the special days of June, pt 1

As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month.  As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.  But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.  This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis.  In other words, we try to make it more fun.  And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.

Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances in June:

  • Candy Month — This is a good one to start with.  The best way to celebrate candy is to eat it!  So choose whatever you like, such as candy corn, candy bars, etc.
  • nachos (click to enlarge)Dairy Month — Dairy products include milk and cheese and ice cream.  That would also include chocolate milk, nachos / chip-n-dip, and milkshakes.  And this holiday / celebration lasts all month!  I can get excited about this one!
  • National Adopt a Cat Month — Doesn’t this seem kind of mean?  If you adopt a cat for a month, feeding it, playing with it, then you take it back to the pound or just release it into the wild — isn’t that mean?  Did someone create this as a secret way to treat cats badly?  I’m not going to participate in this one.
  • National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month — Who comes up with this?  I’m boycotting this holiday.   Besides, meat is a better meal than vegetables — even the Bible tells us that.
  • flowersRose Month — There’s a certain reader here who will appreciate this one.  (He also gets a kick out of this particular picture, for some reason.) 🙂
  • Turkey Lovers Month — Shouldn’t this be in November, because of Thanksgiving?  But I reckon people already eat lots of turkey then, so whoever created this wants us to eat it at other times.  I wonder if this was created by people who sell turkeys for consumption…
  • Great Outdoors Month — More outdoors, less work.  (Although, if you work outdoors, you might want a holiday for staying home to watch TV or play video games.)
  • National Iced Tea Month — This is what I’m talkin’ about!  Since I already drink tea on a regular basis (and you should too), here’s how this should be celebrated : all restaurants offer tea (both sweet and unsweet) for free for the whole month of June.
  • National Tennis Month — Tennis is an excellent sport!  Everyone should play.  It’s even fun if you don’t understand the rules and just want to hit the ball hard at each other.  🙂
  • Potty Training Awareness Month — Let’s face it, if you aren’t potty trained, you should be aware of it if you’re older than 2 years old.  If that’s you, the people around you are certainly aware of it!  I don’t think we need a holiday for awareness of this.

Now let’s move on to the weekly celebrations:

  • Week 2 — Email Week — Send a personal e-mail to all your friends.  And remember that you can use our Contact Us page to ask any question whatsoever.  I’ll be your friend.  (Sing with me: “Won’t you be my neighbor?”)
  • Week 4 — National Camping Week — Camping can be a good time.  Go out in nature and “rough it” for a few days.  Catch your own food and cook it over an open fire.  Sleep under the stars.  Or do like many people do — take a camper to sleep in, where you have a toilet and a real bed.  That’s not really “roughing it”, but it can still be a good time.  It’s refreshing to be out in nature, away from civilization.  Take some time away from technology, like TV, cell phones, the Internet (unless you’re out for several days and need to keep up with the latest randomness at this blog).  🙂

This is becoming a long list, so I’ll continue it in the next post.  Click here to search for the other entries for June.

clogged toilet on space station

In the news today, the toilet on the International Space Station is clogged and broken.  One source said it’s a “fabrication flaw” in the toilet’s compressor units.  NASA said the equipment isn’t providing enough suction on a regular basis.  So in other words, it doesn’t suck enough.  Or I guess you could say it sucks at sucking.  🙂

The news article says “this is no laughing matter”, which is an understatement for those on board the space station because they may have to start using plastic bags.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at it.  🙂

But what’s not funny is the cost of the toilet.  Granted, it’s a high-tech toilet, because in space there is no gravity, so you need some type of fan-based vacuum system.  But wait ’til you hear the cost — $19 million! And NASA bought this from Russia, because they said it was cheaper than building their own.  Also, this toilet is also like a local municipal treatment center, because it recycles the urine into drinking water.  So it’s definitely high-tech.  But $19 million?!?  I know there’s a lot of smart people at NASA, so surely they could come up with something cheaper.

the wonder of lightning bugs

Do you ever watch lightning bugs?  I was standing on my back porch last night, and there’s a huge open field behind my house.  I could see hundreds of lightning bugs, all of them flashing their patterns.

lightning bugThey’re also known as the firefly.  They create the light using certain enzymes that react together.  They use this light for our enjoyment.  🙂  No, really, it’s for mating purposes.  They create unique courtship patterns.  I don’t understand this.  Does this female firefly get interested because one guy has 5 flashes in quick succession?  Or does the rhythm of the flashing make her want to dance?  I guess it doesn’t matter…

Scientists are trying to reproduce this chemical (luciferase) in the lab through genetic engineering for other purposes.  So far they have been able to synthesize it and get other living things to produce the protein, such as mice (of course), silkworms, and potatoes.  [Ed. note: potatoes?!?  Would you eat glowing potatoes?]

What if they can cause humans to produce it?  Wouldn’t it be weird if we could make our butts light up?  🙂

how to justify eating more than normal at Larry’s Pizza

The staff of Buffet o’ Blog are going to Larry’s Pizza tomorrow for lunch, so it’s guaranteed to be a good time.  Yesterday we were discussing how great their pizza is and how easy it is to eat more food than normal.  So our Senior Statistics Correspondent, Turtle Dundee, created a formula using simple math that explains why it’s okay to eat more than normal there.  Here’s the computational sequence (don’t worry, it won’t give you a headache — it’s quite simple, really):

So even though we’re going to Larry’s tomorrow, I figure that’s really only 1.75 meals away.  There’s lunch today, that’s a full meal.  Then dinner tonight, eating a bit less than usual that’s .70 of a meal.  Breakfast tomorrow is just a nibble, that’s .05 of a meal.  Then for lunch tomorrow I’m 1.25 meals short, so that’s 2.25 meals for lunch.  And since nobody wants to eat dinner after Larry’s, that puts me up to 3.25 meals for lunch.

That would actually make a good slogan for them: Larry’s Pizza — It’s 3.25 meals good.

That makes sense to me!  For those of you who skipped over the numbers and don’t want to apply them in your head, I’ll take care of the math for you.  If a normal serving size is 4 pieces (which seems low to me, but we’ll start with that), then 4 times 3.25 equals 13 pieces of pizza.  If your normal serving size is 6 pieces, then applying that equation would result in 19.5 pieces of pizza, which is quite a haul for one meal!

Feel free to join us there for lunch tomorrow.  I guarantee it’ll be a good time.  If you’re wondering how to find us, just use these clues: 1) it’ll be all guys at one table; 2) the pizzas of choice will have lots of dead animals on them; 3) there will be randomness and laughing to overflow.  Oh, and we’ll be the coolest people there.  So you shouldn’t have any difficulty in recognizing us.  (We don’t put our pictures on the blog because this site already exceeds the daily recommended coolness quotient, and that might put us over the top.)