tennis for fat people

I was watching some of the 2009 U.S. Open tennis tournament with a friend, and we were discussing whether it would be interesting to have a tennis league for fat people.  There would be requirements to enter, such as being above a certain weight and a certain percentage of body fat.  The court surface would be the somewhat-flexible surface used at the Australian Open, so people can roll if they fall down from getting too much momentum during running.

The players could get sponsorships from junk food makers like Hostess.  Imagine the press conference afterwards, with players eating Twinkies during their post-match interview.  The advertising message would be “I can eat Twinkies and still win tennis matches!”

Also, more people could relate to this brand of tennis than the professional tours.  Plus it would be funny sometimes.  So I think some people would watch it.  This might not be a prime-time TV type sport, but there are lots of sports that get time on ESPN2 and various other sports channels.  Someone should make it happen.

caption contest, adults racing tricycles

It’s Monday again, so you’re probably expecting another caption contest.  And I’m happy to oblige.  But I am curious about the lack of typical Monday traffic.  There were about 60-70 percent fewer pageviews today.  I know, it was Labor Day, so people were busy not laboring.  I’m going to suppose the traffic was down because people were busy relaxing or grilling or out on vacation, that it’s not because people mainly check it from work.  🙂  But either way, I’m thankful for the traffic, so I’ll quit rambling about that now.

This week’s photo features a group of adults riding tricycles.  I really have no idea what’s going on here.   But who needs context?  We don’t for this, because we get to write our own!   It’s up to you, my awesome readers, to write a funny explanation for this picture.  As always, you get to choose your own context, perspective, setting, etc.  You can write dialog for the people in the picture, or you can write commentary / analysis of what’s going on.  The only general guidelines are to make it funny and keep it clean.

guys racing tricycles

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

tasty animals more likely to be eaten

In the news last month, Discovery published an article that concluded that bad-tasting animals were less likely to be eaten than good-tasting animals.  It seems like that should be obvious…

The researchers concluded this by studying chemical compounds and by coating certain animals with bitter-tasting substances to see which were chosen.   That methodology may have its place, but it seems like part of the research should’ve involved grilling lots of animals to see which taste better, then look at what humans have been fond of eating, whether taste is the primary motivation.  This test should also involve copious amounts of gravy.  🙂

steak-and-milk-gravyThis link was sent in by Turtle Dundee, who happens to be an expert in the field of tasty animals and who already knew this information before reading the article.  Perhaps he should publish some of his research on tasty animals…

On a side note, while looking for pictures of steak with gravy, many of the pictures didn’t have enough gravy.   I know some parts of the country do things differently, but if there’s one thing we in the South know about, it’s frying food and making gravy with it.  So let me make this clear: the gravy should cover the entire portion of the meat (and mashed potatoes too!).   If that’s too much for some people, serve it on the side, or have the dish include unlimited gravy.  Just don’t serve a chicken-fried steak with only enough gravy for half of it.  That just ain’t right!

country fried steak with little gravy, green beansAlso, many of the pictures included vegetables like green beans, celery, lettuce, or broccoli.  To each their own, I suppose, but I’m a “meat ‘n taters” type of guy.   Adding “green” to the picture doesn’t make it look more appealing — just add more meat, more taters, and more gravy, and that will impress people.

On another side note, I had a small, healthy lunch today, and all this talk of gravy is making me incredibly hungry!  I know there’s a lot of great foods out there, but you just can’t top a meal of fried chicken, mashed taters, biscuits, and milk gravy.  (And of course Southern-style sweet tea should be served with this meal, but that should go without saying.)

a new perfect day to be outside holiday

The past few days have had near-perfect weather, particularly after summer when it’s too hot with too much humidity.  I’ve heard several people say it’s too good of weather to be inside working, and I’ve had that thought myself.  So what we need to start is a floating holiday for each Spring and Fall that’s based on the weather.  At least once each season, when the weather is perfect, everyone should get the day off to do whatever they want outside.  Various groups could sponsor pick-up games for sports, where people could just show up and play ball (football, basketball, baseball, tennis, etc.), and there could be picnics and tail-gate parties (because grilling would be ideal at these times).

Somebody needs to make this happen…  (Hint: If one of our state representatives were to get this started, I’m sure they would pick up some votes for actually doing something cool that the people want.)