Does poop contain gold?

The other day I was in a conversation that got random really fast. Someone started sharing some scientific trivia, and they said you could burn a bucket of cow manure and get some rare elements like gold. I was immediately skeptical and made that known. They went to get their book of random scientific stuff (not the actual title) and found the reference. It turns out that someone had taken cow urine and boiled it to produce something useful. At this point I’m still skeptical, but figure since it’s actually published in a book and not just some obscure blog, it’s worth a minute of research. The results were surprising (and not all related to the original article)…

Apparently some doctor in India believes that cow urine has healing powers and can supposedly cure 70 to 80 incurable diseases like diabetes. It’s also sold as “highly effective products for preventive medicine” in some countries. (So if you don’t get sick, it worked, and you should buy more!) However — and this is important — there is thus far no scientific proof about it healing anything. Some studies have shown that it can lead to significant side effects, including death. So I wouldn’t recommend it. But it is good to use as fertilizer to grow actually edible food…

During my research, I saw where one guy said, “I drink cow urine every day. That is why I do not have Covid right now.” That is faulty reasoning, and it could easily be countered by someone saying they do NOT drink cow urine at all, and thus they don’t have Covid. But then again, how many people who drink cow urine every day catch Covid? The number has to be really small, right? (Surely there are very few people who could even be in that group.)

Some doctor made a “wonder drug” of cow’s milk, cow’s urine, cow excrement (soaked in water), and butter, and they claimed it will cure “99 percent of diseases”. I’m no professional doctor, but I’m fairly certain that’s a load of crap (both literally and figuratively).

Back on point, there has been someone who claimed to have found gold in cow urine and dung. Perhaps if you want to investigate the microscopic level you could find some — I have heard that ocean water has gold in it, but it’s such tiny amounts that it’s not worth doing anything with.

Thanks to the internet’s amazing ability to lead you down rabbit trails you didn’t even know existed, I just learned that human poop does contain trace amounts of gold, silver, platinum, copper, and rare elements like palladium and vanadium that are used in cell phones and computers. So is your poop worth its weight in gold? Not quite. These particles are about 100 times smaller than the width of a human hair, and of course there are other non-valuable particles in there to sort through. (That job would stink!) It’s estimated that an American city with a population of 1 million sends down the drain about $13 million worth of precious metals each year. So maybe it’s worth finding some automated way to filter it. Actually, I bet this becomes a legitimate business someday, when someone figures out how to efficiently extract the valuable elements from all the worthless elements.

People have tried to figure out alchemy for years (converting a metal into gold), but perhaps this is the closest we’ll get.

a pet alligator on a leash

From the is-this-for-real department…

A Phillies fan tried to get into the baseball game with an alligator on a leash, saying it was a “service animal”. Judging by the picture, this alligator is at least 6 feet long, which is certainly large enough to seriously injure someone.

Surely this is a prank or joke or Photoshop. Has an alligator ever been domesticated? They don’t really care for humans, in general. I’ve never heard of one being a pet. And the danger factor is off-the-charts — one bite and you could lose an arm or a leg. So I’d guess this is not real. However, people do weird things, and it would not surprise me if someone actually attempted this. It doesn’t make any logical sense, but since when has that stopped some people?

Okay, so I did some research, and this actually is an emotional support animal named Wally for someone in Philadelphia. So it’s legit, but why? How does an alligator provide emotional support? I don’t get it. Honestly, if an alligator is what is giving you emotional support maybe feelings aren’t for you… 🙂

FYI, the gator wasn’t allowed into the game. I hope security took advantage of the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to say “See you later alligator!”

what you don’t know about Oreos

Let me tell you two things about Oreos that you may not know (since I made it up).

1) There are three servings of Oreos per package. Forget what the nutritional information box says on the back — that’s just to appease the FDA with their serving size suggestions and such. The evidence is that they are divided neatly into three rows, so you know how many to eat per sitting without having to count them. It’s a clever design.

2) Regular Oreos should be called Lite Oreos. The Double-Stuf Oreos should be considered normal, because they have the ideal balance between creme filling and cookie shell. (I realize this is my opinion, so others may think differently, but I have done exhaustive research on this topic and I’m right.)

Now you know…

BONUS TRIVIA: Do you know how many flavors of Oreos that have been made? (I wouldn’t expect anyone to know the literal number, but do you think it’s over 30 or 50 or 100?) One count I found is 143 different flavors of Oreos. I know I’ve seen a few weird ones in the store occasionally, but I had no idea there were that many. (Actually, I usually try to NOT look at the Oreo display in the grocery store, because I would always want to buy a package but I also want to be healthy, so they must be eaten in moderation.) Anyway, I happened across a website about snacks that ranked all 143 flavors of Oreos they found. The list starts with the worst ones, which are the most interesting (to read about, not to eat). If you want to be surprised at the crazy ideas:

REVIEW: Ranking Over 100 Oreo Flavors Because We’re Fat. (Note: The article and site should be at least PG-rated, if that matters to you. Also, it lists 132 reviews, but some are combined.)

confused about fashion statement

I normally don’t care much about fashion — IMO people should wear whatever they want, as long as it doesn’t cause problems for others. And I’ve probably embarrassed my wife with my lack of fashion and lack of concern about fashion. However, I’ll admit there are times for dressing nicer. But I saw this pic in the news and just don’t get it. While Justin Bieber’s wife is promoting some new beauty product, she’s dressed up, and he looks absolutely goofy, like he lost a bet and had to wear something stupid.

Source: the good, the bad, and the ugly in fashion today. At the link, you can see another picture showing his yellow crocs shoes (which also don’t coordinate).

Can somebody explain this to me? Is he being trendy in any way whatsoever? Or did he reach the point of not caring what anybody thinks? Does she not care that he looks the opposite of her? Why did she not leave him at home for this event? Did he just climb out of bed while she’s walking out the door and he didn’t know what’s going on? Is he trying to look bad? Is he trolling her?

Either way, I still don’t understand fashion. If you have any explanation (serious or not), please leave a comment. Actually, let’s just make it a caption contest. If you don’t have a serious explanation, think of something funny to add, like what they might be thinking, or what someone else might say.