ‘2 arm bit’ (okay maybe i would)… And no I don’t fear new technology, it’s just that when I need a break I prefer to surf out on the net rather than having having it pre-delivered to my computer. That way I have a justified reason to take a longer and more effective break or something… then I return to my desk more refreshed and stuff.
Thomas Wayne
But wouldn’t using a feed reader enable you to get more slacking done in the same amount of time?
Mango-Man
If I’m slacking anyway… what makes you think I want to do MORE of anything?
Thomas Wayne
No, no, no — THINK! (Again, why do I have to do all the thinking around here?) You want to do MORE slacking! Can you do too much slacking?
Mango-Man
TW, you should slack a little on replying to this post… go write on the story or something!
Thomas Wayne
No, I’m just more efficient with my slacking, as evidenced by my comment here and in other places on this blog. You’re just jealous… 😮
Mango-Man
yeah… well, you’re just stupid! 🙂 Ha!
Thomas Wayne
Mango-Wuss, are you wanting to start something?
Underestimate me at your own peril.
Fab
I’m with MM on this one. He may be having a hard time articulating what he’s trying to say, but if I read him right, this is close to what he’s getting at: If you do too much of anything (including slacking), it becomes work. Especially if you use feed-readers and get too involved with “efficient” slacking schemes. I thought the whole idea of slacking was to be inefficient. What ever happened to taking your time and surfing at your leisure instead of having some feed reader dictate your web destination (or at least offering suggestions you may not be interested in at the moment). Ignoring or following suggestions then becomes work. Slacking is an art that requires the absence of work and sometimes it seems like work when you complicate your life with such stuff. MM would much rather slack on his on schedule so that he can make more time for flower gardening anyway. 🙂
Oh, and I guess this makes me King of the Blog, at least until TW’s feed reader tells him it’s time to come reclaim the throne. 🙂
Mango-Man
I’m rather surprised TW hasn’t’ already replied to fab… I figured he’d have some sort of feed reader alarm go off in case someone posted in the middle of the night (like say 3:31am) & yes Fab the purpose of slacking is to be inefficient… if I’m leisurely surfing the web and want to go get a cookie or slab of pie, I really don’t care if someone has a more recent post on ‘king of the blog’ than I do… at that moment I’m focused on my cookie. As much as I agree with most of what Fab said in this case, there at the end he goes and gets all stupid! If you’ve ever been to my house you’ll know I don’t have ANY flower growing, much less a flower garden. I have tried planting a vegetable garden a couple times in years past, apparently you are supposed to water, and weed it or something. go figure! so trust me when I say I’m not doing gardening of any type. 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Silly peoples… I have other priorities at 3:31AM, like sleeping. And I’m not turning slacking into work — that would very much defeat the purpose. I still make time for cookies or pie, even if I’m in the middle of surfing the Net.
The whole idea of slacking is to do fun stuff instead of work. I like to do a lot of fun stuff, but free time is limited, so I try to make the most of my slacking. It’s that simple…
Rumor has it that MM grew some watermelons in his flower garden, along with various other bushes and plants. And maybe he’s not good at growing flowers but still likes them anyway… 😮
Mango-Man
TW you so stupid… you’ve been to my house and while it is true a watermelon somehow grew in my landscaping. My landscaping is composed of a couple bushes (non flowering) planted by my house. If you can’t tell the difference in landscaping and flowers then you have bigger problems than I though! (I believe me… I already thought you had problems) 🙂
Fab
TW, it still sounds like you work too hard at having fun, thus minimizing your fun and making your life quite dull. 🙂
MM, I agree with what you said about TW-Geekboy’s lack of slacking ability, but I have to agree with him on one thing: the preponderance of the evidence STRONGLY suggests that you do have a strong liking for all things that bloom. We have written evidence here: https://buffetoblog.wordpress.com/2006/11/08/a-man-who-likes-flowers/ 🙂
Thomas Wayne
I’m an expert at slacking… I’ve been practicing for years! 🙂 Perhaps y’all just don’t understand. You keep spouting stupidities when I explain my reasoning, but it’s not gonna bring me down. Nope. I laugh in the face of stupidity!
But I will agree with something Fab said during a rare moment of intelligence — that Mango-Man does seem to have a special place in his heart for flowers and such, and there is documentation provided by important psychologists. It would be much easier for MM if he would quit living in denial, so we could help him with his problem. Knowing is half the battle.
Puns-R-Us
TW, you laugh when you look in the mirror??? 🙂
MM’s problems are rooted much deeper. It seems that he doesn’t listen to a blooming thing we say. All the while he blossoms with denial which stems from his back-petalling. Let me plant an idea in the mind of the bouquet of readers out there: Mango-Man has watered down his true feelings trying to convince us he has made other arrangements. I can think of a dozen or more times he has expressed his true feelings, but now, he’s being e-vase-ive. He should’ve rose to the occasion and admitted his ways instead of garden the truth.
Thomas Wayne
I can make myself laugh when looking in the mirror. Sometimes I’ll be wearing an old shirt, and I’ll flex my muscles and rip the shirt to shreds, and it is pretty cool, I must admit. And then I laugh at the obvious reality, that maybe I’m slightly embellishing what really happens. But it is funny nonetheless… 🙂
Mr. Puns-R-Us, as much as I think puns are stupid, you might be on to something there. Since Mango-Man likes flowers so much but has trouble understanding what we’re trying to tell him — to help him, of course — perhaps using the flowers analogies will help him get it. Let’s hope that works, for his sake.
Mango-Man
interesting theory… so lets see… in order to get through to TW I need to speak in language he understands… okay… here goes…
what do I think of TW? he’s a brainless dimwitted imbecile with that speaks only in foolish, inane, meaningless ramblings. His nonsensical ‘theories’ are pointless, moronic, mindless, imbecilic and downright laughable.
and don’t get me started on Pun’s R Us irrelevant ramblings and half-baked, underdeveloped feeble-minded thinking that is grossly intelligence-deficient, excessively moronic, pointless, and rash! because I’d likely run out of adjectives!
there now… I feel better! I think that did ‘help’ 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Poor Mango-Man… when people try to help him, he lashes out in anger that his obsession with flowers has been exposed. If only he could realize that accepting the truth would set him free…
Fab
He must be a Democrat! 🙂 I bet he has a Hillary ’08 bumper sticker on his pink Cadillac that he got for selling Mary Kay! 🙂
Mango-Man
sure have your fun… but you’re still wrong!
it’s ironic you claim that i’m feminine yet you go by the name of ‘fab’ … yep… that there is RICH!!! 🙂
TW… i’m not angry, merely trying to help you in your (recurring) moment of stupidity…
Fab
Wait, did someone who calls himself “Mango-Man” just say that “Fab” sounds feminine? P-lease!
I’m now King of the Blog, so I guess that makes you Queen of the Blog. I guess we’ll start calling flower-boy Mango-WOMAN! 🙂
Thomas Wayne
I let someone else share in the glory for a few days, but now it’s time to retake my rightful place as king of this blog!
Mango-Man
whatever TW… admit it… you were taking a nap! and FAB… you’re just stupid sometimes… I say we all settle this like men… how does a larrys pizza eating contest on monday sound? mmmm 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Is there anything wrong with taking a nap? 🙂
A pizza-eating contest sounds like a good idea. I’d win, but at least then you’d know and we’d have definitive proof.
BTW, did you notice we’re over 100 comments on this post now?
Fab
I’m not only King of the Blog, but I’m also King of Eating Pizza! I mean, look at me. You don’t get this way by eating fibrous vegetables! 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Perhaps you’re getting a little too big for your britches… bring on the pizza buffet!
Mango-Man
pizza eating contest it is then! 🙂 I can already hear the ‘fat larry’s’ specialty pizza trembling in fear!
Thomas Wayne
Well, we ate pizza today, and lots of it. There was no official count, but by my guestimations, I won. So I’m king of the blog AND king of the pizza buffet!
Now the rest of y’all can fight over second place.
Fab
I’ve pooped bigger than you, TW! 🙂
Mango-Man
Fab, i’m not sure what poop has to do with eating pizza… you’re just upset that you lost (since you showed up late)… and while there was no official count of pizza slices I proclaim myself the winner. (tw’s guestimations have ‘always’ been off)
Thomas Wayne
I don’t think poop has much to do with eating pizza, but eating lots of pizza does have something to do with poop. But I digress…
Mango-Man, you were too busy eating your rabbit food (salad) to win the pizza eating competition. (I know you shamed!) And so the winner is me (as was originally declared).
Mango-Man
TW you so stoopid!
you told me just today that you were having rabbit food… I mean a salad for lunch! & just for the record you can’t just declare yourself the winner… someone else has to do that for you… and so I declare myself the winner… 🙂
Fab
One guy ate rabbit food (MM) and another was busy absorbing the grease off his pepperoni with a napkin (TW). With that much wussines going on with you two, I had to have won. Plus, look at me! Do you really for a second believe you can consume more pizza than me? P-lease! I’ve pooped bigger than both of you! Combined!
Mango-Man
all I want to know is WHAT IN THE WORLD are you doing going in after me to check out the size of my poop? besides that… I ‘usually’ flush 🙂
Crappo the Clown
I will take the opportunity to mention that this is a good point in the conversation FOR ME TO POOP ON.
(Again…)
Important Doctor
I’m king of the blog!!! 🙂 for now anyway.
Mr. Destructo
MUWAHAHAHA!
Important Evil Genius (E.D)
Behold the power of CHEESE!!!
Thomas Wayne
My turn… 🙂
I GOT your cheese! 😮
Important Evil Genius (E.D)
oh yeah! well i’ve got EVIL cheese 🙂
Important Evil Genius (E.D)
oh yeah… mwa ha ha ha!!!
Thomas Wayne
I’ve heard that cheese is powerful… but my cheese isn’t evil. I only use my cheesy powers for good. Wait, that doesn’t sound right… You know what I mean!
Important Doctor
TW… if you’ve ever tried the bacon & cheese diet you may may find that cheese can INDEED be evil… but the resulting weight loss is ‘sudden AND dramtic’ 🙂
Thomas Wayne
Wait a minute! How come I didn’t have the last comment? Did someone delete my comment? Is there some kind of conspiracy going on here?
I’m the winner! I demand a recount!
Mango-Man
I think the reason that you aren’t the winner is that you’re a LOSER!!! 🙂
Thomas Wayne
No, no, no… NO! I’m not only a winner, but THE winner, regardless of what this stupid post says…
Holiday Inn Express
In this case you are clearly the loser, as I declare myself the winner.
Thomas Wayne
It is good to be the king!
Holiday Inn Express
Indeed it is.
Thomas Wayne
INDEED! So I must take it back!
Mango-Man
You realize this posting could go on forever right? 😀
Thomas Wayne
Probably not forever. At some point, reason will win out, and y’all will realize that I am the KING OF THE BLOG, so y’all will give up, and thus the game will be over.
Mango-Man
What do you mean “reason will win out” have you ever actually MET the people that frequent this blog? there is not reasoning here!
Thomas Wayne
I’ve met some of the people, which will help them realize that I am the coolest person around, thus definitely deserving to be king of the blog. It all makes sense…
Mango-Man
you wouldn’t be cool even if you lived in a refrigerator! 🙂
Holiday Inn Express
If you lived in a refrigerator, you could be the fatest person around.
Mango-Man
you hear that TW? Holiday Inn called you the fattest person around!
Thomas Wayne
No, actually, he said “fatest”, which is a derivative of “fate”, which can also mean destiny. And I’m destined for greatness. So what he meant was that I’m most destined for greatness. Except that I don’t have to live in a refrigerator for that to happen — he was wrong on that part.
Holiday Inn Express-Speech writer
No… that definitely should have been faTTest! apparently spell check was not ran on the final draft of that statement. So while you are not “destined for greatness” you can still aspire to be the “fattest person around”.
Barry Wayne O'bomber
I am not only now ‘King of the Blog’, but after this election is stolen by my ACORN buddies voting early and often, I will be ‘King of the World’. That Tony Blair guy ain’t got nothing on the destruction I will bring! See Tony’s wimpy destruction here: https://buffetoblog.wordpress.com/2008/10/26/caption-contest-explosion-behind-man/
Thomas Wayne
Let’s hope ACORN and their evil minions can be stopped before America becomes an Obama-nation!
Beamis
Does anyone know the number of the Toilet Replacement Service? I ate at Taco Bell last night, and now my toilet is broken…
Mr. Destructo
00111010001010011010101010000011110100011011010110101011
01001111101110001101011110100101010100110110001101010110
1010101110110001101001
(Definitely no evil mind control code here… my, uhh, cat stepped on the keyboard…)