public approval rating going down

Here at Buffet o’ Blog we usually don’t dabble in politics, unless it’s funny or satire / irony.  Today we have an editorial by chief important political correspondent, T. Wayne Ledbetter, Esq.  Can you find the humor in this, or at least write something funny in response to it?

In the past few weeks, several U.S. Senators have been holding town hall meetings to discuss the national health care plan, and they’ve been met with some major opposition.   Some citizens are quite angry about the idea of a socialism-style health care system, along with the massive cost that will be passed along to future generations.

President Barack Obama is keeping track of all this public opposition, and thus the public’s approval rating is going down in his eyes.  Surely Obama sits at his Oval Office desk and sighs all the time at how many people just don’t like his plans.  He must be wondering why the average Joe isn’t interested in socialism, when it’s for our own good.  “The American people don’t know what they want,” he probably mutters to himself, ever determined to force his plans upon the unsuspecting masses.

It may seem like Obama’s plans will all be passed without question, with the Democrats having a majority in Congress and the economy is a debacle (so people want change), but his future plans are not guaranteed yet.   If the Senators continue to meet with the American public and thus hear what people really think, they run the risk of getting back in touch with reality and realizing what their constituents actually expect.  And if enough people make their opinions heard, the Senators will be forced to take notice, because what is most important to them is remaining in power.  If they fear losing a significant number of votes and thus losing their seat, they will do what is necessary.

The current administration is aware of this danger to their radical plans, so they’ve begun to label the opposition in generalized, stereotyped, derogatory groups, like “right-wing extremists”.  They must isolate any public dissension to crazy people.  They have even asked for people to call the White House with the names of people who speak out against Obama’s socialistic vision.  They must not let this moment slip away, for American is at a crossroads created by a perfect storm of economic distress, an unwinnable war, rumors of man-made global warming and the need to go “green”, and discontent of “politics as usual” by the American people.  This crossroads offers the perfect chance to push through extreme legislation, as we have seen with the stimulus package and the omnibus bill and bailouts, which were rushed so fast through Congress that most of our representatives never had time to even read it!

Obama knows the current stakes, and he realizes he must seize this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take control of America’s future, and he must act quickly.  If the great unwashed masses realize he is pushing for European-style socialism, his plans will fail.  He must make these changes under the guise of making everything better, and he must proceed with great haste.  With the public’s approval rating going down (in his eyes), time is running out.  Some of the mainstream media are even beginning to criticize him — even beyond FOX News.  Obama sits in his comfy executive chair, perplexed, wondering how mainstream reporters can question his grandiose plans.  Isn’t dissent of the President unpatriotic?  How could anyone be critical (beyond those crazy right-wing extremists, who only want to save the foundation our country was built on)?

Obama - PerceptionDuring a moment of brief reflection, perhaps Obama gives pause to his plans of changing America, and he begins to wonder if former President George W. Bush ever felt this discombobulated.  But those thoughts are fleeting, because he reckons the situation was irreconcilably different.  The media was obviously justified in hating Bush, in denigrating everything about him, in exaggerating the blame that should be cast upon him.  It was patriotic for the far-left media to hate on Bush, because he was… conservative.  There was nothing historic and momentous about his presidency.  He was too experienced, and his election wasn’t anything unique, and he didn’t take America in all these new radical directions.  His tenure in Washington was boring, except for all the humor and satire created about him.  But Obama, he’s historic, and he has a huge vision of change (even if nobody knew what the change would be during the campaign, it was change, so it must be good).  And Obama has the support of most of the mainstream media, so he must be doing things right.  Right?

As I wrap up this long piece of political satire, it is now up to you to ponder what was said, to see if you can determine what was satire and what is actually happening.  Was I just rambling incoherently, or did I actually have any thought-provoking points to make?   Was there any political humor in there, or was it depressing?  The end result is up to you.   I ramble, you decide.   🙂

stupid lawsuit over a comet

Do you remember when NASA fired a space probe at a comet and hit it?  This was a $333 million mission called “Deep Impact”.  It was very impressive that they were able to hit the comet because it was moving at 23,000 mph.  NASA plans to study the debris generated to hopefully learn how the solar system was formed.

This was a few years ago, so it’s not exactly news, but I just found out something else about it.  A woman named Marina Bai sued the U.S. Space Agency over the mission, claiming it “ruins the natural balance of forces in the universe” and thus would “deform her horoscope”.  She sued for $300 million, for her “moral sufferings”.  (I wonder how bad $300,000,000 worth of “moral sufferings” would feel; I can’t say I’ve ever felt that bad.)

By now, you’ve probably already realized this is a stupid lawsuit.  But it gets even better — the comet in reference, 9P / Tempel, doesn’t actually appear on the horoscope!

So obviously this woman was just making all this up to get rich, but these frivolous lawsuits clog up the justice system (which is already inconceivably slow) and waste taxpayers’ money as well as time and money from the people being sued for no reason.  So can someone sue that woman for being stupid?  Although, on second thought, the ability to sue people for being stupid would overwhelm the court system even more, so perhaps some limits would need to be put in place…

Why is the economy still a debacle?

As you know, the U.S. economy has been in bad shape for a while now, and the government just issued a $700 billion bailout to fix the mess.  But I’m hearing in the news that things are still bad on the economic front.  I don’t understand…

I realize these corporations are huge and complicated, but how long should it take to feel the effects of billions of dollars?  I can envision it helping really quick.  (Just imagine if you were given a billion dollars, how long it would take to fix your economic problems.)

The government gave these billions of dollars to the financial experts, the people who have been in the industry for years, the people who run the critical companies — the mortgage lenders, the big banks, the insurers, the credit card issuers, etc.  These are the people who have the authority in their companies to make the difficult decisions, to make a difference.  These people are paid big bucks to know what they’re doing.  These people are… um… the people who… uhh… got us into this mess in the first place…  OH, NO!  WHAT HAVE WE DONE???

extending my truck’s factory warranty

I got a card in the mail recently which caught my attention.   I get plenty of junk mail and spam-type offers, and this fits in with that, but it was unusual, partly because of my particular circumstances.  The front of the card said:

FINAL NOTICE
Factory Warranty Expiration

This card came from a company called “Dealers Warranty”, which sounds like a very generic name.

The back of the card said, “This is to inform you that this is your FINAL NOTICE to extend the warranty coverage on your vehicle.”

How considerate of them!  I thought about calling them to let them know that my truck is 22 years old, and the factory warranty expired a long, LONG time ago.  But they wanted my exact mileage and VIN#, which I decided I’d rather not share with what appears to be a shady organization.  Do they just send these things out to everybody?  How’d they get my name?  I’ve never even bought a new vehicle!  This definitely sounds like a scam…

I even had a “Customer ID” on the card, which seems quite odd…