I’ve been watching some of the Olympics, and while I’m no expert in diving, I have learned that it’s best to have a small splash, if you want a high score.  But if I was one of the last divers, and my score was already too low to win, I’d do a cannonball and try to splash the judges.  I might not get a lot of points, but I’d be on highlight clips all around the world.  I might could even get to tour the talk-show circuit for doing something so crazy.

Actually, according to the website Future Update, which reports the news of the year 2028 (through the miracles of time travel), synchronized belly flops will be an Olympic sport in 2028.  If so, I’m going to enter and win!  I’m already good at that, and I wouldn’t have to practice much, except maybe gain a few more pounds…