Tag: bacon

viewer mail, issue #14

One of my regular readers recently pointed out that I haven’t written an issue of viewer mail in a while, and what they said was true.   There’s no good excuse for that, but to appease certain people, I’ll make an excuse anyway: I had stuff to do.  🙂

But enough rambling, well, rambling without a point, anyway.   Let’s get to the viewer mail.   As always, these are actual search terms that led people to this blog.  I will provide answers, advice, skepticism, ridicule, or whatever is necessary in response to these phrases.

  • newly invented vitamins and minerals — I have nothing against science and inventing, but I don’t think we need more vitamins and minerals.  I already have enough trouble eating all of them I’m supposed to.  HOWEVER, if these new vitamins and minerals can somehow make things like bacon and gravy healthy, then I’m all for it!  That would be a great invention — not only would you improve the quality of life of millions of people, but you’d make billions of dollars!
  • volcano-kilauea-in-sept-84-shot-450m-high1“survive a volcanic eruption” — I can help you here.  The key for survival in that situation is to be far away.   It’s really that simple.  You really want to avoid the hot molten magma / lava, because it can burn through almost anything, including concrete and steel.  So it’s best to be far away.   And don’t try to cook marshmallows or hot dogs over the lava, because it can reach 2000 degrees; thus your food will melt, as will you.
  • friends that are too cool — It’s unfortunate this happens, but it’s a way of life.  Your only options are to either improve yourself, or just give them their space.  We had a guest editorial by Thomas Wayne about this one time, so you can read a few people’s thoughts on it in the comments on that post.
  • chocolate chip cookiescookies for breakfast — Some health nuts may say cookies are not a “breakfast food” or that they aren’t suitable for breakfast somehow.   To that I say “hogwash!”.   I have conducted my own extensive research in this area, and the results are conclusive that cookies make a great breakfast.   Milk is a good beverage of choice to go with your breakfast of cookies.
  • smoking/oxygen — I’m glad you brought this up, whoever you are.  Have you ever realized that smoking cigarettes and cigars burns oxygen out of our atmosphere?  Thus smoking contributes to global warming!   You probably won’t hear Al Gore mention that, because it might make some people mad, but I’m not afraid to rock the boat.

Well, that’s all we have time for today.   I really do have stuff to do.  🙂  Be sure to check out the other issues of viewer mail for more answers to the stuff you’re searching for.

chocolate-covered bacon on a stick

Last night I had the Buffet o’ Blog staff over to my house, along with a classified secret guest.  Food was not specifically on the agenda, but foodstuffs were brought nonetheless.   There were chocolate chip cookies, which are always good, but the unique item we had (for which I’m writing this) was chocolate-covered bacon.  And it wasn’t just any bacon — it was Petit Jean peppered bacon.

The flavor was unique: the salty goodness of bacon, the spicy peppered seasoning of this variety, and the sweetness of chocolate.  And to make it even cooler, it was on a stick.

I didn’t get a picture this time, because it was quickly devoured.   But you can imagine.  At least this time, no one brought a “gut bomb“.  🙂

The collective conclusion was that it was awesome.  Although it probably would’ve been even better if it wasn’t peppered bacon, because adding spicy to the salty plus sugary mix was almost too much.  But I’d eat it again, either way.  🙂

our buffet o’ bacon

Last night I had the entire Buffet o’ Blog staff at my house, and we created a Buffet o’ Bacon.  There was regular crispy bacon, baked bacon-wrapped smokies with BBQ sauce (which were awesome!), shish-ka-bobs with bacon, ham, and cheese, and there was some bacon-wrapped croissants.  It even got a little crazy when someone put candy corn on some of the bacon-wrapped croissants before putting them in the oven.

Needless to say, we had a great time.  We shared our unique analysis of the second presidential debate (and it’s too bad our discussion wasn’t recorded for a podcast), and we did some multiplayer network gaming (to build an empire and conquer the world), and we ate lots of bacon.

I do have to say the bacon-wrapped croissants didn’t turn out as well as expected.  Here’s a picture before cooking, when it seemed like a good idea:

The problem was, most of the croissants absorbed all of the bacon grease, and thus were quite “heavy”.  We’re gonna have a talk with that “Important Doctor” that frequents this blog, because he’s talked of using bacon grease in your diet, and there’s some flaws with that plan.   I still think the bacon and cheese plan might work, as long as you drain the bacon grease.

Ironically, the ones with the candy corn turned out pretty good.  The candy melted and most of it ran off, and the bacon grease drained off some, too.  So what was left was like a cracker with bacon and a honey glaze.

All in all, that evening was the awesome!  I do think we’ll have to do this again…

quotes about bacon

I’m going to continue the bacon theme for one more post.  This time I’m going to list a few quotes about bacon.  (This is not all the quotes I have that refer to bacon, but the ones mostly about bacon.)  Enjoy…

I’m not Canadian, although I tend to like their bacon.

Cookin’ MC’s like a pound of bacon. ~ Vanilla Ice, in “Ice Ice Baby”

If it can’t be fried in bacon grease, it ain’t worth cooking, let alone eating. ~ Southern proverb

I’m never gonna get used to the 31st century.  Caffeinated bacon?  Baconated grapefruit?  ADMIRAL Crunch? ~ Fry, from Futurama

I used to have trouble choking down the pills I have to take for controlling my cholesterol, but it’s a lot easier now that I wrap them in bacon. ~ Brad Simanek

The other week, while sitting over a bacon omelet and rambling on about how much I love the “bacon, egg, cheese on toast combo”, a good buddy looks across the table at me and utters a sentence I may never forget as long as I live: “Yeah, because bacon is the candy bar of meat.” ~ Adam McArthur

I’d forgotten what an honest sandwich it is.  For those of you not familiar, “BLT” stands for “bacon, lettuce, and tomato”.  A lot of people think the “B” stands for “bread”, and I can understand someone not wanting a lettuce and tomato sandwich.  But, the bread is implied in the word “sandwich”.  Anyway, it’s an American original.  Everyone should have a BLT as soon as they can. ~ Stephen Colbert

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~ Doug Larson

As soon as I learned what the smell of bacon was, I learned how to make it. ~ Rush Limbaugh

There’s egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate’, brandy and a fried egg on top of spam. ~ Monty Python

Veggie bacon?!?  That sounds like a sign of the Apocalypse. ~ Turtle Dundee

If you want to see the recent posts about bacon, click here to search the site for “bacon”.