Buffet o’ Bacon 3

Last night I had the Buffet o’ Blog staff over for a regular team outing (where we played video games and discussed funny stuff — how meetings should go!).  As has happened before, this meeting turned into a Buffet o’ Bacon.  It was kinda like an Iron Chef episode, where 3 contestants brought an original dish based around bacon.  (At these impromptu cooking sessions, the theme is always bacon.  Not that I’m complaining!)

First on the menu was bacon-wrapped smokies covered with barbecue sauce and grilled, and served on a stick.

smokies, bacon, & BBQ, on a stick

That one used turkey bacon, which works better for grilling and is a lot healthier.  The taste was really good.  You just have to make sure the bacon is cooked to the point of getting slightly crispy, or it’ll be easier to notice it’s turkey bacon.

The second item we sampled was bacon-wrapped cream-cheese-filled jalapenos.   We removed the seeds so they wouldn’t be too spicy (for some).  These were also delicious, although I’d like to experiment with different types of cheese.  Cooking them on a rack is essential (as I will explain in further detail on the next item).  They were also served on a stick (well, a toothpick).

bacon-wrapped cheese-filled jalapenos

Third on our list was the most ambitious creation, and the one that slightly concerned me.  It consisted of club crackers topped with shredded cheese, then bacon-wrapped and cooked for two hours at 250 degrees.  Here’s a picture of them during preparation.

bacon-wrapped club crackers, with cheese, in preparation

Notice there was no rack used to elevate the food above the inevitable bacon grease.  Supposedly it wasn’t necessary according to the recipe, that the crackers wouldn’t absorb all the grease.  I was concerned because we’ve been down this road before.  /* flashback */ At the initial Buffet o’ Bacon, there were some bacon-wrapped croissants, and the bread absorbed almost all the bacon grease during cooking.  The consistency of the croissants was like butter at room temperature, and it was deemed the “gut-bomb”.  (Read the second comment on our initial Buffet o’ Bacon for an explanation.)  /* end flashback */ So how did it turn out?  Let’s have a look:

bacon-wrapped club crackers, with cheese

What’s missing from this picture is the grease that was drained before I got in there with the camera.  Supposedly there was a pool of grease.  And if it isn’t evident in the picture, the crackers were saturated with grease, along with the cheese, and the bacon was quite greasy also.  Someone looked at the recipe to see where they went wrong, and they noticed the last line of the recipe said to cook it on a rack over a pan.  Obviously that line was never read, and the excuse was used that the picture included with the recipe didn’t have a rack in it.

We each tried a couple of them, and you could tell there was a lot of potential there, if not for the extreme load of grease.  The rest were discarded, for the sake of healthiness.   Hopefully a lesson was learned from this, because it’s really sad to throw away bacon and cheese.  (Should we have a moment of silence?)

If you want to read about our previous bacon research sessions, the link to part one is above, and here’s part two.  There are other food-related experiments and discussions — too many to list — but you can search for them if you want.

For those of you who live nearby and would like to participate in one of these in the future, there has been talk of hosting one on a Saturday afternoon and making a party out of it.  Stay tuned to this blog for further details.

crack weenies and bacon candy

Here at Buffet o’ Blog I often write about topics I find humorous, although sometimes the topic turns to food.  So when I found these videos that combine humor and food, I had to write about it.

There’s an online food show called “Worst Foods Hall of Shame”.  The basic premise is that the host tries unusual recipes that are sent in by readers.  As you might guess by the title, some of the concoctions are nasty.  But there are some that you’ve probably never heard of but will be tempted to make.  The episode linked below has one of each.

In this video the host, Shawn McKee, tries 3 reader-submitted recipes.  The first involves Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies topped with sliced cheese.  He says they’re okay but missing something, so he improvises and adds maple syrup.  The second recipe consists of chocolate cake donuts topped with can tuna (packed in oil).  That one sounds incredibly gross.  He tries it, and says, “It’s even worse than you’d think it would be.  Oily tuna on a chocolate donut?  Amazing… amazingly bad.”  His third recipe is called “crack weenies”, which are made from smokies and bacon, and it sounds good.  (Perhaps we’ll try that last one at a future Buffet o’ Bacon event.)

In that video, he references “bacon candy”.  If you’re still reading, I figure you’re interested, like I am.  So here’s that video.  (A short synopsis is candy made from butter and sugar, a gelatinous mix made from cottage cheese, Jello, and ranch dressing, and then bacon candy.  Only one of those am I interested in trying.)

If you are interested in our bacon experiments, here’s the link to our buffet o’ bacon and part 2.

making homemade corn dogs & pepperoni nuggets

One of our astute readers sent us a link to a funny and informative video (big props to Rurouni Kenneth), and it spawned some research and experimentation by the infamous Buffet o’ Blog Research & Development (R&D) department.  But first, let’s discuss the video.  You may not be into cooking shows, but this episode of “Good Eats” is called “The Man Food Show”.  It’s not about how to make your food pretty or different ways to steam vegetables.  (There’s plenty of that on TV!)  This episode is about man food.  And it’s presented FOR men BY a man.  It’s about homemade corn dogs and mini-burgers.  Alton Brown wants to help guys develop their “man food skills”.  So check it out.

BTW, even if you don’t want to watch it all, check out the beginning, where he asks women to leave the room so he can talk to just the guys.  (Obviously, any women reading this should stop playback and/or leave the room when he says so.  If you don’t follow instructions, bad things may happen.)

In part 2 he explains the technique for keeping the grease at the right temperature, and how doing so will prevent the food from becoming greasy (and thus extra fattening) despite being deep-fried.  He even uses a football illustration to make his point.  (If only cooking involved more physical contact…)

Alton Brown, the host, claims these are the best corn dogs in the world.  That’s quite the claim, and it seems unsubstantiated without our own taste test.  So one of our researchers made the corn dog mix and brought it to our meeting last night.  In the interest of full disclosure, his mixture was lacking the jalapenos, onions, and corn, only because those things weren’t readily available.  And he used regular milk instead of buttermilk.  So our recipe was different, and some manual adjustments were necessary to obtain the proper consistency.   But regardless of all that, it turned out very good.  Was it the best ever?  Perhaps.  I would definitely eat them again, to get a larger sample set.  🙂

Our corn dogs had a lot of flavor, and the hot dog part stayed juicy.  So it was really good.  The only drawback was that there weren’t enough of them.  In case you aren’t a statistician, you need a large sample set to reduce standard deviation and aberration within the results.   Or in plain everyday language, you need a lot of samples, which in this study is food.  So once we ran out of hot dogs, we took some turkey pepperoni from the fridge, ran it through the two-stage batter process, and tossed ’em in the deep fryer.   This in turn created pepperoni nuggets.  I don’t know what you would expect from them, but they were quite delicious.  (Next time we’ll put two pepperoni slices per nugget, to better balance flavor.)

We’ve now had several food research sessions (see Buffet o’ Bacon 1 and 2 and chocolate-covered bacon on a stick), and they’ve all been a great time, with new discoveries.  We’ve taken food beyond its normal frontier and boundaries.  We’ve invented several new dishes, and we’ve got a lot more ideas to try in the future.  We’d like to open a restaurant, but that’s just not in the budget at this time.  Perhaps we should start charging admission to our food research expeditions.  🙂

the Bacon Explosion — I must try this!

Speaking of bacon weaves, I recently heard about a dish called the Bacon Explosion.   It uses two pounds of bacon and two pounds of sausage, plus barbecue seasonings.  Some have called it a monster of meat.  I’m not scared of it, although the after-effects might be strong (more on that later).  This food item is football-sized, and it contains at least 5,000 calories and 500 grams of fat.  Needless to say, you shouldn’t eat it all in one sitting.  (Although Michael Phelps could consume two of these in one day on his extreme workout diet!  But imagine the effect it would have on his swimming…)

At the BBQ Addicts site, there is a full recipe with pictures.  Here’s a quick summary.  Create a 5×5 bacon weave; coat it with a barbecue pork rub; spread out two pounds of sausage; cover with crumbled up bacon that’s already cooked; cover with barbecue sauce; roll up; add more barbecue seasoning; then slow-cook in a smoker with hickory smoke; after cooking, cover with more BBQ sauce.   (That site used Italian sausage, but I would prefer pork sausage / breakfast sausage, which others have used.)

Here at Buffet o’ Blog, we’ve had our own Buffet o’ Bacon a few months ago, which was awesome.  Well, one experimental item created what we called a “gut-bomb”, which I suspect would happen with this Bacon Explosion dish.  See, the problem arises when the bacon grease isn’t able to escape.  But with the Bacon Explosion, not only would you have trapped bacon grease, but also trapped sausage grease.   So it might be doubly as potent.  Nonetheless, I would like to try it someday.  (Guys, I think this calls for a Buffet o’ Bacon 2!  Although everyone might be required to sign a release form stating we’re not liable for the after-effects!)

You can read more about the dish here.  One excerpt I want to highlight from that article is this review:

After preparing a version of the dish, Andrew Vennari of the San Francisco Food Examiner said the dish tasted better than expected, “but I didn’t learn the true meaning of the bacon explosion until the next day.”

That’s what is meant by the term “gut-bomb”.  (FYI, if you eat this, you might want to equip your bathroom with a fan and some magazines.  I’m just sayin’…)

When we perform our research* on this, you’ll get a full review.

* num num num num

I’ve been thinking about what we could serve with it, besides plenty of sweet tea.   I know, it might seem like culinary perfection already, but I don’t think our bodies are accustomed to such awesomeness anymore.  Our modern diet just doesn’t prepare the body for that.  All the “health foods” we eat now have weakened our digestive system, which can make dishes like the Bacon Explosion dangerous, because we aren’t used to such awesomeness.

Anyway, back to side-item ideas.  Perhaps some bread (biscuits or rolls), and maybe some cheese dip to dip it in.  🙂  Actually, I’m thinking of adding some cheese before and after cooking.   Surely it would be better with cheese!  (Just be prepared for the “sudden dramatic weight loss” mentioned in the infamous bacon and cheese diet!)

In closing, I realize some health experts or registered dieticians might be frowning upon this discussion.  I’ll let them take that up with the “Important Doctor”, one of the regular readers here.  But I will add this nugget of wisdom for you to contemplate:

Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as prescribed — without French-fried onion rings, pizza with double cheese, chocolate?  (Remember, living right doesn’t really make you live longer, it just seems like longer.)

All that said, who wants to join me in a taste-testing session of the Bacon Explosion with cheese dip?   🙂