National Doughnut Day

It has come to my attention that today is National Doughnut Day.  It is the first Friday of June each year.  Given how many special holidays there already are, you might think the day was created solely because donuts are awesome.  While that is sufficient reason, it goes even deeper.  The holiday was started in 1938 to honor the tradition of the Salvation Army providing donuts to soldiers during World War I.

Some doughnut shops give away a free donut on this day, so that might be worth checking out.  Even the cheapest of donuts — typically a simple glazed one — is great.  And while you’re there, you might as well pick up a chocolate-filled donut.  (It still boggles my mind that Krispy Kreme doesn’t sell a chocolate-filled donut, which is the best kind!  It’s stupefying!  It’s inconceivable!)

In case you aren’t aware, Krispy Kreme stores that make the donuts will sometimes give away a free glazed donut fresh off the assembly line, and that alone might be worth the trip.  The donut almost melts in your mouth with warm, yummy goodness.  (It’s probably a good thing the closest one is 30 miles away for me, or I’d be there too often.)

BTW, if you are a grammar perfectionist who is about to leave a scathing comment about how my spelling of donut changed, realize I chose to use both spellings interchangeably.  It’s my prerogative.  (And it’s also a good strategy from a search engine perspective.)

There are a number of special days and holidays each month, which have been discussed here at Buffet o’ Blog.  For example, here’s the one for June.

caption contest, face with strange painting

I know it’s inconceivable that our weekly caption contest could be late, but there was a holiday, and I had company, and I had stuff to do…  (I could give more excuses if you want, but then this might be even later, and then it would be your fault that it’s late, and it’s not like I need more excuses.)

Anyway, here it is.  The photo features a person wearing lots of makeup.  No context is given, so you get to make it up.  There’s also not much going on, so you might have to provide a backstory or flashback or exposition.  Here’s some potential ideas: Is it war paint?  Is it a gang sign?  Is it some new, trendy style of makeup?  Is it someone you know?  Was it a prank?  What will happen next?

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

How was the end of the world for you?

Did you know the world ended last Saturday?  I heard it was guaranteed.  Apparently God didn’t get the memo.

So basically there’s a “preacher” named Harold Camping who uses mathematical calculations supposedly based on the Bible to figure out when the Rapture and Apocalypse will happen.  He figured it would be May 21, 2011.  He’s not just your average garden-variety fruitcake, though.  He is rumored to have spent about $100 million advertising his “prophecy”.  He promoted it on 55 radio stations and 2000 billboards, plus all the free news coverage he got for it.

As you might have noticed, there was a lack of end-of-the-world events last weekend.  Seemed quite normal to me.  I thought maybe I just slept through it, but it seems like it would’ve been on the news had something of such epic proportions actually happened.  So it’s probably safe to say this guy was wrong.

In this day of extended news coverage, of course reporters asked this guy what happened.  How do you think he responded?

A) Admitted his mistake and apologized.
B) Said it was (another) miscalculation.
C) Blame it on Global Warming or Bush.
D) Pretend he was still right.

Well, A would’ve been the ideal thing to do, but that didn’t happen.  B is what he’s done before.  C is what some people do on all kinds of topics, whether it applies or not.  D is the craziest option, though that’s exactly what he did.  Camping said his dates were correct, that it was “an invisible judgment day” and the final judgment and destruction will happen on October 21, 2011.  He also said we cannot understand the Bible, which I thought was really ironic because he claims to be basing his “prophecies” on the Bible.  (Never mind that his prediction is unscriptural; he must have missed that verse.)

I heard of a humorous tweet about the whole thing:

If this Rapture doesn’t get started soon, my rental Ferrari demolition derby last night wasn’t as fun as I thought. ~ David Burge, 5/21/11

My favorite response so far to all the hullabaloo is this billboard that someone made after the doomsday prediction was proven false.  This is awesome.

Well played…

caption contest, crazy man on woodpile

This week’s caption contest is strange and unusual, and it borders on inappropriate.  So if you’re easily offended, you’ve been warned, and you could just skip this one.  Basically, the picture is of an older naked man sitting on a pile of wood.  Well, he has boots on and he’s holding a pan, so you don’t see anything, but still, it’s gross.  There’s a woman in the foreground who looks very agitated, along with a woman in the background who looks like she’s trying to stop something from happening.  Overall, it’s crazy-mad weird.

I’ve been posting these caption contests for a long time now, and I have to tell you, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on in this picture.  So it’s up to you to figure out something funny to explain this photo.  And since the image is quite crazy to start with, your story probably can’t be too crazy for it.  So get creative.

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)