our new contact form

We have just upgraded our blog technologies to include a contact form.  It’s located on the “Contact us” page, which is linked in the sidebar.  From there, you can send us an e-mail, asking any question you’d like.  There’s no guarantee we’ll answer every question, but we’ll do what we can.  So if there’s anything you’d like to know more about, just ask.

You can see more details on the “Contact us” page.

FYI, this is a humor site (if you haven’t noticed somehow), so any answers may be humor-related.  You may still ask serious questions, though.  Or you may ask silly questions.  We accept all kinds.  So ask away!

downloading cheese dip through the Internet

Wouldn’t it be great if you could download cheese dip through the Internet?  You could just put a bowl of tortilla chips in front of your USB port, then download some cheese dip.  You’d need broadband, I’m sure, and you’d need some type of tubes for it to go through.  But according to senator Ted Stevens, the Internet runs on tubes.  So maybe we’re not that far from it…

Yeah, instead of a USB port, you could have a USC port — Unlimited Stream of Cheese.  🙂

Somebody should make this happen*.  I’d pay a couple extra bucks a month to get unlimited cheese dip!  Just imagine — cheese dip on-demand!

* I realize there’s some technical complications, but there’s some really smart people out there.  The people who say it can’t be done should get out of the way of the people trying to make this happen.  🙂

National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Month

grilled cheese sandwichApril is National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Month.  Mmm… grilled cheese sammiches!  Gooey cheesiness on the inside, yet slighty crispy on the outside.  In addition to butter and cheese, you can put Miracle Whip inside it, too, which gives it a little extra tanginess.  Good stuff.

I realize this isn’t the healthiest of meals, and many people are trying to watch their weight by not eating stuff like this.  But it’s a national holiday, so you have to eat it.  At least eat one this month…  If you don’t, it’s just not patriotic… well, it’s at least doing a dishonor to grilled cheese sandwiches if you intentionally neglect the holiday.  You don’t want to be dishonorable, do you?

FYI, you can make these in a waffle iron, which does a pretty good job.  We did this a lot in the college years.  And Cheetos go well with it.  And sweet tea is the beverage of choice.  (For some reason I’m getting hungry…)

dealing with too much gas

I just received an e-mail from the indiscriminate Thomas Wayne, who would like some advice on a situation he is facing.

I had pizza last night, and it was excellent, but today I have lots of gas.  Excessive amounts, even.  But I work in a cubicle / cube farm, and some of my coworkers don’t appreciate the novelty of a rank fart.  And it’s not convenient to go to the bathroom every time I need to rip one — that would take way too much time (plus I’m lazy).  Also, I’ve heard that repressing your farts is bad for your health.  So what are my options?

Does anyone have any suggestions for Thomas Wayne in dealing with his exorbitant levels of flatulence?