Tag: gas

the horror of brussels sprouts

In the news a few days ago, a zookeeper fed brussels sprouts to the gorillas, but found that it wasn’t a good idea:

ZOO managers have taken Brussels sprouts off the Christmas menu after the vegetable caused an attack of flatulence in their gorillas.

The staff at Chessington Zoo fed the giant apes on the seasonal favourite as they are filled with nutritional goodness.  However, they hadn’t reckoned with the gassy qualities of the tiny veggies.

Now the zoo has issued an apology after guests at the zoo expressed their horror at the potent smell that started emanating from the gorillas’ enclosure. …

“I don’t think any of us were prepared for a smell that strong.”

Did you notice it said “an attack of flatulence”?  Apparently it can be used as a weapon!

BTW, I don’t think humans should eat brussels sprouts, either…  I’m fairly certain they aren’t meant to be food…

why beans give you gas

You never know when you might be on the brink of a new scientific discovery.  I mean, science happens all the time, even if you’re not looking for it.  So you have to keep your mind open to new hypotheses and theories.

The other night I was reheating some Taco Soup.  It features beef, corn, hominy, pinto beans, kidney beans, and various seasonings like taco seasoning, Ranch seasoning, and Rotel.  (And it’s really scrumptious — much better than any normal soup.  You add cheese, tortilla chips, and sour cream to it.  Mmm…)  Anyway, it has two types of beans in it, as I listed.  I was reheating a bowl of it that was leftover, and I covered the bowl with wax paper.  It was a good thing I covered it, because some of the beans exploded!

So where does science come into this?  Well, I’m not a scientist, but I have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.  So here’s what happened.  Beans don’t normally explode at room temperature, but when they became hot and pressurized, they exploded.  And then I realized that must be what happens when we eat them!  Our bodies run at a temperature around 98.6 degrees, which is quite warm.  And as our digestive system is breaking down the food, there’s a lot of pressure inside.  So while your body processes the beans, they overheat and over-pressurize, which causes them to explode inside you.  And that explosion has to find an outlet, or there will be much discomfort in your stomach.  As you guessed, the outlet is your butt.

I never learned that in school, but it makes sense.  Perhaps the teachers were trying to be politically correct and not talk about gas and farting.  Some people get offended about such things, for some reason.  But I have no reason to hold back here, so I present my unvarnished scientific hypothesis.

Now you know…

Maybe next time I’ll figure out why beans are good for your heart…  🙂

give thanks for food

Well, we’re nearing the annual Turkey Day (or Thanksgiving, as most call it).   It is, of course, a day to give thanks (which I covered on my other blog), but here at Buffet o’ Blog we tend to take a lighter look at life.  So here’s some of the things I’m thankful for (and will be extra thankful for on Thursday):

pecan-pieturkey and dressing
ham
macaroni & cheese
hashbrown casserole
mashed taters
gravy
sweet tea
cookies
pecan pie
chocolate pie

I could probably think of a few more things from a typical Thanksgiving feast, but you get the idea.  I am VERY thankful for the great food that we get to eat.  It’s easy to take it for granted, because for most of us it happens every year, but not everyone gets to enjoy such a great feast.  So I really am thankful for the wonderful food I’ll be eating a lot of.

Whoops, I was getting kinda serious there.  It’s good stuff, what I said, but I don’t want to let it take over this blog.   So here’s a Thanksgiving joke for you:

After Thanksgiving dinner, some guys go out in the yard and pass it.

Do you know the answer?   The “correct answer” is football, but there are other possibly correct answers.  🙂  That’s all I’ll say about that!

Now, in closing, I hope you all have plenty of food to eat, and a comfortable place to rest afterwards.  🙂

Is it illegal to pass gas?

Is it illegal to pass gas?  Usually not, as far as I know, but a man named Jose Cruz found out otherwise.  This week, in South Charleston, West Virginia, Cruz was arrested for driving under the influence (DUI).  When police were trying to get his fingerprints back at the station, he passed gas on an officer.  Here’s what was filed in the official police report:

During processing Ptlm. Cook was taking the defendant’s fingerprints while Ptlm. Parsons was typing data into the Intoximeters 5000 machine.  Ptlm. Parsons was in a chair approx. 4-5 feet away from the fingerprinting station.   The defendant scooted the 4 feet to Ptlm. Parsons, away from officer Cook, and lifted his leg and passed gas loudly on Ptlm. Parsons.   Then defendant then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto Ptlm. Parsons.   The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Ptlm. Parsons.

Ironically, he next had to take the breath test, and he couldn’t give a sufficient sample because he was having trouble breathing.  🙂

For doing all that, they charged him with “battery on an officer” and “obstructing an officer”.  I realize no one wants to be farted on, but is it really a criminal offense?   Did the officer think it was chemical warfare?   (Maybe it’s psychological warfare.)  Two days later, police dropped the charges relating to his flatulence.

Although, now that I think about it, the police were just trying to maintain law and odor.  🙂