Tag: funny

the special days of June, pt 2

Now we’re going to continue our look at the special days / holidays / celebrations / observations of June.  These are the daily holidays.

1 Dare Day — I dare you to read this blog every day for a month and then try to truthfully tell me it’s not funny.  🙂

1 Flip a Coin Day — Uhh, why is this a holiday?

2 National Bubba Day — Why do people named Bubba get their own holiday?  I should get my own holiday.  It could be called National Beppo Day.  🙂

2 National Rocky Road Day — I’m going to assume this is talking about ice cream and not bumpy pavement.

3 Egg Day — You can make a number of good meals with eggs, like omelets, cakes, cookies, etc.  Or you can just cook them and have some bacon and/or sausage on the side, as part of a balanced breakfast.  🙂

4 Cheese Day — Ah, the power of cheese!  You may think that’s just some gimmicky promotional phrase for commercials, but think about it — cheese makes the world a better place.  And cheese can make your day better.  In fact, today I had lunch at my favorite restaurant and was treated to a free large cheese dip.  It certainly made the day better.  🙂

4 First Ford Made — This isn’t really a holiday, but more of a remembrance.  The first operational car was made in 1896.  Can you imagine life without vehicles?

4 Applesauce Cake Day — What?  I’ve never heard of an applesauce cake.  Have you ever had one?  Hopefully it’s not just a cake made with applesauce.  If so, then it doesn’t deserve its own holiday.

4 Hug Your Cat Day — If you don’t have a cat, I guess you’re just left out of this one.  Although June is adopt-a-cat month…

4 Old Maid’s Day — This is a day for the single ladies who aren’t getting any younger.  Here’s to all the fair maidens who are still waiting on Mr. Right.  Although, is a fair maiden the same as an old maid?  I don’t think I should continue this discussion…  🙂

5 World Environment Day — Today you should be thankful that we have an environment in this world, and that it’s habitable.  We take it for granted, but we have the best environment among all the other planets in our solar system.  Earth’s environment is much better than Mars.  We’ve discussed this before, and living on Mars would be worse than you expect.

6 National Doughnut Day — This is a good reason for a holiday.  Donuts are scrumptious.  I prefer the chocolate-filled variety.  Also worth mentioning is the infamous Krispy Kreme doughnuts, particularly right after the come off the assembly line.  They almost melt in your mouth when they’re still hot and fresh.  Mmm…

6 National Gardening Exercise Day — One website that listed this holiday suggested you “get out and exercise with your plants”.  WHAT?  Who came up with that?  This is just silly.

7 National Chocolate Ice Cream Day — Now we’re back to a good holiday.  I don’t have to tell you how good chocolate ice cream is.  And if all you have is vanilla ice cream, you can get some Oreos and crumble them up in there, or add Hershey’s syrup to it, or both.  My research has proven that all three together is awesome.

8 Name Your Poison Day — Some people use this phrase to ask how you’d like to die.  Personally, I plan to live forever.  (So far, so good!)  So I’m not participating in this holiday at all.

10 Iced Tea Day — It’s already National Iced Tea Month, so I don’t know why we need an individual day for it.  If you’re already drinking extra tea for the month holiday, I guess you can drink even more tea on this day.  Just don’t stray too far from a bathroom if you’re drinking 2 to 3 times your normal amount of tea.

12 Red Rose Day — Again, this is already Rose Month, which I don’t care about.  But if you want to buy some red roses this day for your wife/girlfriend, you might could get a good deal on them (as opposed to February, when the price is run up because of Valentine’s Day).

13 Blame Someone Else Day — This holiday is always the first Friday the 13th of the year, so it’s not always in June.  But this year it is, so here goes.  I don’t think this needs to be a holiday, because so many people already do this on a regular basis, and it’s destroying our country.  Folks need to learn to take personal responsibility, especially our politicians.

15 Smile Power Day — Smiling is good for you.  And it helps those around you, too.  But I should add a caveat — some people say it’s easier to smile than to frown, which may be true, but it’s not the whole story — it’s actually easier to look like you don’t care.  🙂  But really, smiling is healthy for you, along with laughing.  That’s why this blog exists.

This is getting long, so I’m going to finish this in the next post.  Click here to search for the other entries for June.

the special days of June, pt 1

As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month.  As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.  But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.  This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis.  In other words, we try to make it more fun.  And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.

Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances in June:

  • Candy Month — This is a good one to start with.  The best way to celebrate candy is to eat it!  So choose whatever you like, such as candy corn, candy bars, etc.
  • nachos (click to enlarge)Dairy Month — Dairy products include milk and cheese and ice cream.  That would also include chocolate milk, nachos / chip-n-dip, and milkshakes.  And this holiday / celebration lasts all month!  I can get excited about this one!
  • National Adopt a Cat Month — Doesn’t this seem kind of mean?  If you adopt a cat for a month, feeding it, playing with it, then you take it back to the pound or just release it into the wild — isn’t that mean?  Did someone create this as a secret way to treat cats badly?  I’m not going to participate in this one.
  • National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month — Who comes up with this?  I’m boycotting this holiday.   Besides, meat is a better meal than vegetables — even the Bible tells us that.
  • flowersRose Month — There’s a certain reader here who will appreciate this one.  (He also gets a kick out of this particular picture, for some reason.) 🙂
  • Turkey Lovers Month — Shouldn’t this be in November, because of Thanksgiving?  But I reckon people already eat lots of turkey then, so whoever created this wants us to eat it at other times.  I wonder if this was created by people who sell turkeys for consumption…
  • Great Outdoors Month — More outdoors, less work.  (Although, if you work outdoors, you might want a holiday for staying home to watch TV or play video games.)
  • National Iced Tea Month — This is what I’m talkin’ about!  Since I already drink tea on a regular basis (and you should too), here’s how this should be celebrated : all restaurants offer tea (both sweet and unsweet) for free for the whole month of June.
  • National Tennis Month — Tennis is an excellent sport!  Everyone should play.  It’s even fun if you don’t understand the rules and just want to hit the ball hard at each other.  🙂
  • Potty Training Awareness Month — Let’s face it, if you aren’t potty trained, you should be aware of it if you’re older than 2 years old.  If that’s you, the people around you are certainly aware of it!  I don’t think we need a holiday for awareness of this.

Now let’s move on to the weekly celebrations:

  • Week 2 — Email Week — Send a personal e-mail to all your friends.  And remember that you can use our Contact Us page to ask any question whatsoever.  I’ll be your friend.  (Sing with me: “Won’t you be my neighbor?”)
  • Week 4 — National Camping Week — Camping can be a good time.  Go out in nature and “rough it” for a few days.  Catch your own food and cook it over an open fire.  Sleep under the stars.  Or do like many people do — take a camper to sleep in, where you have a toilet and a real bed.  That’s not really “roughing it”, but it can still be a good time.  It’s refreshing to be out in nature, away from civilization.  Take some time away from technology, like TV, cell phones, the Internet (unless you’re out for several days and need to keep up with the latest randomness at this blog).  🙂

This is becoming a long list, so I’ll continue it in the next post.  Click here to search for the other entries for June.

clogged toilet on space station

In the news today, the toilet on the International Space Station is clogged and broken.  One source said it’s a “fabrication flaw” in the toilet’s compressor units.  NASA said the equipment isn’t providing enough suction on a regular basis.  So in other words, it doesn’t suck enough.  Or I guess you could say it sucks at sucking.  🙂

The news article says “this is no laughing matter”, which is an understatement for those on board the space station because they may have to start using plastic bags.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at it.  🙂

But what’s not funny is the cost of the toilet.  Granted, it’s a high-tech toilet, because in space there is no gravity, so you need some type of fan-based vacuum system.  But wait ’til you hear the cost — $19 million! And NASA bought this from Russia, because they said it was cheaper than building their own.  Also, this toilet is also like a local municipal treatment center, because it recycles the urine into drinking water.  So it’s definitely high-tech.  But $19 million?!?  I know there’s a lot of smart people at NASA, so surely they could come up with something cheaper.

add your own captions, Barack Obama and John Kerry

Here’s our next caption contest.  (Yes, it’s a contest — while there are no official prizes, if you make people laugh, you “win”.)  All you have to do is write a caption for this picture.  This week we’re featuring a photo from the campaign trail, featuring presidential wanna-be John Kerry giving advice (or consolation) to presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Have fun with this one…  🙂

John Kerry and Barack Obama

(To see the other entries in our caption contest, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)