Tag: poop

viewer mail, issue #11

It’s been a while since I’ve answered viewer mail, so here goes.  Like always, these are actual search terms used to find this site, followed by commentary and analysis.  There wasn’t any questions to answer this week, but if you have any, use the “Contact Us” link to send it to us.

  • flavor of poop — I haven’t ever researched this (for good reason), so I’m going to resort to a third-party on this one.  I have read of someone who actually ate some, and he said it tasted about like what you would expect.  I wish I could find the reference to it, because I’d give him a few seconds of additional fame for his feat.
  • i would like 17 super powers please — Doesn’t that seem kinda greedy?  Of course it would be great to have more superpowers than you know what to do with, but then some would get wasted.  Besides, can you think of any superheroes that have 17 super powers?  That would offset the balance on both sides, and it would be really bad if you decided to use your powers for evil.  So, sorry, on this request you’ll have to be DENIED.
  • coworker is an aliencoworker is an alien — If this is true, then you need to be very careful!  An alien is not going to come to Earth just to sit in a cubicle and do work; he obviously has some ulterior motives.  He could be here for research, spying, infiltration, or kidnapping.   But regardless of that, there’s another aspect of this to consider.  Do you have any idea how much fame and fortune you could get by discovering an alien?!?  People have tried to prove the existence of UFOs for decades, and if you could, you’d be so famous.  So document all your encounters with him/her/it, and keep your proof in a safe place.  Write a book with an accompanying DVD, then hit the talk show circuit.  You’ll easily make millions!
  • words like discombobulator — That word makes me feel discombobulated…
  • why do pickles explode — BECAUSE THEY’RE EVIL!!!  Actually, I didn’t know they explode on their own, but I do know for a fact that they’re evil.  Does anyone have any evidence or explanation of them exploding?  My plan of shooting all pickles into the sun would cause them to explode, but if there’s any natural exploding of pickles, I’d like to know about it.
  • unbreakable stuff — That’s just a myth.  Nothing is unbreakable.  I’ve worked with people who were naturals at breaking anything.
  • why should i eat chocolate — This one is really easy — because it tastes great!  What other reasons do you need?  But if someone is trying to convince you that it’s not healthy, that’s just because they want the chocolate for themselves.  Chocolate actually does have nutritional properties to it.  It has antioxidants, which nobody understands, but they say your body needs them.  And chocolate is a great source of sugar.  I know, sugar gets a bad reputation these days, but did you know your brain runs on sugar?  It’s true, look it up.  Of course, your body can create sugar from foods like fruits and vegetables, but why not save the time and effort by eating chocolate, which has your daily sugar needs in highly concentrated form (plus it tastes much better).
  • how safe is buffet eating? — I’ve never had any problems with it.  But, since you brought it up, I should research this.  I think this calls for a trip to Larry’s Pizza!  WOOHOO!  Would anyone like to join me to offer a second opinion?  Before you quickly volunteer, know that this may require multiple visits to local buffets, so we can reduce the standard deviation and stuff.  🙂

That’s it for this week.  Now you know more than before.  You’re welcome.

coffee made from poop

I saw an article over at Beppo’s Blog about the world’s most expensive coffee, and it’s a story that is most definitely random and stupid (yet true).  This coffee is called (or Civet coffee), and it is made from coffee berries that have been eaten and pooped by a weasel-like animal.  Yeah, you heard that right — the animal eats the coffee berries, digests them, defecates them, and then someone collects the feces, and they make coffee from it.

The coffee berries are washed, and then given “only a light roast so as to not destroy the complex flavors that develop through the process”.  Think about that — the berries were digested and then pooped out by an animal, and they don’t want to destroy the flavors that developed through the process!  This is most definitely not for me!

Guess how much people pay for this crap coffee…  In processed form, between $120 and $600 per pound!  In coffee form, $50 per cup.

If you want to see a picture of how these berries look when they are collected, follow this link.  (Doesn’t it look like something you’d want to brew coffee with?)

One website that is promoting it said this about the flavor :

“It has earthy tones of natural processed Sumatra Mandheling. It has low acidity with a syrupy body. There’s something else there, a nuance in the flavor profile that I can’t describe, and when I’ve challenged others, no one else can either. It’s almost alien, a tiny little flavor note, highly exotic.”

Yeah, that little “nuance” / exotic flavor is POOP!  I just can’t believe people drink coffee made from crap!  Will people buy anything if it’s considered rare and exotic?

What is this world coming to?!?

random facts about hippos

I was flipping through the TV channels recently and came across a show on Animal Planet about hippos (that is, hippopotamuses, or is it hippopotami?).  I ended up watching a few minutes of it, and I learned that they are more advanced than humans in a few areas, which surprised me.  Obviously they’re better at being fat, but that’s not something to be jealous of.  Well, maybe they’re just big-boned… because consider this : hippos can run up to 30 mph on land.  30 mph!  Considering that they weigh anywhere from 3,000 to 7,000 pounds, and that’s quite an achievement.  They even have stubby little legs.  It’s very impressive that they can reach such speeds given those conditions.  And then all of a sudden I realized what an advantage I have in running, yet I’m pretty sure I can’t get anywhere close to 30 mph, even for a very short run.  That ain’t right!  But that’s okay, because I’ve got a number of other inherent advantages over the hippo (the main one being infinitely more intelligent).

hippoAn interesting little bit of trivia about the hippo is that their skin secretes a natural sunscreen substance, to prevent them from getting sunburned.  It’s initially colorless, then turns red-orange within minutes, then turns to brown.  Sometimes I wish I had a natural sunscreen, like when I want to spend a summer day at the pool or playing baseball.

Another interesting bit of trivia is that the hippo can consume 150 pounds of grass each night.  That’s a LOT of grass!  I couldn’t eat even half of that in a day, even if it was steak with bacon and shrimp.  But that’s okay, because I’d rather not be as big as a hippo.  🙂

Also, I found something we sort of have in common with hippopotami :

Most of their defecation occurs in the water, creating allochthonous deposits of organic matter along the river beds.  These deposits have an unclear ecological function.

Most of us humans prefer to use toilets instead of rivers and lakes, creating deposits of “organic matter” in sewage treatment plants.  And like the hippo, these deposits have an unclear ecological function.  🙂

Speaking of defecation…  🙂  I heard this on the TV show and found it amusing :

To mark territory, hippos spin their tails while defecating to distribute their excrement over the greatest possible area.  Hippos also urinate backwards (are retromingent), likely for the same reason.

I had never heard of that before…  Try to picture that…  I glanced around on YouTube to find a video for your viewing pleasure, and actually found one.  It’s neat to hear the surprised screams of people who are dangerously close.  (On a side note, isn’t the Internet awesome???  You can find anything on it!)  Also, I found where a South African family has a hippo living in their house as a pet.  Now picture the hippo spinning his tail while pooping to distribute his poop over the greatest possible area — in their house.  I would find that hard to live with, but maybe that’s just me.  One of my house rules is no pooping outside of the designated toilet areas.

Glancing at Wikipedia (where I confirmed this data), I found something else kinda amusing :

Hippopotamuses appear to communicate verbally, through grunts and bellows, but the purpose of these vocalizations is unknown.

I’m no important scientist, but I suspect they say the same type of stuff other animals do, like even cats and dogs.  A grunt may mean, “That’s my food, get back!” or “Hey, baby…” or “Whew! I just farted underwater and it’s all kind of stank!”  (My interpolations of their grunts are subject to dispute with certain other scientists, but I happen to know a thing or two about hippopotami.)

Now don’t you feel more educated about hippos?  🙂  You learn something every day, they say…

eating too many colorful foods

I was perusing the Internet the other day, and I found a blog about food.  I like blogs, and I like food, so it just about has to be good, right?  Well, it was a good time.  But I found something that I had never heard of, and it’s gross, yet it’s intriguing, yet it’s gross…  Okay, if you keep reading, you have been forewarned.  Now onto the unusual comment…

Did you know that if you eat a whole bag of Oreos in one day your poo will be jet black?  Well if you didn’t, you do now.

I’ve eaten a lot of Oreos, but I don’t know if I’ve ever eaten a whole package at one time.  And turds are somewhat brown and blackish most times anyway, so it might be easy to overlook that phenomenon.  But this reminded me of a true story about a former roommate — he went to Cracker Barrel, got the 6 vegetables plate, chose all colla’ greens, and it turned his poop green.  He was excited about this, too…