the special days of May, pt 2

Now we will continue our look at the special days of May.  This part will focus on holidays or observances on individual days.

  • 1 May Day — This is supposed to be a celebration of spring and the coming of summer.  In Hawaii, it’s known as “Lei Day”.  In many countries, it’s a one to three day holiday.  If it means getting off work, we should celebrate it here in the U.S.
  • 1 Space Day — I suppose you can just stare off into space this day.  It would be great if we could all get a free trip to space, so we can really appreciate it.  But that’s probably not in the space exploration budget…
  • 3 Lumpy Rug Day — Uhh… what exactly are you supposed to celebrate here?  I’d figure you don’t want your rug to be lumpy… but to each his own.
  • 4 Bird Day — This holiday has gone to the birds…
  • 4 National Candied Orange Peel Day — What?  I didn’t know people even did this?  Why?
  • 4 National Weather Observers’ Day — I sometimes observe the weather, so I reckon this is a day for me!  Maybe there will be a thunderstorm with lots of lightning on this day!
  • 5 Cinco de Mayo — I hear a lot of people talk about this holiday every year, but it’s supposed to be a day to be proud of your Hispanic descent.  So it doesn’t apply to me (or most of the people I hear talking about it).
  • 5 National Hoagie Day — This is a holiday I can support.  This day you should eat a large hoagie / sub / hero sandwich, piling on the toppings of your choice.  Remember, since it’s a holiday, diets don’t apply, so add all the toppings you want (including bacon).
  • 6 Beverage Day — My favorite beverage is sweet tea, specifically BOH tea from Malaysia (which is difficult to acquire in these parts).  But I drink this regularly, so for it to be a special day, restaurants ought to make beverages be free.  It sounds reasonable to me.  🙂
  • 6 No Diet Day — This is what I’m talking about!  This should be a holiday every month!  Like it says, no diets apply, so eat whatever you want this day.
  • 7 National Tourism Day — If we’re supposed to support tourism on this day, that means we need to be off work!  You can’t be a tourist in your home area, so you need time off work to travel around.
  • 8 No Socks Day — The person who created this day professes that not wearing socks will reduce your laundry load, therefore it’s good for the environment.  If that’s true, we might as well take it a step further.  Just stay home this day, wearing only your underwear, and playing video games.  🙂
  • 9 Lost Sock Memorial Day — A memorial for lost socks?  There’s no need to get mushy or sentimental over that!  Just buy some new socks.  Although, if you happen to have a problem of mad goats eating socks out of your dryer, then that could get expensive, but you might want to do something about that…
  • 10 Clean up Your Room Day — Let’s not and pretend we did…
  • 11 Mother’s Day — I’m very thankful that my mom had me.  You should be, too.  Because if I hadn’t been born, the world would really be missing out…  🙂
  • pizza11 Eat What You Want Day — Obviously diets don’t apply on this day, either, because what I want doesn’t fit into normal diets.  Hmm, what should I eat this day?  Pizza is always a good choice, and cheeseburgers, and nachos, and Mexican all-you-can-eat places would be a great place to go, and seafood buffets, and fudge brownies and ice cream with chocolate syrup drizzled over it, and I could go on.  This really needs to be more than one day!!!
  • 11 Twilight Zone Day — Dun dun DUN!
  • 12 Fatigue Syndrome Day — One of the suggested activities today is to sleep in.
  • 12 Limerick Day — If you want to flex your poetic non-muscles, this is the day.  Perhaps someone would like to write one in the comments section.  (Any time is fine.)
  • 13 Leprechaun Day — Has anyone ever seen one of these Irish midgets?  (Or is it a faerie?)  If you catch one, ask him where his treasure is hidden, because he’s supposed to tell you.  I could use some extra treasure, so let me know if you know where one is.
  • 14 Dance Like a Chicken Day — Do chickens dance?  I dunno.  According to one website, this is a “tradition at every wedding reception”.  I’m glad we didn’t know about it at my wedding!  There were way too many people with cameras there for me to act the fool.  But I don’t believe that anyway — I think they’re just making that up, trying to make people act stupid for others’ enjoyment.
  • chocolate chip cookies15 National Chocolate Chip Day — This is a most excellent use of a holiday (much better than the last one!).  This day, you should eat as many chocolate chip cookies as you want.  And have plenty of milk handy, too.  I don’t know why, but milk goes really well with chocolate chip cookies.

This list is getting considerably long, so I’m going to continue it in the next post.  (Click here to search for the other ones.)

my washboard abs

I’ve got another personal tidbit that goes along the lines of the last post.  I’ve told people that I have rock-hard, “six-pack” abs underneath a layer of fat, and I’ve received the strangest looks of disbelief.  For whatever reason, some people find it inconceivable that I have all these tight muscles on my abs.  I suppose these people have to see to believe (but blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe!).

washboard absWell, now I have proof.  (No, the picture is not of me.  Please continue reading to understand why.)  Perhaps you’ve seen those TV commercials where they’re selling some weight-loss pill or diet plan.  They’re on all the time, so you’ve probably seen them.  Next time one comes on, look carefully at the before and after pictures.  From just losing weight, these people went from having a pudgy midsection to having well-defined, muscular abs.  And this is just from following some diet.  (Surely they wouldn’t be misleading people.  I mean, if it’s on TV, it must be true!)

So now you know.  It works the same way with me.  If I were to drop a few extra pounds, you could see my washboard abs.  You may be wondering why I don’t just lose the weight and look like that.  Well, it’s pretty simple, really.  I like to eat, plus I’m not into all that vanity and stuff.  Besides, I’ve got plenty of natural charm and charisma for impressing the ladies.  If I were to bring my body up to its full potential, that might be too much awesome for one person.  Then my friends might get jealous, and I really wouldn’t want to cause them to stumble.  So I keep my muscles in disguise.  The strength is there for when it’s necessary.  And I have nothing to prove.

a toast to continued success here

We have now finished the calendar month of September, and in terms of site traffic it was the most successful month ever here at Buffet o’ Blog.  There were 2,539 pageloads in the month, which doesn’t include any while the administrators are logged in.

So I would like to say thanks to all of you who are here reading this blog.  It’s really a lot of fun to put this together, and I’m glad some people are enjoying it.  Let’s have a toast to our continued success.  (What?!?  We’re all out of toast?  Who let this happen?!?)  Well, I just heard from an ex-employee that we are out of toast.  So here’s what we’ll do.  The next time you eat toast, think of this blog.  To make this celebration more special, go ahead and load your toast up with all the butter and jelly you want to, and consider the calories on us.  Or if you want cheese toast, feel free to melt some cheese over your toast.  And you can add bacon, too.  Go all out.  Don’t worry about your diet, because it’s a special event.