The police recently busted Thomas Wayne for selling ‘secret formula’ tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.

When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he had been caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud.

He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983.

~this is an excerpt from the ’embellished memoirs of my life’ by Thomas Wayne

Y’know how when something is neat or interesting we may call it “cool”?  We may also call it awesome.  But what do you call something that is cooler than cool?  I suppose you could say uber-cool.  (“uber” is German for “super”, and it just sounds neat.)  But are there any words that are even better for this purpose?

Why am I wondering this, you may ask…  Well, this morning I was reminded of my own coolness, and I realized I feel cooler than cool.  I mean, I know what “cool” is, and I’m even cooler than that.  So, for the sake of journalistic integrity or some such, I decided I should try to find a more accurate representation of myself.

So, does anyone have any suggestions?

~ Thomas Wayne

These days there are a lot of people who speak bad English.  And with more and more people communicating via blogs and instant messaging and e-mail, our text structure is very important.  If your grammar and spelling are poor, it’s kinda like wearing dirty, wrinkled clothes.  And so there’s a great need for grammar help, and thus I’m proud to annouce I’m about to release my next book : 12 Steps To A More Better Vocabulary.

As soon as the editor finishes going through it, I’ll begin accepting orders…

~ Thomas Wayne

I was reminiscing today about my childhood & some of the games that I played as a child.  I was wondering what games were your favorite?  I remember this one game I played all through childhood, where my parents would take me to the park or circus or someplace for the day… they’d drop me off then they would leave… the game was for me to find my way home again, and when I eventually did my parents would ‘act’ all surprised & to’up, feigning shock…  it was  hilarious…  then we’d go somewhere else & play again the next day… my brothers & sisters were probably all jealous of me cause they never got to play…          ahh…          the memories…             ~Thomas Wayne