Saving America While Playing Video Games

It’s hard to save the world. So let’s start with saving America. It’s hard to save, too, of course, but I have a plan. Now, if you’re a regular patron of Buffet o’ Blog, you might think this will be silly randomness, but there is an actual actionable plan here layered amongst the randomness. That may seem to not go together, but part of the reason most people don’t save the world is because it is so difficult and it’s hard to think of something you can do that will make a difference. It may seem like there’s not any easy solutions, because most of the “low hanging fruit” of ideas have already been thought of. That’s where thinking outside the box (AKA randomness) helps. But that’s enough intro — let’s get to the meat and potatoes (and gravy — don’t forget the gravy!).

The United States of America is slowly running out of potable water. (Here, potable means safe to drink.) Here’s a link to read about how serious that is and what it all means: Why is America running out of water? Long story short (or TL;DR in modern parlance), it means if we don’t start conserving clean water, we will have major shortages of drinking water. The current filtering process at sewage treatment plants is slow and costly and ineffective. The last part is critical, because current “real-time” filtering methods cannot remove many chemicals like caffeine and medications. We can’t have random medications and drugs in our drinking water — that would get bad quick. You may be wondering about the natural way of filtering water — nature. Of course it is great, but it takes time, and the problem is that America is using water faster than it’s being replenished by nature (and droughts out west hurt this, too). If we the people don’t find a solution on our own, the government will have to force people to conserve water. (We’re already seeing this in Nevada, where lawns in some places are being banned. And the government just announced a deal to get Arizona, California, and Nevada to conserve large amounts of water in exchange for $1.2 billion.)

That’s a lot of seriousness above, probably more than is allowed in a post here, but I want you to know this is a serious problem affecting our country that is on a path to get much worse. So how can we do anything about that by playing video games? The answer has to do with America’s #1 crop. Can you guess the plan yet? It’s not about farming. The number one crop in America is lawns. Millions of people grow lawns. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But it is a luxury — that is, it’s nonessential. Now, I’m not suggesting we get rid of our lawns. I enjoy playing in my yard with my kids. But here’s the angle on it — how green does it need to be? And to tie this with the problem above (don’t forget about the upcoming water shortage), how often do you need to water your yard?

Here’s an article explaining the cost of keeping your yard really green using water and fertilizer. Summary: “grass lawns consume nearly 3 trillion gallons of water a year, 200 million gallons of gas (for all that mowing), and 70 million pounds of pesticides.” Those are some big numbers! You may be tempted to think, “What difference does it make if one person changes their lifestyle?” Well, those big numbers are the total of adding up what each individual person does. We have to start somewhere, and if each person in America conserved merely one gallon per day, it would add up to over 121 billion gallons of water in a year. That would make a huge difference! But if we choose to think it’s not our problem, then the next generation — our children — will have a serious problem to deal with.

I’m not suggesting we let our yards die, but they don’t need to be watered every day or every other day or while it’s raining (which I’ve seen). By watering less often (or not at all), we save billions of gallons of clean water each summer. (On a related note, there is now a push even among lawn designers to leave more weeds because they have an environmental purpose.)

Now what do video games have to do with this? Well, if we water less (or not at all), our yard will grow slower. That’s basic science there. Last year I followed my own advice, and I didn’t even turn on the automatic sprinklers. My front yard didn’t stay as green as my neighbors’ yards during the hot parts of the summer when we don’t get much rain. It certainly didn’t look like a golf course, all well-manicured and dark green. And that’s okay. I didn’t have to mow as often, which was nice. And I was conserving water (and gasoline, too).

Wait, I still didn’t get to the video games! I won’t forget! By mowing less often, that frees up several evenings during the summer. So what will you do with that new free time? Playing video games sounds like fun! Of course, you could use that free time to do other chores, but here’s the problem with that mindset. 1) American adults are typically overworked and stressed already, and video games help with that. 2) If I suggested you could help save America by doing other household chores, you might not be interested in that. Do you really want to save America by cleaning your baseboards more often? Probably not for most people. The key is to make it fun, something people want to do! Would you play more video games if it helped save our great country? You don’t have to be a super zealous patriot to realize that’s a good deal.

So who is with me on this?

paper made from elephant poop

Did you know that some paper is made from elephant poop?  ‘Tis true!  It’s called “elephant dung paper”.  Who would’ve thought of doing this?  Here’s the story:

The man behind the paper is Mr. Wanchai. On his way home from work he used to pass a natural paper factory and was impressed at the simplicity of the process that used natural tree fibers to make high quality hand made paper. He then took a trip to the Thai Elephant Conservation Center in Lampang Northern Thailand and saw piles and piles of dung. He looked at the dung and noticed that the dung was very fibrous. This was the birth of the idea.

The next step was to take home a carload of dung to his house. His wife was amused and at this stage very patient. Try as he could he could not get the paper just right. He used the family food processor to cut the long fibers to a shorter length — his wife finally lost her patience.

I can see someone getting upset with putting poop in the food processor.  I’d be leery of using it for food ever again, no matter how much cleaning.  Anyway, as you might imagine, he eventually figured out the process, and now sells it.  You can read more at the official website: the history of Elephant Dung Paper.

This is good for the environment, I reckon — they’re taking waste and making a useful product with it.  And each elephant produces enough poop for about 115 sheets of paper a day.

That isn’t the only company that does this, either.  There’s another one that makes “Poo Poo Paper“.  They use “naturally dried elephant dung”, then they rinse it off, then put it in boiling water, then add some fruit fibers, then separate it into “cakes” or “wafers”, and then let it dry.  They can make about 25 large sheets of paper from one turd.

Would you buy Poo Poo Paper or Elephant Dung Paper to help save the environment?

the special days of June, pt 2

Now we’re going to continue our look at the special days / holidays / celebrations / observations of June.  These are the daily holidays.

1 Dare Day — I dare you to read this blog every day for a month and then try to truthfully tell me it’s not funny.  🙂

1 Flip a Coin Day — Uhh, why is this a holiday?

2 National Bubba Day — Why do people named Bubba get their own holiday?  I should get my own holiday.  It could be called National Beppo Day.  🙂

2 National Rocky Road Day — I’m going to assume this is talking about ice cream and not bumpy pavement.

3 Egg Day — You can make a number of good meals with eggs, like omelets, cakes, cookies, etc.  Or you can just cook them and have some bacon and/or sausage on the side, as part of a balanced breakfast.  🙂

4 Cheese Day — Ah, the power of cheese!  You may think that’s just some gimmicky promotional phrase for commercials, but think about it — cheese makes the world a better place.  And cheese can make your day better.  In fact, today I had lunch at my favorite restaurant and was treated to a free large cheese dip.  It certainly made the day better.  🙂

4 First Ford Made — This isn’t really a holiday, but more of a remembrance.  The first operational car was made in 1896.  Can you imagine life without vehicles?

4 Applesauce Cake Day — What?  I’ve never heard of an applesauce cake.  Have you ever had one?  Hopefully it’s not just a cake made with applesauce.  If so, then it doesn’t deserve its own holiday.

4 Hug Your Cat Day — If you don’t have a cat, I guess you’re just left out of this one.  Although June is adopt-a-cat month…

4 Old Maid’s Day — This is a day for the single ladies who aren’t getting any younger.  Here’s to all the fair maidens who are still waiting on Mr. Right.  Although, is a fair maiden the same as an old maid?  I don’t think I should continue this discussion…  🙂

5 World Environment Day — Today you should be thankful that we have an environment in this world, and that it’s habitable.  We take it for granted, but we have the best environment among all the other planets in our solar system.  Earth’s environment is much better than Mars.  We’ve discussed this before, and living on Mars would be worse than you expect.

6 National Doughnut Day — This is a good reason for a holiday.  Donuts are scrumptious.  I prefer the chocolate-filled variety.  Also worth mentioning is the infamous Krispy Kreme doughnuts, particularly right after the come off the assembly line.  They almost melt in your mouth when they’re still hot and fresh.  Mmm…

6 National Gardening Exercise Day — One website that listed this holiday suggested you “get out and exercise with your plants”.  WHAT?  Who came up with that?  This is just silly.

7 National Chocolate Ice Cream Day — Now we’re back to a good holiday.  I don’t have to tell you how good chocolate ice cream is.  And if all you have is vanilla ice cream, you can get some Oreos and crumble them up in there, or add Hershey’s syrup to it, or both.  My research has proven that all three together is awesome.

8 Name Your Poison Day — Some people use this phrase to ask how you’d like to die.  Personally, I plan to live forever.  (So far, so good!)  So I’m not participating in this holiday at all.

10 Iced Tea Day — It’s already National Iced Tea Month, so I don’t know why we need an individual day for it.  If you’re already drinking extra tea for the month holiday, I guess you can drink even more tea on this day.  Just don’t stray too far from a bathroom if you’re drinking 2 to 3 times your normal amount of tea.

12 Red Rose Day — Again, this is already Rose Month, which I don’t care about.  But if you want to buy some red roses this day for your wife/girlfriend, you might could get a good deal on them (as opposed to February, when the price is run up because of Valentine’s Day).

13 Blame Someone Else Day — This holiday is always the first Friday the 13th of the year, so it’s not always in June.  But this year it is, so here goes.  I don’t think this needs to be a holiday, because so many people already do this on a regular basis, and it’s destroying our country.  Folks need to learn to take personal responsibility, especially our politicians.

15 Smile Power Day — Smiling is good for you.  And it helps those around you, too.  But I should add a caveat — some people say it’s easier to smile than to frown, which may be true, but it’s not the whole story — it’s actually easier to look like you don’t care.  🙂  But really, smiling is healthy for you, along with laughing.  That’s why this blog exists.

This is getting long, so I’m going to finish this in the next post.  Click here to search for the other entries for June.

aerosols reduce global warming

In an online discussion of global warming and whether or not man caused it, I found something interesting :

Between 1961 and 1990 (actually it’s more like 1940-1970), there was not a cooling. There was a halt of global warming. There is evidence that this was caused by aerosols. However, it is difficult to prove with any certainty.

And think about this — in the 1990s, the government started banning aerosols.  (That might’ve helped the decline of the ’80s “big hair” debacle.)  So when aerosols went down, global warming increased.  If that correlation is true, then I’m going to start spraying aerosols to offset all this global warming!  Now, to some of you, that may sound boring, but that means you’ve never sprayed an aerosol towards an open flame such as a lighter.  You have an instant flamethrower.  I’ve always wanted to build a flamethrower.  I might also look into building a jetpack based on the burning of aerosols.  That way I could get around quickly and save the environment!

Yep, I think it’s time for the Buffet o’ Blog Research & Development department to start building a flamethrower and jetpack using aerosols.  Both of these products would sell on their own, but if they’ll reduce global warming, then they’d sell like hotcakes (or better, even).  I wonder what Al Gore will think about this?  Maybe I’ll make my own movie and make millions…