Tag: extravagant

launching a toilet into space

Speaking of the lottery, I was recently involved in a lunch conversation where some people were talking about being super-extravagant if they won the lottery.  At some point, the conversation somehow gravitated toward toilets.  (I have some friends that get really random!)  I don’t know how the topics merged together, but someone said they’d have toilets that get launched into space when they get stopped up, or maybe even just when they’re flushed.  I don’t think toilets were meant to be disposable.  Also, I’m not sure what they cost, but given how many times a flush is needed for a normal household per day, that might burn through the lottery winnings fairly quickly.

Besides, can you imagine Earth being surrounded by toilets in orbit?  There would be toilets (full of poop) crashing into satellites and burning up on re-entry in the atmosphere.  The more I think about it, the more reasons I come up with for why that’s a crappy idea.

But I do admit that seeing toilets launched from someone’s house repeatedly might be kinda cool… that is, as long as they achieve orbit and don’t come back down.  There’s many obvious flaws in the scenario of them returning to the ground.  As cool as it would be to see a toilet shatter*, it would cause some serious damage if it hit something.

* Mango-Man says he’s seen a toilet fall off a truck and shatter into a million pieces and that it was indeed cool.  Too bad he wasn’t prepared to capture video of it.  It’s not everyday you get to see toilets break.  (Actually, I know someone who says he breaks his toilet on a regular basis, but more in a figurative sense.)

I’ve probably said more about toilets in this post than you care to hear about, so I’ll stop now.  But for the few who want more, there is a popular post here about toilet facts, and there are other posts about toilets (such as the motorcycle that runs on poop and has a built-in toilet).  You can use the search function in the sidebar to find even more toilet-related nuggets.  Hmm, that might not be the best choice of words, but this conversation is already in the toilet, so what does it matter?  🙂

slide from bedroom to swimming pool

The other day I was talking with someone who also would like to have a pool for exercise (as well as general enjoyment).  It’s no-impact and thus low-stress on your joints, so it’s great for exercise, especially when recovering from injury.

We talked about how great it would be to have an indoor pool, where you could open it up to the outside in good weather.  Then I remembered this picture of an indoor pool with a slide from an upstairs bedroom.  I had heard Mike Tyson had something like this in his house, but I haven’t found any evidence of that.  This is a 3D rendering from house plans other than his.

We discussed how awesome such a setup would be, and someone joked that Tyson had the slide from his bedroom to the pool so he could escape quickly from tax collectors.  (And here’s where the randomness begins, so hold on for the ride.)  The pool could’ve had a secret tunnel to the outside.  A neat way to quickly escape would be to have a giant pump to drain the pool to an outside location.

If you’ve got a giant pool that can be flushed, and there’s a slide from your bedroom to the pool, and you’ve got many millions of dollars to waste, you could have the pool be a giant toilet.  Just picture it — you crawl out of bed, have to go urinate, so you go down the slide, pee in the pool, and hit the big flush button.  This would be wasting thousands of gallons of water just to flush the toilet, but this is all about being over-the-top extravagant and wasteful.

This story is already kinda random, but this discussion was happening late at night, so it kept going.  If you’re using the pool as a giant toilet, you might poop in there sometimes.  Picture an Olympic-sized swimming pool, water swirling, with the poop being the last part to go down.  It would take several minutes.  If someone was coming over to visit and would be using the pool, you might have to distract them while it flushed.  Otherwise they might think you had squirrels or beavers in the pool.  It would also take a while to refill a big pool, so you might need your own water tower on your property.  (It’s just money, right?)

The story continued, involving squirrels eating corn, but it’s probably not as funny reading it as it was at the time, so I’ll stop there.  Feel free to continue the rambling if you think of something.

Oh, and there was also a comment that there might be protesters outside the premises because of the immense wastefulness.  (Of course you’d have a big fence and gate, as rich people do.)  Someone said when it was time to wash the protesters off the sidewalk, you could use the water from the pool to flush the sidewalks clean.  🙂  (How’s that for recycling?)