why southern weather makes no sense

In this video (below) there’s a person scheduling the weather for the South (meaning southern United States, from part of Arkansas to Florida). Attending this meeting are the four seasons: winter, spring, summer, and fall. What will happen as they try to figure out what kind of weather the South should have this year? (This is comedy, if it isn’t obvious.)

While that’s exaggerated, there is some truth to it. My favorite part is winter planning a few snowflakes to shut everything down. That actually does happen. I know people in the up north don’t get it, but in the South there are very few snowplows or trucks to salt the roads. Also, southerners typically don’t have much experience in how to drive in snow, so there’s that danger. But it’s all okay, because snow is so rare here, so it’s a special occasion. I have a friend that grew up in the South, then moved to Colorado. She said most people there take snow for granted, because they see so much of it. Many of the people there didn’t have any interest in throwing snowballs or building a snowman (or snow castles or snow monsters, which deserves its own post).

While there is a lack of snow most of the winter, it also means much of the winter is somewhat mild. It does get below freezing at times, but that’s usually just for a day or two, then it’ll be back to the 60s by the end of the week, so you can return to shorts and T-shirts. The only bad part is the middle of summer, where extreme amounts of heat and humidity mix together for a rather unpleasant atmosphere. But it’s just two months that are really bad. The same people made a video about that, too:

If you haven’t experienced southern humidity, then you might not get it. There are summer days where you walk outside and within seconds you are sweating. Sometimes it seems like sweating starts instantly. I don’t know how quickly the body can respond to the change in temperatures, but that’s not something I particularly want to research. (I will add that I am extremely thankful for air conditioning!)

There’s a saying in the South that if you don’t like the weather, just wait a day or two and it’ll change. That is mostly true, except for July and August, where there’s a 99% chance of it being hot and humid every single day. So for those months, the weatherman’s job of making the forecast is easy — really hot, with a 20% chance of thunderstorms, almost every day.

Groundhog Day turns violent, meaning uncertain

Well, we just had Groundhog Day.  It’s too bad the holiday isn’t anything like the movie.  That would be great if we got to live the same day in a row a few times.  🙂  Anyway, supposedly the groundhog saw his shadow, so we have more winter.  Whatever…

The news on this day should be what it means that a groundhog bit New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg during their ceremony.  Yes, their little festival had violence.  I’ve wondered why groundhogs participate in this stupid tradition, when they should be hibernating.  Well, “Staten Island Chuck” decided to take matters into his own hand… er, mouth.

But now the bigger question remains unanswered — what does this physical violence mean for the rest of the winter?  Does it signal the worst winter ever?  Does it foreshadow our ultimate doom?  What exactly is going to happen now?  I guess time will tell (unless there happens to be a groundhog prediction expert in the crowd)…

it’s now winter, they say

As you might’ve heard, winter officially started today, December 21, at 6:04 AM CST.  But I have a problem with this.   See, we had lots of ice here a few days ago, which is most definitely winter weather.  But according to some official consensus, we were getting ice and snow in the fall.  And this is in Arkansas, where we rarely get ice and snow.   Some places in the country have had feet of snow already!

So obviously the system is broken.   And I’m not afraid to challenge the status quo.  We need to devise a new system for determining the seasons.  Now before some sticklers for traditions get crazy over my ideas, I know why the current system is setup.   It’s based on the winter solstice, which is the shortest day of the year.  And I could use more terms like equinoxes and diurnal movements and such, but all that isn’t necessary at this time.  Because whatever it’s based on now, it doesn’t work.

I propose we use a system based on the actual weather.   That just makes a lot more sense.  (Maybe too much…)  I know, it would vary depending on where you are, but that’s fine.  Once it starts snowing, then it’s winter.  When snows have ended and the average high temperature is in the 50s or 60s, then spring is starting.  When the average high temperature starts exceeding 90 degrees, it’s summer.   And so forth.  And note that I’m basing these numbers on Arkansas.  Your results may vary.

Is this too much to ask?  Or can someone suggest a viable reason for keeping it the way it is?

it’s December but it’s not winter yet

The other night we got some freezing temperatures here in Arkansas.  And I heard someone saying it’s about time it started feeling like winter.  It is December, after all.  But did you know it’s technically not winter yet?  It doesn’t start under December 22 at 12:08 AM CST.

So this means that many states in the northern U.S. are getting several feet of snow in fall / autumn.  Go figure…

So why is it December 22?  Well, I could confuse you with some scientific research about solstices and equinoxes and diurnal movements and such, but that’s not really necessary, is it?  Our winter solstice is the shortest day of the year, which is when winter “starts”.  But wouldn’t it make more sense if that was in the middle of winter?

I know, some people will say you can’t change the times of winter because that’s the way it is and it’s documented all across textbooks and stuff.  Well, astronomers removed Pluto from planet status really easily, didn’t they?  Besides, schools like for textbooks to be updated so they can rip students off by not buying back their previous textbook (which was new) and charging $60 or more for a new one that has a few words different.  Although, having gone through that myself a few times, I don’t want to promote that.

Rambling aside, perhaps I should become a world-renown scientist and make some common-sense changes to how things are defined in the scientific world.  I’ve got a lot of ideas…