Tag: science

proof that pickles are not for eating

We discussed here before that pickles are evil and shouldn’t be eaten.  Science has confirmed this, by showing that pickles can be used to create TV screens.  That’s a much better use for pickles than consumption (and it doesn’t involve the risk of you becoming a zombie).  That shows that even something as evil as a pickle can be used for good.

However, it’ll be essential that the TV screen doesn’t smell like pickles, or I’ll have nothing to do with it.

Also, other organic materials can be used to create OLED screens, so I still think it would be a good idea to shoot all pickles into the sun.

tasty animals more likely to be eaten

In the news last month, Discovery published an article that concluded that bad-tasting animals were less likely to be eaten than good-tasting animals.  It seems like that should be obvious…

The researchers concluded this by studying chemical compounds and by coating certain animals with bitter-tasting substances to see which were chosen.   That methodology may have its place, but it seems like part of the research should’ve involved grilling lots of animals to see which taste better, then look at what humans have been fond of eating, whether taste is the primary motivation.  This test should also involve copious amounts of gravy.  🙂

steak-and-milk-gravyThis link was sent in by Turtle Dundee, who happens to be an expert in the field of tasty animals and who already knew this information before reading the article.  Perhaps he should publish some of his research on tasty animals…

On a side note, while looking for pictures of steak with gravy, many of the pictures didn’t have enough gravy.   I know some parts of the country do things differently, but if there’s one thing we in the South know about, it’s frying food and making gravy with it.  So let me make this clear: the gravy should cover the entire portion of the meat (and mashed potatoes too!).   If that’s too much for some people, serve it on the side, or have the dish include unlimited gravy.  Just don’t serve a chicken-fried steak with only enough gravy for half of it.  That just ain’t right!

country fried steak with little gravy, green beansAlso, many of the pictures included vegetables like green beans, celery, lettuce, or broccoli.  To each their own, I suppose, but I’m a “meat ‘n taters” type of guy.   Adding “green” to the picture doesn’t make it look more appealing — just add more meat, more taters, and more gravy, and that will impress people.

On another side note, I had a small, healthy lunch today, and all this talk of gravy is making me incredibly hungry!  I know there’s a lot of great foods out there, but you just can’t top a meal of fried chicken, mashed taters, biscuits, and milk gravy.  (And of course Southern-style sweet tea should be served with this meal, but that should go without saying.)

scientists discover a skinny gene

I saw something quite interesting in the news recently : scientists discover “skinny” gene.  If that’s true, then it should be made into a vitamin I can take.   I really miss the days when I had a metabolism, when I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight.  But since I got out of college and started working in a cubicle farm, that’s no longer the case.

Now, I know, some of you are thinking I should just eat less and exercise more.   If that’s what I wanted to do, I’d be skinny.  But I enjoy eating.   And while I enjoy some forms of exercise, there’s not always time to do enough of it.  If only I was genetically predisposed to be skinny, then I could eat fried chicken with biscuits & gravy more often.   Oh, and include mashed taters, too, covered with gravy.  Yeah, that’s the stuff.  And I’d order pizza a whole lot more.  I’d definitely eat much better if I was unable to gain weight.  And then I wouldn’t have to rearrange my schedule, giving up fun activities, to make more time for exercise.   And who knows, maybe if I wasn’t overweight and thus had more energy, I’d do more exercise-type activities.  As it is now, exercise makes me feel tired.

So I’m looking forward to being transformed into a skinny person by the benefits of cutting-edge science.  They need to hurry up with it, because I think a lot of people need this.

farting lowers your blood pressure

There’s a new article in science research that you won’t believe.  According to LiveScience, the stink in farts helps control blood pressure.  I know, you think I’m making this up, that it’s some crazy hypothesis that I pulled out of my butt.  But this is actual science.  Here’s the link, so you can verify for yourself: The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure.

The stink they’re referring to is the “smelly rotten-egg” smell, which is hydrogen sulfide (H2S).  They’ve found that cells lining mice’s blood vessels make the gas and the purpose is to keep their blood pressure low by relaxing the blood vessels to prevent hypertension (high blood pressure).  Then the researchers said the gas is “no doubt” in human blood vessels, too.

So the conclusion here is obvious — passing gas lowers your blood pressure.  It also seems obvious that the inverse would be true — refraining from farting could increase your blood pressure.  So you could say farting is good for you.

On a side note, I found this link on the K-Love website, and it said “Warning: Mature Content”.  That’s not true at all!  There’s nothing vulgar or obscene in that news article, and it didn’t even make any crude jokes involving potty humor.  Why is this “mature content”?  Is farting vulgar?  I’ll answer that for you: NO!   Let me make something clear: EVERYONE PASSES GAS!  It shouldn’t be a societal taboo.  Why do some people think it’s rude?   Of course, there are some situations where you should temporarily hold it or go outside, but most of the time those exceptions don’t apply.

So my conclusion from all this is that you should let ‘er rip, because it’s good for your health.  If people get all discombobulated about it, explain that it lowers your blood pressure, and if they don’t believe you (which is likely), refer them to this article so they may be enlightened.