Tag: life

searching for the best cheeseburger

I heard someone say:

A life spent in the pursuit of the perfect cheeseburger would not be a life wasted. I wonder if the same could be said of milkshakes…

That sounds good, in a way. I’ve pursued the best cheeseburger (and found it on my own grill), and I’ve pursued the best milkshake. One time in high school, my best friend and I had driven to the nearest city, and we decided we’d try milkshakes from all the places we knew about, to see which was the best. Looking back at that now, when I understand more about calories and fat grams, I wouldn’t do it again. At least, not all in one day. I still enjoy milkshakes just as much, but my metabolism is many times slower than it was then, so it’s just not a good strategy to have them often. But in high school, I could do that and not gain any weight. (I sure miss my metabolism!)

But thinking back to that philosophy of chasing the best, it’s not always the ideal mindset. There’s nothing wrong with trying to find a better version of something, and I encourage that to a degree, but I’ve learned that chasing perfection can lead to not enjoying what you have.

You can’t always eat at the best burger joint or the best steakhouse or the best seafood restaurant, and if your mindset ends up being, “This isn’t the best” and that makes you disappointed, that’s unfortunate. Then you have a lot of meals that you aren’t enjoying because they aren’t the best.

I’ve met people who became that way, where they were never satisfied at a restaurant nor with home cooking, because it wasn’t the best it could be. I felt sad for them, because they could be eating really good food that they used to enjoy, yet be disappointed and complaining about it.

I’ve learned to try to enjoy where I am. My meals today probably won’t be the best they can possibly be (although I will try to make them good within reason), but I will still choose to enjoy them.

Your mindset makes a huge difference in how much you enjoy it. Even if the taste is the same, how you think about it — your expectations and your narrative about the experience — play a large role in how you think and feel about it. I’ve seen children talk themselves into not liking chicken strips or spaghetti or mac ‘n cheese, even if it’s the exact same kind they had the week before and really enjoyed. Adults can do that, too. What we tell ourselves matters.

So choose to enjoy today. It won’t be perfect or ideal — it never is — but enjoy it anyway. Where you are right now is your actual life, and you will not pass through this day again. You can choose to make the best of it, or you can complain about it and not enjoy it. It’s your choice. (I recommend trying to enjoy it.)

The International Day of Happiness

Happy happy day!

Today, March 20, is the International Day of Happiness. So, obviously, you should try to be happy today. 🙂

Funny conversations are usually better in-person.

Whether or not you choose to participate is up to you. We might think we want other people to make us happy, but really, they can’t, nor do you want to be dependent on other people to be happy. Or, even if we don’t expect them to, we might blame other people and circumstances when we aren’t happy. And while everything around us is an influence on our mood, the good news is that we are in control of our own happiness.

Research has shown that what happens to us makes up only about 20 percent of our happiness. The rest depends on our expectations and the narrative we tell ourselves to explain our life, both of which you can control. A full discussion on that is way beyond the scope of this post and this blog, but there is a series of blog posts on how to find happiness, if you want to learn more about it and improve your life. (It’s still a work in progress, but I know what’s coming and recommend it.)

So, what will you do today to be happy? Even if your schedule is full and you’re too busy, there’s opportunity to enjoy life where you’re at. Talk to someone who spreads humor, listen to music you enjoy, take a 5 minute dance break, go for a walk outside, relax for a few minutes when you normally wouldn’t, sit in the sun (or the shade) for a few minutes, eat a cookie, read a good book (or this blog), savor a glass of sweet tea, etc.

Remember, your happiness is up to you. So if you want to be happy, do something about it.

snow showing how old you are

We got a rare snow here in the south recently, and I remembered this quote:

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

BTW, I threw numerous snowballs, so I’m not old. 🙂

Seriously, though, while that’s a joke, take time to enjoy your life each day. Look around, notice what’s going on around you, pay attention to details you normally overlook, and find enjoyment in the good things in your life. Most people are too busy and stressed to enjoy life, which is sad.

What can you enjoy today that you normally don’t? Even if it’s just a minute or two, that’s a start. Try it…

a new holiday for enjoying life

So we just had a leap day from this leap year. I suppose they’re important, to keep the calendar synced up with the seasons. Without leap day, Christmas would eventually be in the summer. (Obviously I’m writing this from the northern hemisphere, where a summer Christmas is unheard of, yet it happens in the southern hemisphere.)

What did you do with your extra day on February 29? Probably nothing special, since the world treats it like a normal day. But what if there was a better way? Why can’t we have a bonus day off every four years?

Have you ever looked at the calendar we use and wondered why it is like it is and if it could be better? The story behind why the months have varied numbers of days is beyond the scope of this article (long story short, blame the Romans), but there are potential solutions to improve it. I could think of some ideas, but actually J.R.R. Tolkien (who wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings) has already created a better calendar system. He created separate calendars for the Hobbits, Elves, Men, and Numenoreans (Aragorn’s ancestors), among others. (Yeah, that’s nerdy, but consider that he created new languages for different people groups.)

Worth noting for this discussion is the Hobbit calendar. It’s based on the same 365 days per year with an occasional leap year, just like ours. However, their calendar had 12 months with exactly 30 days each, which is convenient, although that leaves 5 or 6 days out. So what did Hobbits do about that? Here’s where it gets really interesting. The bonus days were split between “Lithedays” near the summer solstice and “Yuledays” near the winter solstice. These bonus days were holidays that were not included in the calendar — they simply stopped counting days during these celebrations. Actually, these days counted as days of the week, but not days on the calendar. They would have days of feasting during that time, so it was like a mandatory party or vacation (for them, since Hobbits usually didn’t leave the Shire). Also, there was a day, Midyear’s Day, which did not count as a day of the week, so their year officially had 364 days.

That might seem more complicated, but in some ways it is simpler. Their calendar made dates always fall on the same weekday. Bilbo’s and Frodo’s birthday of September 22 was always on a Thursday. The year always began on the first day of the week and ended on the last day of the week. This calendar was designed to reinforce their culture, prioritizing routine, order, and convenience, along with emphasizing their love of feasting and partying. They even had an area of town called Party Field for dancing and feasting.

Would it be worth the hassle to change our modern calendar? Probably not. People like routine and don’t like change, plus it would be really difficult to change. (Remember the hullabaloo about Y2K? This would be much more difficult to change.) And having mandatory days off sounds good, but given our culture, it probably wouldn’t work. It would result in days of no open restaurants, grocery stores, hospitals, police, etc. I’m not sure our American society could safely handle mandatory days off work. (That’s a discussion for another day.)

But what if towns and cities had a place where they would have dancing and feasting? Is that doable? It might get too complicated and crowded in big cities to pull off, logistically, but it seems like a good idea on a smaller scale. Ideally our culture would accept this idea and make it happen. Imagine a recurring time where people enjoy being around each other, eating together and dancing and just enjoying life. Actually, this sounds like the Sabbath in Christianity, where we’re supposed to devote the seventh day of each week to honoring God, which includes not working, with an emphasis on spending time enjoying God and His creation and people. Many Americans struggle with this, even though it is built into our calendar already.

I suppose the point of all this rambling is that it’s good to slow down from normal life on a regular basis so you can enjoy your life and the people around you. Here in America we are really blessed financially and with freedom — even though many people complain, we still have more prosperity and freedom than perhaps any other country. Of course the system could be better and the wealth distributed more fairly. But regardless of your situation, it is what it is, and where you are right now is your actual life, so make the best of it. Find time each day to laugh, to dance, to marvel at something amazing (like nature, or technology, or how the human body works, etc.), and to enjoy the people around you. If it’s hard to integrate this into your daily life, just start somewhere. Set aside some time today to enjoy life for yourself (that is, without it being fed to you via TV or social media or the internet). Maybe go for a walk, or visit with a friend, or read a book…

Try to enjoy today’s portion of your life’s journey. You won’t pass this way again.