Tag: news

Are you ready for smart underwear?

Some researchers have invented smart underwear that monitors your flatulence. Side note: This conversation could go a couple of different ways, so let’s explore both! 🙂

On the serious side, this is actually helpful. Scientists can learn a lot about people’s gut health based on their flatulence, and up until now it was difficult to study. It has been attempted, but it involved “extremely invasive techniques”, and the less said about that the better! Now, with smart underwear, people can easily submit information about their microbiomes to scientists. It contributes to a research study called the Human Flatus Atlas. It tracks the amount of farts per day and the hydrogen content. Did you know your toots are made of mostly hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen? Methane is also in the mix, but less common.

The first group test with this new underwear included 19 healthy participants, and it found that the average number of farts per day was 32, ranging from 4 to a maximum of 59. While 59 is a rather large number of farts for one day, I had a college roommate who once passed gas over 100 times in a day. It was so excessive that he actually counted them. And I believe him, because I unfortunately had to witness some of that. I don’t know what he ate to enable that superpower.

Someone had told me about this smart underwear, so I searched for info on it, and one headline said, “Everyone does this. But how much is too much? Scientists want to know.” The article started out with: “Whether you call it breaking wind, sounding the trumpet, or cutting the cheese, everyone farts. But how much gas is too much? The short answer: no one knows – yet.” It’s safe to say that 100+ is too much for one day. Not only was something unusual going on with their health, but probably everyone around them!

Is this topic gross? To some, yes. But as another article said:

Whether you’re breaking wind, farting hard or just letting out a quick toot, flatulence is — whether you want to admit it or not — as much a daily necessity as breathing.

So while it is necessary, some people don’t like to talk about it. That’s fine. If you are one of those, you should probably not finish the rest of this post. You have been warned. 🙂

On the lighter side, this invention could be used for fun! For people who enjoy farting, there could be a competition setting. Someone could create a way for friends to have a leaderboard. The results could be uploaded to a shared site or sent via text. The smart underwear could track the number of times, the loudest volume, and the most stank. Obviously this isn’t for everyone, but I guarantee there are some people who would enjoy making it competitive.

The world didn’t end? INCONCEIVABLE!

So apparently the world was supposed to end yesterday. I had no idea. No one told me. How rude! If people actually believed that, wouldn’t they spend all their time and money making sure everyone knows? I mean, it’s kind of a big deal, and people need to be ready, and if they were right on the timing, there would be no need for money afterward.

I’m talking about “RaptureTok”. Supposedly there are “apocalyptic influencers” who insisted the end times would occur yesterday. I wonder if anyone is going to sue them for emotional distress. I’m not suggesting anyone do this, because we’re all liable for what we believe, but the immediate start of the biblical end times and eternal judgment could be a stressful time for some. It doesn’t have to be stressful — if you have accepted the gift of forgiveness and salvation that Jesus offers, which He paid for by dying in your place, then there’s nothing to worry about. You can be certain of your eternal fate, if you are living according to God’s terms (covenant). (Pro tip: It’s worth thinking about this, seeking the truth, because it will happen someday, and you want to be ready.)

This isn’t the first time the world has failed to end on schedule. These predictions happen every few years, and they’re always wrong. Of course, the Bible warns about this in Matthew 24: “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

a twist on presidential fitness

I usually don’t discuss politics much here, but this is a topic that will attempt to be funny and contain facts you probably don’t know. It may also include a political rant or two, so if you can’t stand political criticism, click here to go to a random post or here for a post with an idea for creating a holiday for enjoying life.

President Donald Trump is bringing back the “Presidential Fitness Test”, which sounds like a great idea until you realize (or remember) that this is for schoolchildren. I saw an article suggesting one condition for bringing back the fitness test that requires children to run a mile and do sit-ups and pull-ups. It’s an amusing read: Trump brings back dreaded Presidential Fitness Test. Let’s see him run a mile.

They suggest requiring Trump to take the test and make it a pay-per-view event, which will surely raise a lot of money to help pay down the national debt (which is being increased by Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”). This is a great idea. It’ll never happen, though. Donald Trump tells people how strong and fit he is, because he tries his best to always control the story, the narrative. His mantra on this:

Stick with us. Don’t believe the crap you see from these people, the fake news. … What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening. ~ Donald Trump, 7/25/18

Don’t believe what you see or what others say — just follow him. Hear the propaganda, drink the Kool-Aid… (Not that it ALL is, but there are definitely some lies being told repeatedly to manipulate people.) He tries to craft his own version of reality, and sadly, some of the conservative news networks go along with his fabrications and don’t report the truth.

Anyway, Donald Trump is 79 years old now, and he has never been into fitness. He plays golf — A LOT (24% of his days in office, and we’re paying for it) — but that’s not too athletic. He believes that exercise is misguided, that your life is like a battery and you have a finite amount of energy. Science doesn’t agree with that. Also, if he is against exercise and thinks it makes you die earlier, why is he mandating it for children? (We ask, you decide.)

Now let me share some historical facts about presidents you probably didn’t learn in school:

George Washington was an accomplished collar-and-elbow wrestler. (Some wrestling scholars claim that, during the Revolutionary War, a forty-seven-year-old Washington took down seven Massachusetts militiamen in a row.) Nixon, meanwhile, was a football scrub—“cannon fodder,” a teammate called him. … In his rail-splitting young-lawyer days, Lincoln is said to have gone 300–1 in free-for-all wrestling matches against tough guys across the Midwest. In 1992, he was inducted into the National Wrestling Hall of Fame; some credit him with inventing the choke slam.

John F. Kennedy published an article in Sports Illustrated with a public-fitness challenge of marching fifty miles in twenty hours. That would be averaging 2.5 MPH — a decent walking pace — for twenty hours. Figure in rest breaks, bathroom breaks, eating, and you’d have to be walking rather briskly to meet that. I doubt there are many civilians who could do that. Maybe some marathon runners could, but most adults don’t run at all these days, and many don’t walk more than they have to. Plus, I doubt most Americans could focus that long without getting distracted by their smartphone. (If that sounds crazy, try going just 3 hours without touching your phone — while awake, obviously. Let me know if anyone tries this and how it turns out.)

Teddy Roosevelt was one of the toughest presidents ever. His life is an interesting and inspirational story. He chose to live a strenuous life, because it makes you stronger. He was into boxing, tennis, hiking, rowing, polo, horseback riding, jujutsu, fighting in wars (and actually leading soldiers into battle), climbing mountains, exploring the Amazonian rainforest, etc.

There have been a number of really interesting and accomplished presidents of the United States. Where are the outstanding candidates now? How long has it been since we’ve had a great candidate that you were excited to vote for? Some of them over the last few elections will tell you how great they are and make big promises but not live up to the hype. Surely there are some great leaders out there who would make a great president…

Maybe the next great president is reading this now, thinking they could do better than the recent ones. Maybe it’s you! Is it? Would you make a great president? If so, how so? Would you rule with compassion? Would you defuse tense situations with humor? Would you have your own walk-up music or theme song? Would you dance? Would you build a weather dominator? Would you provide ice cream sandwiches to people in 100 degree heat? Would you tell all Americans about cheese dip? (They really ought to know, because it’s awesome.) Would you tell people that this random blog inspired you to become president? 🙂

fireworks show gone wrong — two levels of epic fails

July 4th is a day we celebrate America’s independence with grilled food and fireworks. Many people go to community events to watch organized fireworks shows, which is usually a good time. But it’s also fun to shoot your own fireworks. It’s also quite dangerous. It’s easy to take it for granted that no one will get injured, yet kids get to play with little bombs.

A basic safety rule of fireworks is to not have the fireworks-for-later pile near the fireworks-in-use pile. This should be obvious. But obviously it’s not. LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING! (Referencing Fire Marshall Bill here, from the TV show In Living Color. He didn’t make this video, but this is about how it would’ve turned out if he had been there.) Watch this:

That’s an epic fail at a front-yard level — way more epic than anyone should experience. But what if a whole warehouse of fireworks caught fire? It happened just a few days ago in California. This video is a LOT of fireworks going BOOM.