Tag: news

NASA found extraterrestrial life – what now?

NASA announced last week that extraterrestrial life has been found… in California.  If you’re expecting a big, scary alien, you’re going to be massively disappointed.  It’s just some microscopic bacteria living in mud by a lake.  Although, as one scientist on TV pointed out, they look like potatoes if you zoom in enough.

Although, if evolution were true, then that bacteria could develop a brain and a body, and it might eventually enslave us all.   So maybe we should wipe it out now, while we are more evolved than it.  We might not have millions of years — some things mutate faster than others.  I’ve seen “documentaries” that show how crazy such things can get.  And you know the scientists that have this bacteria will expose it to all kinds of chemicals in their testing, and what if that’s all part of the plan?  What if a certain element on Earth gives it superpowers like Superman?  Someone has to consider these things…

Actually, we might need to fear more than just the aliens themselves.  What if some power-starved human or wild animal decides to join forces?  They might eat or absorb this alien life force and mutate into some super-human being!  What if they get super powers because of it?  The time to act is now!  And so we need a government grant to research and contain this.   I figure a few billion dollars would be sufficient — you can’t be too careful!

I know, some of you may wonder if the Buffet o’ Blog staff is qualified for such a task.  The answer is MOST DEFINITELY!  We would have the best weaponry possible, and we would contain (and potentially destroy) this alien life form.  We would also develop numerous “worst case” scenarios, along with the best plan of offense and defense.  And to test such systems before they are needed, we would run thousands of advanced computer simulations of us defending off alien invasions.  We are obviously the right people for this job.  So if the government will just send the necessary funds our way, we can get started on this most important task.

Somebody has to save the world…

the most shocking beer in the world

I don’t care anything about beer, but I saw this in the news and thought it was really, really weird.  There’s a company called BrewDog that sells a beer called “The End of History”, and it’s supposedly the “strongest, most expensive and most shocking beer in the world.”  (How’s that for a marketing slogan?)

It’s definitely shocking — it costs $765 a bottle, it’s 55 percent alcohol, and it’s served in a squirrel.  (Yeah, you read that right.)   It’s not a fake squirrel, either — it’s actual roadkill.   You can also get it in weasel or hare bottles.  They decided to wrap the bottles in dead animals to indicate how special the beer is, that it’s blending brewing, taxidermy, and “art”.

Their marketing ploy has people talking (obviously).  I don’t know how much it will help sales… at $765 a bottle, that’s not an impulse buy nor a “let’s give this as a prank gift” purchase for most people.

As you would expect, using dead animals is controversial to some people.  A director for Advocates for Animals said it is “degrading” for the animals.  The brewing company said all the animals were roadkill collected at a taxidermist, so they were all dead anyway.

What do you think?

Jon Stewart on the economic collapse

There’s a video clip from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart that I’ve been meaning to link to.  The topics discussed aren’t “breaking news” anymore, but they’re still relevant — such as America’s financial troubles caused by Wall Street firms.   If you haven’t seen this episode before, it’s worth watching.  This clip is only 10 1/2 minutes long.  (I will warn you that there’s a little bit of crude language, although most is beeped out.)

The first part is about a bipartisan financial reform bill that was in the works for 2 years, led by Chris Dodd and Bob Corker.  Eventually, Dodd decided to put out his own bill, which contained regulation that should’ve been implemented the day after the financial crisis began.   If you’re short on time, you can skip to around 4:20 of the video to get to the better part.

Jon Stewart explains why Lehman Brothers imploded, according to a bankruptcy examiner’s report, and he shows how Lehman Brothers hid their worthless junk holdings — some $50 billion.  And Citicorp did the same thing, and Goldman Sachs fueled AIG’s gambles.   And supposedly no one at Lehman Brothers is going to jail for what they did, even though they intentionally deceived everyone watching them by hiding $50 billion of worthless securities (which in some circles is considered fraud).

The best part of the video begins at 6:20, where Jon Stewart discusses the Supreme Court case that says corporations have the same rights as individuals.   So what if individuals had the same rights as corporations?  Jon Stewart puts it in perspective in a way only he can, and it’s classic.  Here’s the link:

The Daily Show: In Dodd We Trust

I don’t always watch The Daily Show, but sometimes it reports more on the important and controversial news than the full-time news networks, and Stewart makes it funny.  Humor is important at a time like this.  It can be very disheartening to see our country’s economy (and our freedoms) being destroyed from the inside out by large corporations, Congress, and the Obama administration.  Receiving that distressing news with some injected humor makes it a little easier to swallow.  (What’s the old song say — “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”)

must keep eating

I just heard in the news that there’s a woman who must eat every 15 minutes to stay alive.  She eats up to 60 small meals a day, consuming between 5,000 and 8,000 calories per day, yet she cannot gain any weight.   She gets excited if she gains even one pound.  She wears size triple zero clothes.  The doctors say it’s a condition called NPS.

I wonder if I have some type of eating disorder, because I often feel the need to eat big, fattening meals, and I’m unable to lose weight.  🙂  If only there was some important doctor who could offer me some advice…