Tag: news

Are dinosaurs extinct because of their farting?

In the news recently, British scientists (“boffins”) have announced that dinosaurs’ reckless farting might have led to their extinction.  Read for yourself:

Dinosaurs may have farted themselves to extinction, according to a new study from British scientists.

The researchers calculated that the prehistoric beasts pumped out more than 520 million tons (472 million tonnes) of methane a year — enough to warm the planet and hasten their own eventual demise.

Until now, an asteroid strike and volcanic activity around 65 million years ago had seemed the most likely cause of their extinction. …

“Our calculations suggest these dinosaurs may have produced more methane than all the modern sources, natural and human, put together.”

“Not the momma!”

Yeah, I called it reckless farting.  (Have you ever heard those two words together before?)  It’s bad enough to just fart whenever you want, but when the air becomes unsuitable for life, it’s time to change policy.  I realize they’re just animals, but you’d think they could’ve figured it out.  Even animals can learn by conditioning (like Pavlov’s dogs).  Here, you’d think after millions of years, they’d figure out a disturbing pattern.  Por ejemplo: [fart]  “Whew, that stinks.”  [fart again]  “That’s some stank-terribleness.”  [fart again]  “I can hardly breathe…”  [fart again]  “I’m about to die!”  The pattern is obvious.

Doesn’t it seem odd that there are people who get paid to calculate how much dinosaurs passed gas?  Imagine meeting new people and they ask you what you do — “I study dinosaur farts.”  You’d get some weird reactions, I’m sure.  But you’d be a hit at the elementary school on bring-your-parent-to-school day.  🙂

You’ve won the lottery… oh, oops…

What would you do first if you won the mega jackpot in the lottery?  300 Danish people were recently told they had won between 1 billion and 280 billion crowns ($49.7 billion), but it turns out they had won only between $35 to $70.  It took an hour and a half to find and correct the mistake.  How would you like to be the lottery director who gets to inform these people of the mistake?

Three hundred Danes believed a dream lifestyle of champagne and caviar awaited them this week after they were announced billionaire lottery winners — until they discovered it was a mistake. …

“Three hundred of our lottery players who won the lottery, the Keno, received a message saying they had won a sum in the billions.  And they never won that amount … We are of course very sorry.  We have now written to them to inform them of the sum that they really won,” Roersig said. …

Roersig said some of the gamers “were disappointed, others were furious and I can fully understand that, but most of them took it well.”

I have a feeling that after all the excitement and jubilation, the words “very sorry” just aren’t much consolation.  I wouldn’t be surprised if there will be some lawsuits in this scenario.  I figure some of the “winners” already quit their job and starting buying expensive stuff.  The lottery director said he’s considering increasing their winnings to help compensate for their disappointment.  I’m curious how much that would be.

I wonder if any of the “winners” sent an e-mail to their boss saying something along the lines of “take this job and shove it”.  If you know the song by that title, are you singing it yet?  It’s one of those that can get stuck in your head.  If you aren’t familiar with it, it was a #1 hit in 1978, written by David Allan Coe and covered by Johnny Paycheck.

Anyway, I also wonder how many of those people later sent an e-mail to their boss saying “I’ve always appreciated your ability to take a joke” or “My computer got a virus and sent these crazy e-mails to everyone”.  🙂

If you aren’t familiar with that song or haven’t heard it in a while, it’s (of course) all over the YouTube.  But here’s one version I remember seeing from the Dukes of Hazzard, where Johnny Paycheck got caught in one of Boss Hogg’s infamous celebrity speed traps and thus had to sing at The Boar’s Nest.  Classic stuff here…

Boss’ reactions to the main hook are awesome.  That’s one of the best TV shows of all time.

I wonder how many people have written about the lottery and the Dukes of Hazzard at the same time…  🙂

new Darwin Award nominee

There is no shortage of contestants for the annual Darwin Awards.  If you aren’t familiar with them, it’s a list of people who do incredibly stupid stuff that gets them killed.  I don’t keep up with it regularly, but I just heard about what will surely be an entry for 2012.

A man in North Carolina drank some gasoline and then smoked a cigarette.  You’d think common sense would apply, but it didn’t.  Also, somehow he made it to 43 years old.  The man was at a friend’s apartment when he apparently mistook a jar of gasoline sitting by the kitchen sink for a beverage.  Later, he went outside to smoke and burst into flame.

That’s about all the details in the news article, but it leaves so much to question.  Here’s what I immediately think of:

1) Did he not smell the gasoline before he drank it?
2) Why was a jar of gasoline by the kitchen sink?
3) Why wouldn’t he go to the hospital after drinking gasoline?
4) Shouldn’t he have realized gasoline is highly flammable and thus smoking would be really dangerous?

If you have any potential answers to those questions, feel free to leave a comment…

Occupy Denver elected dog as leader

If he could wield a lightsaber, maybe...

For a while the “occupy” movement was getting a lot of attention, with people camping out in city parks and such.  I figure there are valid points to be made, but some of them are hard to take seriously.  For example, the Occupy Denver movement elected a Border Collie to be its leader.  The dog’s owner was inspired to do this by a speech from Michael Moore.

That’s all I know about the story, and I’m not sure it’s worth the effort to know more.  I don’t know that more details would make it more intelligible…

I just don’t get it.  Is that supposed to make some statement?  What kind of message are they giving?  Are they begging for handouts / treats?