I recently received an email newsletter that started with this:

I ran a marathon a couple weeks ago. No training. No preparation. I decided 5 days before. Just went out and did it.

The newsletter had the title “Lessons Learned”. I’m thinking that would be some harsh lessons there. If you don’t train, you don’t just go out and run 26.2 miles. Without running regularly, most people probably couldn’t run more than a quarter mile. I was curious about these lessons he learned, so I kept reading, and he talked about how it’s good to prepare, but then he said he did it because he knew he “could run 20 miles”, so he could just push himself to get to 26. And he did finish.

At this point, it’s obvious he’s being misleading, so I’m out. I unsubscribed from that email. (I realize there is strategy for trying to win a marathon, but the hardest part is being able to run that far, and being able to run 20 miles counts as training and preparation to me. That doesn’t just happen. Even if you’re young and skinny, you don’t just run miles without building up to it.)

I run more than the average adult, but I know I couldn’t finish a marathon without massive amounts of training, and that’s not one of my goals. I suspect most people have no interest in running that far.

However, I do enjoy being outside and getting exercise, as well as enjoying the camaraderie from being with like-minded people. So perhaps there should be some similar events but with modifications. I don’t just mean a shorter race — I know those exist, and I’m still not interested.

I’ve heard of a bicycle race called the Tour de Donut (The Donut Race). It’s a 30 mile race with two pit stops where you eat donuts, and each donut you eat reduces your time by five minutes. That’s more my style. Although 30 miles is still too far. So we should have one that is 5 miles (bicycling or running or walking), and each donut you eat takes off one minute from your time. We could also do this with bacon strips. Or donuts AND bacon!

I think a lot of people would attend an event like this. You could hand out medals for various categories: fastest actual time, lowest adjusted time, anyone who gets negative time, and most donuts/bacon eaten. The whole event could be a fundraiser, too. Someone should make this happen.

Would you participate?

Do you have any ideas to make it even more awesome?