I usually don’t discuss politics much here, but this is a topic that will attempt to be funny and contain facts you probably don’t know. It may also include a political rant or two, so if you can’t stand political criticism, click here to go to a random post or here for a post with an idea for creating a holiday for enjoying life.
President Donald Trump is bringing back the “Presidential Fitness Test”, which sounds like a great idea until you realize (or remember) that this is for schoolchildren. I saw an article suggesting one condition for bringing back the fitness test that requires children to run a mile and do sit-ups and pull-ups. It’s an amusing read: Trump brings back dreaded Presidential Fitness Test. Let’s see him run a mile.
They suggest requiring Trump to take the test and make it a pay-per-view event, which will surely raise a lot of money to help pay down the national debt (which is being increased by Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”). This is a great idea. It’ll never happen, though. Donald Trump tells people how strong and fit he is, because he tries his best to always control the story, the narrative. His mantra on this:
Stick with us. Don’t believe the crap you see from these people, the fake news. … What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening. ~ Donald Trump, 7/25/18
Don’t believe what you see or what others say — just follow him. Hear the propaganda, drink the Kool-Aid… (Not that it ALL is, but there are definitely some lies being told repeatedly to manipulate people.) He tries to craft his own version of reality, and sadly, some of the conservative news networks go along with his fabrications and don’t report the truth.
Anyway, Donald Trump is 79 years old now, and he has never been into fitness. He plays golf — A LOT (24% of his days in office, and we’re paying for it) — but that’s not too athletic. He believes that exercise is misguided, that your life is like a battery and you have a finite amount of energy. Science doesn’t agree with that. Also, if he is against exercise and thinks it makes you die earlier, why is he mandating it for children? (We ask, you decide.)
Now let me share some historical facts about presidents you probably didn’t learn in school:
George Washington was an accomplished collar-and-elbow wrestler. (Some wrestling scholars claim that, during the Revolutionary War, a forty-seven-year-old Washington took down seven Massachusetts militiamen in a row.) Nixon, meanwhile, was a football scrub—“cannon fodder,” a teammate called him. … In his rail-splitting young-lawyer days, Lincoln is said to have gone 300–1 in free-for-all wrestling matches against tough guys across the Midwest. In 1992, he was inducted into the National Wrestling Hall of Fame; some credit him with inventing the choke slam.
John F. Kennedy published an article in Sports Illustrated with a public-fitness challenge of marching fifty miles in twenty hours. That would be averaging 2.5 MPH — a decent walking pace — for twenty hours. Figure in rest breaks, bathroom breaks, eating, and you’d have to be walking rather briskly to meet that. I doubt there are many civilians who could do that. Maybe some marathon runners could, but most adults don’t run at all these days, and many don’t walk more than they have to. Plus, I doubt most Americans could focus that long without getting distracted by their smartphone. (If that sounds crazy, try going just 3 hours without touching your phone — while awake, obviously. Let me know if anyone tries this and how it turns out.)
Teddy Roosevelt was one of the toughest presidents ever. His life is an interesting and inspirational story. He chose to live a strenuous life, because it makes you stronger. He was into boxing, tennis, hiking, rowing, polo, horseback riding, jujutsu, fighting in wars (and actually leading soldiers into battle), climbing mountains, exploring the Amazonian rainforest, etc.
There have been a number of really interesting and accomplished presidents of the United States. Where are the outstanding candidates now? How long has it been since we’ve had a great candidate that you were excited to vote for? Some of them over the last few elections will tell you how great they are and make big promises but not live up to the hype. Surely there are some great leaders out there who would make a great president…
Maybe the next great president is reading this now, thinking they could do better than the recent ones. Maybe it’s you! Is it? Would you make a great president? If so, how so? Would you rule with compassion? Would you defuse tense situations with humor? Would you have your own walk-up music or theme song? Would you dance? Would you build a weather dominator? Would you provide ice cream sandwiches to people in 100 degree heat? Would you tell all Americans about cheese dip? (They really ought to know, because it’s awesome.) Would you tell people that this random blog inspired you to become president? 🙂
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Thomas Wayne
Maybe there also ought to be a mental test, too. We are on our third consecutive term of really old presidents who aren’t as mentally sharp as they once were. To be fair, someone can be old and still mentally focused, but that’s not been happening with recent presidents. Another problem is that really old people tend to be out-of-touch with modern society and technology. Our current president thinks Tivo-style recording of TV is the greatest invention ever. Source, in his own words:
“Yesterday in her speech, I think she said — I had to play it back. You know, I love the playback controls you have nowadays. They used to call it TiVo. Now they have TiVo all the, I think it’s the single greatest invention. It’s better than television, because television would drive you crazy if you couldn’t do a playback, right? Now I can play back!” ~ Donald Trump, 8/17/24
He also said this “highly-intelligent” statement about technology:
“We’re going to bring up electronics, too. Electronics, we buy everything away. When you see the sophistication of the product I just saw at this place, electronics is peanuts by comparison.” ~ Donald Trump, 08/2024
That’s the person making the most influential policy decisions for our country, leading the way. But I digress.
Or, if there’s not a mental test (which isn’t perfect), how about this idea? Voters should require candidates to have actual plans for solving problems, instead of just saying they will release a plan in two weeks but then never having one. The way it is now, we have all kinds of problems, and the answer we’re given is “TARIFFS!”. Tariffs do generate the flow of additional money, but it’s not going to consumers, and it’s actually costing us more money, so it’s making some of our problems worse.
Thomas Wayne
To answer your question (instead of just ranting like I did above, sorry), I would push for things that would make people’s everyday life better. It’s not that hard to find plenty of areas that need improvement, since my lifestyle is limited to an average income. Granted, I’m no “ordinary” America, but my income is rather ordinary. I’d look for ways to ease the financial burden of things like groceries (what an interesting word!), healthcare, houses, etc. I could go on, but you get the idea.
I would definitely have my own theme music when I walk into a room. And some cool dance moves. That would put the other world leaders in a pickle — do they just sit there and look boring or do they try to match my awesomeness?
And here’s a policy talking point that I’ve never heard anybody say but it makes sense — I’d make sweet tea be the official drink of America. There are still places in our country that don’t know what it is, and they are missing out!
evanblaster2
I will try it, and I don’t know if I will be a president.
Mr. Destructo
I’ve been studying my whole life to take over the world with a doomsday device using the latest scientific and technological breakthroughs. Would it perhaps be more efficient to just get elected president and then take over the world? Perhaps… But it wouldn’t be as fun. It’s not enough to just conquer the world — I want to do it with style! Plus I want to be on the cover of Evil Genius Monthly, which usually isn’t offered to politicians. (Some of them are evil, no doubt, but voting on policy isn’t really genius.)
When I’m the supreme leader, there will be dancing. My minions can learn choreography. I will also feature the best evil laugh you’ve ever heard. I’ll have a theme song, for sure, and I’ll have a device that enables me to trigger thunder and lightning effects when I want emphasis on what I’m saying.
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