Saving America While Playing Video Games

It’s hard to save the world. So let’s start with saving America. It’s hard to save, too, of course, but I have a plan. Now, if you’re a regular patron of Buffet o’ Blog, you might think this will be silly randomness, but there is an actual actionable plan here layered amongst the randomness. That may seem to not go together, but part of the reason most people don’t save the world is because it is so difficult and it’s hard to think of something you can do that will make a difference. It may seem like there’s not any easy solutions, because most of the “low hanging fruit” of ideas have already been thought of. That’s where thinking outside the box (AKA randomness) helps. But that’s enough intro — let’s get to the meat and potatoes (and gravy — don’t forget the gravy!).

The United States of America is slowly running out of potable water. (Here, potable means safe to drink.) Here’s a link to read about how serious that is and what it all means: Why is America running out of water? Long story short (or TL;DR in modern parlance), it means if we don’t start conserving clean water, we will have major shortages of drinking water. The current filtering process at sewage treatment plants is slow and costly and ineffective. The last part is critical, because current “real-time” filtering methods cannot remove many chemicals like caffeine and medications. We can’t have random medications and drugs in our drinking water — that would get bad quick. You may be wondering about the natural way of filtering water — nature. Of course it is great, but it takes time, and the problem is that America is using water faster than it’s being replenished by nature (and droughts out west hurt this, too). If we the people don’t find a solution on our own, the government will have to force people to conserve water. (We’re already seeing this in Nevada, where lawns in some places are being banned. And the government just announced a deal to get Arizona, California, and Nevada to conserve large amounts of water in exchange for $1.2 billion.)

That’s a lot of seriousness above, probably more than is allowed in a post here, but I want you to know this is a serious problem affecting our country that is on a path to get much worse. So how can we do anything about that by playing video games? The answer has to do with America’s #1 crop. Can you guess the plan yet? It’s not about farming. The number one crop in America is lawns. Millions of people grow lawns. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But it is a luxury — that is, it’s nonessential. Now, I’m not suggesting we get rid of our lawns. I enjoy playing in my yard with my kids. But here’s the angle on it — how green does it need to be? And to tie this with the problem above (don’t forget about the upcoming water shortage), how often do you need to water your yard?

Here’s an article explaining the cost of keeping your yard really green using water and fertilizer. Summary: “grass lawns consume nearly 3 trillion gallons of water a year, 200 million gallons of gas (for all that mowing), and 70 million pounds of pesticides.” Those are some big numbers! You may be tempted to think, “What difference does it make if one person changes their lifestyle?” Well, those big numbers are the total of adding up what each individual person does. We have to start somewhere, and if each person in America conserved merely one gallon per day, it would add up to over 121 billion gallons of water in a year. That would make a huge difference! But if we choose to think it’s not our problem, then the next generation — our children — will have a serious problem to deal with.

I’m not suggesting we let our yards die, but they don’t need to be watered every day or every other day or while it’s raining (which I’ve seen). By watering less often (or not at all), we save billions of gallons of clean water each summer. (On a related note, there is now a push even among lawn designers to leave more weeds because they have an environmental purpose.)

Now what do video games have to do with this? Well, if we water less (or not at all), our yard will grow slower. That’s basic science there. Last year I followed my own advice, and I didn’t even turn on the automatic sprinklers. My front yard didn’t stay as green as my neighbors’ yards during the hot parts of the summer when we don’t get much rain. It certainly didn’t look like a golf course, all well-manicured and dark green. And that’s okay. I didn’t have to mow as often, which was nice. And I was conserving water (and gasoline, too).

Wait, I still didn’t get to the video games! I won’t forget! By mowing less often, that frees up several evenings during the summer. So what will you do with that new free time? Playing video games sounds like fun! Of course, you could use that free time to do other chores, but here’s the problem with that mindset. 1) American adults are typically overworked and stressed already, and video games help with that. 2) If I suggested you could help save America by doing other household chores, you might not be interested in that. Do you really want to save America by cleaning your baseboards more often? Probably not for most people. The key is to make it fun, something people want to do! Would you play more video games if it helped save our great country? You don’t have to be a super zealous patriot to realize that’s a good deal.

So who is with me on this?

you can help us prevent hurricanes

A while back I wrote an article about how to prevent hurricanes.  It’s been a really popular post lately, and for good reason — Hurricane Isaac was recently causing a swath of destruction along its path through the southern U.S.

Hurricane Isaac in 2012

The article explained some ways to prevent hurricanes, but there has been a noticeable lack of funds coming in.  So obviously investors either haven’t found it, or they didn’t take it seriously.  I realize the presentation could’ve been made in a more “professional” manner.  It started off with some rambling (also known as digressing), and some of the ideas were intentionally over-the-top for fun.  But I make no apologies for the format — this is a humor blog, after all.  Even when legitimate ideas are released into the blogosphere, they are accompanied with humor.  That’s just how I roll.  (Well, I do have a serious blog, and it could’ve went there, but then I would’ve had to edit out the randomness, and what’s the fun in that?)

The last idea was actually somewhat viable, though.  It could make a difference in so many ways.  Obviously we wouldn’t cover the entire Sahara desert with solar panels, but we’d have to make only a something-eight percent difference to improve the current status quo.  And as the post explains, this would reduce global warming AND save money from hurricane damages AND be a clean, green, unlimited, renewable energy solution.  So what’s the problem?  All we need is appropriate funding (and by appropriate I mean a LOT, like billions of dollars), but it would pay for itself many times over.

There may be some people who worry about tampering with Mother Nature, and there are valid concerns to address, but we’ve been doing it for years already.  If things do change for the negative somehow, people will just blame labels like “Global Warming” and “Climate Change” (partly because it gives them political power and enables them to raise taxes with the cleverly named “Cap and Trade”, but I’d better not rant on that or I will surely digress).  Besides, there are solar panels already installed in the southwest U.S., and nobody complains about that changing the weather.

It’s important that we focus on the key initiative here, and that is to solve numerous global problems at once.  Well, that and make billions of dollars in profit.  But as the saying goes, it takes money to make money.  And it takes money to save the world, unless you’ve got super powers like Superman.  However none of us are Superman, and as far as I know, no one on the Buffet o’ Blog staff has any of the super powers of Superman (or we’d know, because it would be awesome to use them).  So we need investment funding, which is another way of saying “send us your money”.  We’ll send you an official certificate saying you contributed to saving the world.  Plus you’ll feel all warm and toasty inside, and you’ll help extend the life of the Earth, and you can’t put a dollar value on that.

how the Grand Canyon formed

I saw a TV show on the History Channel that explained how the Grand Canyon was formed.  They said that many billions of years ago, that area was a massive mountain range, with peaks higher than the Himalaya Mountains.  I can believe that, at least the mountain part.  But then the story went in an unexpected direction.

These mountains were covered by the ocean at least 8 times.  I can easily believe they were at least once, but what do I know?  But then the mountain range flattened out, into flatlands.  There were no mountains, no valleys, and no canyons.   Then the land rose up, kinda like how mountains are formed from plate tectonics, but it didn’t create mountains — all the land rose up in that area.  (Can you picture that?   And can you believe that?)

To get the canyon-forming process under way, there was a giant lake, and it overflowed.   That’s what formed the Colorado River.   The lake is long gone, but the river still flows (obviously).  And over the past 5.5 million years, the water carved out the Grand Canyon.

Now you know.  Or well, you know what some scientists think happened.  The question is, are they right?  Parts of the story are believable, although I’m having trouble with the whole area of land rising evenly.  But either way, it’s interesting to think about.

I like watching these types of shows, because it challenges how I think.  It also gives me ideas on how to create my own Grand Canyon, so I can have a great view like that and make millions of dollars from tourism.  I’ll need to speed up the process, plus extend my life for a few years.   But I already plan to live forever — so far so good!  🙂

Anyway, back to reality, let me make a serious point (if the editor-at-large will allow that).   If the Grand Canyon was covered by ocean at least 8 times, who is to say it shouldn’t ever happen again?  And those things don’t just happen randomly.  There had to be some sort of… um… climate change… to cause such a massive event.   And probably not one or two degrees.  I’m just saying…