Tag: life

how to increase your long-term happiness

I recently talked about short-term solutions to be more happy and enjoy life more, and those are helpful, but there are also long-term solutions that have a more lasting effect. I realize this is a more serious topic than I normally cover on this blog — I have another blog for seriousness — but it goes with a recent post, and I do like to write here about making your life more awesome, so it somewhat fits.

People smiling while eating pizza together
Stock photo. I don’t know these people. But I do know that eating pizza with friends is a great time. How long has it been since you’ve done that?

I’ve been studying happiness for an upcoming blog series, and one thing I’ve discovered is that having purpose is a key component of being consistently happy. That, and relationships, and your mindset.

Relationships may seem obvious, because having family and friends who love you and care about you just makes life better. The right mindset is a deep topic — too deep for this post — but just consider that your expectations matter a lot, along with the stories you tell yourself to explain and summarize everything. (And along those lines, DON’T COMPLAIN! Someone who always complains can even take the fun out of a snack of cookies and milk. Don’t be that person.) So without going too deep into all that, let’s talk for a minute about finding your purpose.

We all have a purpose in this life, which God has given us. Every one of us is unique, so we all bring something special to the table. We are all potentially awesome, in a unique way. (Of course, not everyone has discovered their awesomeness — some live the opposite, and some try to be generic so they blend in — but we all have that potential, which we have to find and develop.)

What is our purpose? To sum it up, it’s to love God and love people. How we do that depends on our uniqueness and what makes you you. You are able to connect with the people around you in a way that is different from anyone else. We each have a role to play. The Bible explains it with the illustration of one body with many parts that are all important and all work together.

Helping people is a lot more than just the big, obvious things. You can encourage someone while having lunch with them and having funny and/or epic conversations. Going for a walk together, talking and listening, is important and can make a difference. Even just a text can encourage someone (although in-person is better when possible). One of the main things needed these days is to just be present (i.e., don’t look at your phone) — simply pay attention to the people around you. Think about the topics that interest you and find people who also share that interest, and spend time with people. You can even help people while playing video games together. (I realize that’s controversial to some, and context matters, of course, but it does happen. I participate in this myself, so I know.)

So don’t think you have to be in an official church ministry capacity to help the people around you. Everyone needs hope and encouragement and someone to listen to them. And we can all do that. And there are unlimited ways we can accomplish this.

A great benefit of finding your purpose in helping others is that it increases your own happiness. So it’s a win-win situation.

you are the author of your life, so what’s next?

I’ve recently been thinking about writing short stories, and I also recently wrote about eating cookies to make your day better, and I combined those thoughts for the perspective of how you are the author of your own life.

Imagine your life as a story — which it is, except no one is writing it all down. Humans have used stories to remember history for as long as there has been history. You summarize your day into stories based on expectations and your worldview, some of it subconsciously, but it happens.

Now consider your day, maybe it’s a less-than-pleasant day. You wouldn’t think of it in short story form, but for the sake of this exercise, let’s try it:

Burford was late to work due to bad drivers and a traffic jam, and his boss gave him a glare as he walked in, so he wondered if that will affect his reputation and future raises. His boss doesn’t seem to recognize his value to the company. He did his daily work the best he could, but got sleepy in the afternoon because he didn’t get enough sleep last night. His lunch was boring. Leaving work, he was frustrated because there’s so much to do and there’s simply not enough time for it all. He sighed as he got into his old car that he would like to replace but can’t afford to. He was glad that work was through, but not excited about the rest of the evening.

It hasn’t been a great day for poor Burford. But what happens next? Does he let the rest of the day be “blah” or frustrating? Or does he change the script? What happens next hasn’t been written yet. There might be some required activities to do later, but what can he do to make his day better?

So many of us get into a routine with our daily habits and just let life happen to us. But you are the author of your life. What can you do to make your day better? Eat cookies. Drink sweet tea. Get outside to walk or play a sport. Listen to your favorite songs. Read something funny. (You could subscribe to this blog if you haven’t already). 🙂 Sit down to do absolutely nothing for a few minutes to clear your mind and relax. Text a friend who is funny and/or encouraging. Listen to a podcast about self-improvement. Pray. Whatever it is, there are options you can do to make your day better. And wherever you are right now, you get to write the rest of today’s chapter. What will happen?

Being outdoors in nature helps. Studies have shown that even just a couple of breaks in nature per week affects your mood the whole week. Take some time to be alone with your thoughts and be present where you are, with no distractions. Ignore your phone for 30 minutes.

When you’ve just got to dance…

When was the last time you heard music that made you dance? I don’t mean when you’ve got ants in your pants and you need to dance. Nor do I mean when you have squirrels in your pants. (Side note: If you can name both of those references without an online search, then I’ll give you 50 coolness points right now. [BTW, that’s a lot.] If you know just one of them, I’ll give you 20. I figure it’s a rare person who understands two generations of coolness. Most people only find one generations worth, although some find none. Oh, and if you have to search and you can stay focused enough to find both and still leave a comment, I’ll give you 10. I figure that’s somewhat rare too, given short attention spans these days, plus when you search the internet for cool stuff, it’s easy to follow a rabbit trail and forget where you started.) [Ed. note: That’s probably not a side note if it’s longer than the main text.]

Back to music… When was the last time you heard music that was so interesting to you that you started dancing? If the answer is not today, then perhaps you should find some. Life is too short for boring music. (Disclaimer: I’m not implying that music which doesn’t make you dance is necessarily boring — certainly not true. However, it is good to dance and feel good, so I recommend listening to music that makes you feel good on a regular basis.) This concept can apply to music from many genres: funk (of course*), jazz, hip-hop, rock, pop, country, heavy metal, classical, techno, house, bluegrass, electro-swing (naturally), etc. That may seem strange to you, since many people listen to primarily just one genre of music, but I’ve danced to all of those, so it’s definitely possible. (No, there’s no video of this. No one wants to see that. It’s for my enjoyment. And my kids dance with me sometimes, too.)

* You could say “of course” to any of them, particularly your favorite genre, but I mentioned it because just today, while doing dishes, I heard a song so funky I just had to get my groove on. If you know, you know. I was playing music while doing dishes because I really dislike washing dishes, but music makes the experience better. And I have my own playlist, set to shuffle, so it’s music that will help me stay upbeat and happy. I sometimes use this playlist while walking and exercising. And I also use it when I’m cooking something that takes a long time, like chili. In fact, just the other day I played a song in my truck that my son said, “That’s chili-making music.” I’ve never heard that before, but makes sense in this context. He had that association with it. And he helps me make chili sometimes, and he dances to the music while making chili, so he knows. Sometimes his feet start moving like he’s James Brown. (Hey, that’s a hint to not forget the coolness challenge in the first paragraph.)

So if your day could use more awesomeness, pull up some of your favorite songs to listen to when you get a chance. Why not make your day more awesome? (If you never listen to songs that make you want to dance, why not try it? Find some. Search for playlists about dancing, or ask friends for suggestions. I suspect everyone could find some songs that make them want to dance, and you need this in your life. Trust me, it’s a good time, and it’s worth the effort to find. Make your day more awesome!)

using cookies to make your day better

We all occasionally have days that are meh, blah, or downright bad. That’s just part of life. But there are things we can do to make our day better. Consider this:

If you are having a bad day, have a couple cookies and I bet your day will instantly get better. ~ Chris Lowry

You might think, “Well, duh, of course a cookie makes things better.” Everyone knows that! But when you’re having a bad day, do you actually do something to make your day better? Sometimes we get so busy and/or so stressed that we just go along with it and don’t take a few minutes to improve our day. It doesn’t have to be cookies (although they are effective, as my research has proven*). It could be a text message to a friend who will likely respond with encouragement or humor. It could be listening to your favorite songs instead of whatever happens to be on the radio. It could be turning off the news. Lying down and stretching out, maybe taking a nap. Dancing, reading, writing, walking outside, brewing some sweet tea, etc. Whatever works might vary for you, but think of ways you can improve your day. And even if it’s not a bad day, why not make it a little more awesome?

* I ate cookies.