buying a car as an investment

With today’s financial climate — that is, the economic crisis and the crashing of the Dow Jones Industrial Average — buying a car is now a good investment: you still lose 40% of the value when you drive it off the lot, but that’s better than most mutual funds these days…

the special days of August, pt 3

It’s time to continue our look at the special days / holidays / observances of August:

  • 10 Lazy Day — Here’s your excuse to be lazy this day.  Put off your chores another day — they’ll still be there tomorrow.  Take time to do whatever you want to do.  (And here’s an important note: if cleaning is what you actually want to do, it doesn’t mean your spouse wants to.  Just thought I’d throw that in there, for no particular reason.)
  • 10 National S’mores Day — You don’t need a campfire to make these — a microwave will do.  And you don’t need a recipe, either — just mix graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate.  You should make a lot of them, to hone your own personal recipe and get it just right.  And you should invite me over to help you taste-test them.  🙂
  • 11 Presidential Joke Day — This is not a day to make jokes about our President.  It’s actually a day for them to make jokes.  It started on August 11, 1984, when President Ronald Reagan was about to make a speech.  He was testing the microphone, thinking it was off, and said, “My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever.  The bombing begins in five minutes.”  This became quite the joke because he was speaking to a live feed!
  • 11 Play in the Sand Day — I wish I was near a beach.  There’s some sand pits in various parks nearby, but there are also cats and dogs that roam those areas, and so I’d rather not play in what may be someone’s litterbox.
  • 13 International Left-Hander’s Day — On this day, lefties have rights!  🙂  Otherwise, lefties never do anything right.  🙂
  • 13 National Filet Mignon Day — Sounds like I need to visit a steakhouse on this day!  Since it’s a holiday, this particular cut of steak should be discounted, so more people can afford them and appreciate their yummy goodness.  And the filet mignon should be bacon-wrapped.  Mmm… mmm… mmm…
  • 13 Comic Book Hero Day — Comic books should get more respect.  Many of the most popular superheroes featured in movies these days got their start in comics, and their story is still being written.  The movie version is just a brief summary of all the detail that is in the original story.  And lest you think comics are bought only by 13-year-olds, the U.S. market for comics is between $660 and $700 million.  Worldwide, comic books are perhaps the most widely read literary format.  That’s not small potatoes…  (So don’t be a “hater” or say that they’re just for “little boys”.)
  • 14 National Creamsicle Day — This sounds like a good plan, and it’s an appropriate treat considering how crazy-mad hot it typically is in the middle of August.
  • 14 Yukon Discovery Day — The name of this day reminds me of Yukon Cornelius, from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer claymation Christmas “cartoon”.  He was awesome!  He was the self-proclaimed “greatest prospector in the North”, always searching for silver and gold.
  • 15 Relaxation Day — This is different from being lazy.  Here, you’re resting and relaxing because you should.  It’s important to have down-time for your body to recover from all the stuff you do.  So relax, sit down a spell, and drink some tea.
  • 16 National Tell a Joke Day — I’ve thought about becoming a stand-up comedian.  It started when I was a kid, and I told my parents I wanted to be a comedian, and they just laughed at me.
  • 16 International Homeless Animals Day — Did you know most animals are homeless?  Well, not really, because they find or create homes, but I mean that most animals don’t live with humans.  Besides, animals are naturally homeless.
  • 16 Roller Coaster Day — On this day in 1898, the roller coaster was patented.  The popularity of roller coasters has been going up and down since.
  • 18 Bad Poetry Day — At first glance, this kind of holiday seems obscure and useless, but I know of a few people (who happen to be regular readers here) who seem to enjoy writing bad poetry.  (That is, “bad” meaning poorly composed and consisting of mostly bad puns.)
  • 19 National Potato Day — Some also call this French Fry Appreciation Day.  Either way, it’s good stuff.  Did you know that potatoes are actually vegetables?  So I can’t say I dislike all vegetables.  Taters are good in just about all forms: baked, mashed, smashed, and fried.  (My brother used to say, “Everybody loves soft-fried taters.”)  Just don’t make potato salad, which isn’t a food.

Once again, this list is getting long, so I’ll finish the rest of the month in the next post.  Click here to find the other entries in this list.

the special days of July, pt 1

As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month.  As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.  But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.  This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis.  In other words, we try to make it more fun.  And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.

Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances in July:

  • National Blueberry Month — Ah, food is a good way to get things started!  While just a blueberry by itself may not be too exciting, you can eat blueberry cobbler with vanilla ice cream together for this celebration.
  • National Ice Cream Month — Speaking of ice cream… This is a joyous celebration, indeed!  And it lasts the whole month!  So obviously you should eat as much ice cream as possible.  And remember, diets don’t apply during holidays.  🙂
  • National Hot Dog Month — Another food!  I’m liking July’s holidays, so far.  🙂  Hot dogs don’t get much hype and attention among adults, but they are still good.  You can boil them for a while, or microwave them if you’re in a hurry, but the best way is to grill them until they get burnt on the outside.  It’s also quite acceptable (and tasty) to cover your hot dog in chili or cheese dip (or both).
  • National Anti-Boredom Month — I don’t ever get bored, because I always have stuff to do.  🙂  But for those who occasionally feel bored, let me make a few suggestions.  First, you should visit this blog every day, to keep up with all the new, original randomness.  And you should browse through the archives here (including the comments, which add to the “community” feel).  This blog has been going for over two years, and there’s a lot of funny stuff here.  If you get tired of reading, notice the food-related celebrations this month.  I don’t ever get bored with eating!  And if you get full, play some video games — they’re a lot of fun, plus they sharpen your brain and reflexes and coordination.
  • Unlucky Month for weddings — What?  Don’t be ridiculous.  There’s no need for superstitions and curses and saying something is unlucky.  Weddings, like life, are what you make them to be.  And if something goes wrong during the wedding or the preparation, don’t get all surprised, because it happens to everyone.
  • National Baked Bean Month — Ah, beans, the musical fruit.  I’ve also heard that beans are good for your heart…  🙂
  • National Picnic Month — Picnics are a good time.  I don’t often hear of people going on picnics these days, because everyone is so busy, but it sure makes for a great break if you take it during lunch on a work day.  I like going out to the Arkansas River, at Toad Suck Park, as well as a few other places.  But it seems like every time my wife and I go on a picnic, it’s really windy that day.
  • National Recreation Month — With all the food holidays crammed into July, it’s a good time for an emphasis on recreation.  You may think of recreation as playing sports or going on a hiking / camping type trip, and those things are part of it.  But the official definition says, “Refreshment of one’s mind or body after work through activity that amuses or stimulates; play.”  So that could include video games, too.  🙂

Now let’s look at the week-long observations / celebrations:

  • July 15-21 — Hug Week — This is self-explanatory.

There should be more good weekly celebrations.  I could think of some things.  But I’ll get into that another time.  Now we’ll continue on to the individual day holidays / observations / celebrations:

  • 1 Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day — There’s a lot of potential with this day!  My favorite blend (at the moment) is sweet cream ice cream with crumbled Oreos and graham cracker crumbs in it (from Cold Stone Creamery).  Mmm…  Since this holiday is just one day, you might have to sample several different creative flavors.
  • 1 International Joke Day — On this day, you tell jokes all day.  This is especially fun during what are normally serious business meetings.  To get things started, I’ll tell a joke:  At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.  Little Johnny, a child in the Kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.  Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter?  Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side.  I think I’m going to have a wife.”
  • 2 I Forgot Day — I don’t know what this holiday is supposed to be about (and I’m not going to research it), so let’s look at it this way: this day, you can use “I forgot” as a valid excuse.  Like if someone doesn’t like practical jokes, you can cover their desk with foil or put a mudhole in their cubicle, and then just say you forgot they don’t like practical jokes.
  • 2 World UFO Day — Why do UFOs get a holiday?  It hasn’t even been definitively proven that they exist!
  • 3 Compliment Your Mirror Day — Why would you compliment your mirror?  Perhaps this is someone’s not-so-subtle attempt at creating a holiday where you can compliment yourself as you look in the mirror.  But I’m not complimenting my mirror — I think it has a grudge against me, because it always makes me look worse than I really do.
  • 3 Disobedience Day — This could easily be taken too far, so keep it under control.  That is, don’t do anything illegal.  You may be thinking this takes all the fun out of it, but there are still options.  For example, I’m thinking this day I’ll disobey the teachings of health experts about eating healthy.
  • 3 Stay out of the Sun Day — That means you can’t even walk in to work from your car, so you’ll just have to stay home.  Even if it’s cloudy, you have to stay home, because the sun’s UV rays go through clouds.  You’ll have to find ways to entertain yourself and pass the time inside, like by playing video games, eating, and sleeping.  🙂

Well, this list is getting long, so I’m going to continue it in the next post.   Click here to search for the other entries for July.

a strange question at a gas station

The other day I walked into a convenience store to get a candy bar, and they asked me, “Do you have gas?”

(Obviously they were talking about purchasing gasoline for my vehicle, or at least I hope so.  It’s somewhat disconcerting when strangers ask about my flatulence status.)