Tag: president

Is Obama part of the biggest practical joke ever?

I remember a discussion with some of my friends where we discussed ideas for the biggest practical joke in history.  The discussion was done just for fun, because these days you couldn’t pull off a huge joke without offending multitudes of people — so many people are just wusses when it comes to humor.

But after seeing Obama’s first 60 days in office, and especially the political events of the past week, I have to wonder: Is President Barack Obama part of the biggest practical joke in history?   I keep hearing unusual news stories about Obama, and I find myself wondering if people are just making it up or if Obama is really doing stuff that stupid?   It seems inconceivable that our nation’s leader could be this ignorant and incompetent.  Here’s a few examples:

* Obama was laughing incessantly about the economy on 60 Minutes, to the point that the host asked him, “Are you punch drunk?”  That’s not something you expect to have to ask the President of the United States!

* Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez called him “ignorant”.  Well, that could probably happen to anybody.

* AIG execs get huge bonuses, and at first Obama’s administration said they didn’t know about it, then we find out they are lying.  For some reason, they decided to let the bonuses remain.

* Obama appeared on Jay Leno like he has nothing more important to do.  Has anyone told him the campaign is over and that he has a LOT of work to do?

* Speaking of which, Obama continues acting like a celebrity, thinking it’s all about him.

* Obama keeps filling leadership positions with people who don’t pay their taxes.  Don’t they run background checks?

* Obama said he wouldn’t put people in his administration who were recent lobbyists, then he did exactly that the same day, in the same speech.  You just can’t make that stuff up.

* Obama gave 25 DVDs to the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, and then the DVDs weren’t playable over there because they are region encoded to work only in North America.  Did that really happen?  Doesn’t our President have access to better gifts for leaders of other countries?

* Under Obama, our government seems to be spending a few more hundred billion dollars every other day, when our government is already over $10 trillion in debt.   Doesn’t he realize that it’s bad fiscal policy to spend more money than you have?  And that if our country ever runs out of available credit, we’ll go bankrupt?

* Obama claims he will cut the deficit in half, but then his policies call for unprecedented spending.  What deficit is he talking about, and how many expenses are excluded from those calculations?

I could go on, but you get the idea.  I realize Obama is an amateur when it comes to leading a country, but he’s hired a lot of Bill Clinton’s former people to report to him, so they have experience (for what that’s worth).  Plus, some of this stuff should just be common sense.  So instead of thinking that Obama is really this stupid and incompetent, this must be some kind of huge practical joke.  Surely, any day now he’ll say “April Fools!” and everyone will breathe a sigh of relief and eventually have confidence in our government again.   Come to think of it, April 1st is right around the corner, so maybe that’s when we’ll find out if this is all for real or not…

how I’d party in Obama’s situation

I was just reading about the crazy-huge inauguration party that Obama is having.  The budget for it is $49 million, but the estimated actual cost is around $150 million.  I could think of much better ways to allocate taxpayer funds, but I already ranted about that on my other blog.

Here, let’s take a more humorous view of it.  The $49M will cover the standard amount of food, security, and other necessary items for a Presidential party.   (That still seems very excessive, but whatever.)  So Obama is spending an additional $100M for his party.

Let’s see… if I was hosting a party and had an extra $100M to spend, what would I do?   That’s so much money that it boggles the mind.  I don’t even know where to start.

I’d have the world’s largest nachos buffet, for starters.   (Although that could be covered by saving money on the standard food package — you know they’re overpaying for that stuff.)   Actually, with all that money, I’d have available ALL the types of food I want.  There would be lots of games with fabulous consolation prizes.  I’d have huge virtual reality gaming booths, with the latest technology.

I need to start thinking bigger or I’ll never spend that kind of money.  Let’s see… I’d buy my own private island.  Yeah, that’s it.  And I’d have a castle built on my own island.  I’d buy my own private plane (along with carbon credits so folks couldn’t complain).  And I’d fly all my friends to said island for a massive after-party party that lasted for weeks.  They’d all get vacation pay so it won’t hurt to miss work.

I’d probably still have some money left over after that, surprisingly.  So I’d build a weather-controlling satellite and take over the world.   Wait, maybe I should hold off on that one for a while.

I’d create my own TV station, and it would play only programs approved by me.   So of course it would be awesome, and I’d make millions more dollars.  🙂

This could go on for a while, I think.  So I’ll stop for now.

how to prepare for an Obama-nation

Now the 2008 Presidential election is over, and if you didn’t want Barack Hussein Obama to win, it’s too bad for you.  He won, so now we’re stuck with him for 4 years.  (And he’s already hinting at another term, but don’t let that scare you.  That’s still way off in the future, and perhaps the average voter will know him better by then.)

If you’re one of the people who are upset and scared about Obama as President, here’s some ideas on how to handle the situation:

  • Live in denial — That might sound nice, but it’s not realistic.  Society in America is gonna change, and you’re gonna notice.  Be real.  Take it like a man.  America has voted, and Obama is the people’s choice.  Now we’ve buttered our bread, and we have to lie in it.
  • Get out the sackcloth and ashes — You might want to order an extra supply of that for the next few years…  Pray for our nation.  Pray often!
  • Move to another country — I suppose that’s an option, but America is still one of the best countries.  If Obama is going to derail that, it would probably take a few years.  Most of the country isn’t as liberal as he is.  (So, uh, why did he get elected?  Oh, that’s right — deception!)
  • Embrace the change — This one would be difficult, and it might be bad for your mental health.  If you’re against socialism, big government, and far-left ideology, you shouldn’t switch over.  Just stay conservative and/or rational, and vote for someone else in 2012.
  • Pass gas every time someone mentions Obama — That might make you feel better, but the people around you aren’t going to appreciate it.  Well, some might at first, but it could become overwhelming.

Well, I hope this list helps you adjust to life in an Obama-nation.  I’m sure there are other alternatives, but this is a start.  If you have any other ideas, please share them in a comment, so we can all ease in to the massive amounts of CHANGE that Obama promised.

caption contest, Barack Obama, President-Elect

Election day for 2008 has come and gone, and now Barack Hussein Obama is our President-Elect.  This is truly a historic time for our country, in numerous ways.  (Hopefully it will be the good kind of history.  Time will tell.)

Anyway, in order to commemorate this event and to give you an outlet for your thoughts on it (whether positive, negative, excited, scared, terrified, curious, crap-your-pants-horrified, elated, I-can’t-believe-this-just-happened, dumbstruck, I’m-moving-out-of-the-country, whatever), here’s a picture needing a caption.

So given the current state of affairs in the United States and that Barack Obama will be our next President, explain what Obama might be thinking in this picture.

obama-daydreaming

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)