I’ve heard there are some people who are vegetarians, meaning they don’t eat meat.  How can this be?  I’ve heard some propaganda that tried to convince me to become one, but it was stupid.  Can you imagine giving up steak for carrots?  Bacon for broccoli?  Ham for cauliflower?  Sausage for asparagus?  Chicken for celery?  No way!  Just the thought of that would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable.

When did this rigamarole get started?  Mankind has always eaten meat.  We’re supposed to eat meat.  Just the smell of someone putting burgers or steaks on a hot grill seems right.  That smell instantly makes me hungry for that.  And if I’m not the one grilling, it makes me kinda jealous…  You certainly don’t get that same effect if you grill some vegetables.  People would look at you funny, wondering if you know how to cook on a grill.

Mmm… look at those tasty radishes!  Wouldn’t you rather eat that than shrimp?  Ugh!  Maybe you’d rather give up lobster for artichoke.  Whatever…  I mean, look at the name of artichoke — does that sound like a food?  It sounds like something that might kill you!

Anyway, I could go on talking about how silly it is to be a vegetarian.  But I’ll tell you a real-life testimony of how crazy it is.  I had a friend who fell victim to that propaganda, and he tried it for a few weeks, then decided he didn’t need to wear deodorant anymore.  I became concerned for him, because obviously he was losing his mind.  He eventually came to his senses, fortunately.  We have to watch who we’re listening to.  There are even some celebrities who believe this nonsense.  For example, Pamela Anderson has been quoted as saying, “The best thing any of us can do to fight pollution is to adopt a vegetarian diet.”  What in the world?!?  Obviously she’s lost her mind, because that makes no sense whatsoever.