Tag: news

plastic surgery for the dead

A growing trend in America is people buying plastic surgery for their dead relatives.  Some of the corpses are being treated with drugs like Botox to reduce wrinkles.  Is this the next big waste of money scheme?  This is stupid.

Although, I wonder if these people are afraid their relatives are going to return as zombies.  Perhaps this last-minute plastic surgery will help them look better if they return from the dead.  Because, as you might know, the undead have a history of looking very ugly and deformed.

Although, if zombies start looking like normal alive people, that could be quite dangerous!  This new trend must be stopped!

a fantastic name

A 19-year old British man has officially changed his name to “Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk And The Flash Combined”.  His previous name was George Garratt.  He changed his name by deed poll, paying the required fee, so it’s now his real legal name.

That’s kinda cool, although I think I would choose something even better.  His name doesn’t really make sense.  I mean, it’s neat to use superhero names (although the potential for a huge lawsuit just increased), but I think he could’ve come up with something better.

BTW, his grandmother is no longer talking to him.  I reckon the elders would get upset when you refuse to carry on the family name.  I suppose that’s the price you have to pay to be weird / dorky / cool-to-a-few-people.  🙂

While reading up on this, I read of a girl born in Texas in 1984 who has the name of Rhoshandiatellyneshiaunneveshenk Koyaanisquatsiuth Williams.  Yes, that is her actual name.  I wonder how old she was before she could spell it or even pronounce it!

If you were going to change your name, what would you choose?

butt implants

One of the writers here recently mentioned the growing industry of butt facials, and then the article he referenced said men haven’t taken to it so far.  That is completely understandable.  But I recently read something similar to this which disturbs me.  (Read on if you dare.)

In an article in TIME Magazine about not looking old on the job, they list some of the cosmetic surgeries common among men and women of the baby boomers generation.  I can understand wanting to look younger, especially in tech fields typically dominated by people in their 20s and 30s.  But wait ’til you read some of these.  For men, the article lists things like tooth-tightening, neck tucks, and knee-tightening.  That’s weird enough, but it gets even more crazy.  The last item mentioned is a “butt lift and implant” — for men.

I’d never heard of such craziness, and I kinda wish I had never known.  (If you feel the same way, well, too bad, because now you know.)  The article explains why a man would want this: “Slacks can’t hide a saggy, deflated tush.”  Whether true or not, I have to ask “WHO CARES?”  Do men get less promotions or job offers because of their butts?  I don’t think so.  (And if there are instances where that is true, I wouldn’t want to work there anyway!)

The article explains the procedure: “Buttock lifts (up 660% in men from 2000 to 2006) involve surgically lifting baggy behinds; implants, a newer option, mean inserting silicone sacks.”  I just have trouble believing any man would want butt implants…  I don’t know…  And guess what it costs… $4,500!

What is this world coming to?

Is it illegal to pass gas?

Is it illegal to pass gas?  Usually not, as far as I know, but a man named Jose Cruz found out otherwise.  This week, in South Charleston, West Virginia, Cruz was arrested for driving under the influence (DUI).  When police were trying to get his fingerprints back at the station, he passed gas on an officer.  Here’s what was filed in the official police report:

During processing Ptlm. Cook was taking the defendant’s fingerprints while Ptlm. Parsons was typing data into the Intoximeters 5000 machine.  Ptlm. Parsons was in a chair approx. 4-5 feet away from the fingerprinting station.   The defendant scooted the 4 feet to Ptlm. Parsons, away from officer Cook, and lifted his leg and passed gas loudly on Ptlm. Parsons.   Then defendant then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto Ptlm. Parsons.   The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Ptlm. Parsons.

Ironically, he next had to take the breath test, and he couldn’t give a sufficient sample because he was having trouble breathing.  🙂

For doing all that, they charged him with “battery on an officer” and “obstructing an officer”.  I realize no one wants to be farted on, but is it really a criminal offense?   Did the officer think it was chemical warfare?   (Maybe it’s psychological warfare.)  Two days later, police dropped the charges relating to his flatulence.

Although, now that I think about it, the police were just trying to maintain law and odor.  🙂