Tag: bears

if you talk about bears, people will do what you say

There’s an article at the Huffington Post that explains why people like and follow Sarah Palin — it’s because she talks about mama grizzlies.  I know, some of you will think I’m making that up.  It does sound like randomness, which is what this blog specializes in, but it’s an actual article and it looks to be serious.   The author of it goes into archetypes and the “collective unconscious” proposed by Carl Jung.   You can read a summary of it with some quotes from it and some analysis here: Why do people like Sarah Palin?

What I got out of it (besides the obvious political slandering) is that if you talk about bears, people will do what you say.   And that during troubled conditions experienced by large numbers of people, “there is no lunacy people under the domination of an archetype will not fall prey to.”   There’s plenty of nationwide troubled conditions already — housing crisis, foreclosures, unemployment, layoffs, lack of job openings, lack of raises, inflation, stupid politicians, along with natural disasters, so the great unwashed masses are ripe for some psychological brainwashing via archetypes.  So I’m going to start talking about bears more, and then you’ll subconsciously be controlled by my influence.  Don’t worry, I’ll make the world a better place.  I only use my powers for good.

Did you know wild bears are important for the balance of nature such as sheep or salmon?  Also, bears and people are very similar in the kinds of food we eat, the habitats we prefer, and even our mutual curiosity.  You should vote for morally and fiscally responsible politicians from now on.  Bears are generally diurnal.   In autumn some bear species forage large amounts of fermented fruits which affects their behavior.  Also, you should make a generous donation to Buffet o’ Blog.  (Hey, we need a greater budget to do more good!)  Supposedly bears’ closest living relatives are seals.   (Uhh… I’m not sure about that, even though it’s on Wikipedia.)

Before you wander off to another branch of the Internet, I have one more bit of randomness related to all this.  (Don’t worry, this one isn’t taking control of your unconscious.)  While reading up some on Jung and archetypes, I saw a link in a search engine to Jung’s Wikipedia page, and on the search results page it said:

Carl Gustav Jung (German pronunciation: [Ë?kaË?É?̯l Ë?É¡Ê?staf Ë?jÊ?Å?];

I think something got lost in translation…

viewer mail, issue #10

It’s time for another installment of viewer mail!  Let’s open up the ol’ mailbag.  As always, we are taking actual search terms used to find this site, and/or questions submitted via the “Contact Us” form on the homepage.  Then we add our unique analysis and commentary, and it’s always a good time.  Let’s begin…

  • arby’s all you can eat — Capital idea!  Those beef ‘n cheddar melts are good, and having an unlimited supply of those and Arby’s curly fries would be most excellent!  I posited this idea to the Buffet o’ Blog staff, and Turtle Dundee said, “Arby’s all you can eat would be made of pure awesome, and would result in the eating of every cow in Texas and every curly potato in Idaho.”  Someone should suggest this to the higher powers at Arby’s.
  • bear attackingturn homemade bread into a bear — I… I… I don’t know what to say.  (But that’s never stopped me.)  For one, I don’t think it’s possible, at least according to the current laws of physics.  Second, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THIS?  Bread is a good thing (while still fresh) — you can make sammiches and burgers with it, and you can cover it with gravy.  Bears will kill you.  Now, I suppose that bears are edible, if you trim away much fat and then tenderize/boil the meat for many hours, but the bread is already food, so why do you want to do this?  The only thing I can think of is if you’re going to buy all the sliced bread you can and then create an army of bears to conquer the world.  But I’d rather you not do that.
  • why does mexican food cause headache — It does?!?  Since when?  If this is happening to you, then either you’ve got some really bad Mexican food or you’re allergic to it.  My own research* has revealed that Mexican food makes you feel better.  (* I eat Mexican food at least once per week, so I have extensively researched this one!)  So if you’re getting a headache every time, you need to switch restaurants.  Because there’s nothing inherently wrong with cheese enchiladas, chicken burritos, chicken tacos, chile rellenos, tostadas, and cheese dip.  I would eat this kind of food nearly every day if I still had a metabolism…
  • dealing with too much gas — Speaking of Mexican food…  🙂  This happens to us all, doesn’t it?  Sometimes you just have a lot of flatulence.  Well, since the issue is that there is a lot of gaseous pressure inside you, the only way to resolve it is to let it out.  (Now wasn’t that simple?)  I know, sometimes you’re in a public place and some people get offended way too easily, but you have to ask yourself — would you rather be uncomfortable or would you rather they be uncomfortable?  For me, the decision is easy to make.
  • throwing pies — Does this ever happen anymore?  If it does, I never see it.  I have seen it happen a bunch on The Three Stooges, and it always looked like a good time.  Even those aristocratic type people would get involved, once they got past their initial default offendedness.  I think there should be a place where this is the norm, as I have written about before.
  • can ice cream cure headaches? — I’ve never heard that it does, but it makes the pain easier to bear.  Perhaps I should research this one…
  • how to build a billion dollar palace — This one’s easy — get a billion dollars!  🙂  Really, that’s what it’s going to take, or at least close to a billion dollars.  You aren’t going to build one of those by hand.  And if you have a billion dollars, builders and architects will build just about anything you can dream of.  So your question has a really simple answer.  Just don’t ask me how to get a billion dollars, because I’m still researching that one.
  • how can someone just leave — This is another really easy one.  Just watch…