I was just reading about how cool it would be to see a star go supernova — that is, explode. That would be incredibly awesome. But who has time to sit around and wait for that to happen? They can burn for millions or billions of years before exploding. And even if I had that much time, I’m not going to stare into the sky every night waiting for that to happen. (Although if I had that much time, I’d have more time for such things.)
So maybe we should coerce a star to explode. Then we could schedule it, announce it, and half the world could watch it live. We could sponsor it, saying, “This supernova is brought to you by Buffet o’ Blog.” This would be all over the news, and then we’d be super-famous — all for blowing up a star, which we’ve wanted to do anyway. So it’s a win-win for us!
R&D department, I know what we’re gonna do today… 🙂
Baking a turkey has long been part of most Americans’ Thanksgiving tradition. But let’s face it — it’s kinda boring to watch a turkey bake. Plus turkey is healthy and not very fattening, which doesn’t fit in with our modern culture. So now more and more people are deep-frying their turkey, which makes it more unhealthy (along with more flavorful), and there’s also the danger of deep-frying it improperly, which is exciting for some people.
I’ve heard so many reports of deep-fried turkey disasters in recent years that it seems like it’s becoming a sport. There are probably countless videos on YouTube of this, but here’s a few highlights I’ve come across.
In the following video, note the lack of protective gear, and also notice the child in the background covering his eyes. Somehow he knew something was going to go wrong. And somehow this accident even inspired a dance from the man responsible for it.
This next video features firefighters showing the right and wrong way to deep-fry a turkey. First, they do it correctly, with it fully thawed and dry. Next they drop a partially thawed turkey in the deep-fryer. Then they put a mostly frozen turkey in the deep-fryer. Lastly, they show you what happens if you pour water on an oil fire. (The last part is quite impressive, because it’s not near my house.)
This next one is great. This “chef” uses the Archimedes Principle to properly deep-fry a turkey. (That’s a great line. I had never heard it used like that, and there may be a reason why.) Then at the end, he says, calmly, “We are now frying a turkey.” Perhaps, but he’s also burning a turkey… and his deep-fryer… and the house…
In this next video, we start with the fire already burning. Several people are yelling, “Use a fire extinguisher!” At least one person has the knowledge to say it should be one made for oil fires. (There are different kinds of fire extinguishers, if you didn’t know.) You might be able to guess whether this was the right kind or not. I like how at the end one guy says, “It’s fine”, after it’s been on-fire over a minute and they’ve sprayed it down with a fire extinguisher (which might not be good for food).
Think you’ve seen everything there is to see regarding turkey frying accidents? In the next video, some morning show radio DJs simulate the dangers of deep-frying a turkey (improperly) inside your living room. Somewhere, Fire Marshall Bill is smiling…
BTW, this may look cool, but you shouldn’t try this at home.
You never know when you might be on the brink of a new scientific discovery. I mean, science happens all the time, even if you’re not looking for it. So you have to keep your mind open to new hypotheses and theories.
The other night I was reheating some Taco Soup. It features beef, corn, hominy, pinto beans, kidney beans, and various seasonings like taco seasoning, Ranch seasoning, and Rotel. (And it’s really scrumptious — much better than any normal soup. You add cheese, tortilla chips, and sour cream to it. Mmm…) Anyway, it has two types of beans in it, as I listed. I was reheating a bowl of it that was leftover, and I covered the bowl with wax paper. It was a good thing I covered it, because some of the beans exploded!
So where does science come into this? Well, I’m not a scientist, but I have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. So here’s what happened. Beans don’t normally explode at room temperature, but when they became hot and pressurized, they exploded. And then I realized that must be what happens when we eat them! Our bodies run at a temperature around 98.6 degrees, which is quite warm. And as our digestive system is breaking down the food, there’s a lot of pressure inside. So while your body processes the beans, they overheat and over-pressurize, which causes them to explode inside you. And that explosion has to find an outlet, or there will be much discomfort in your stomach. As you guessed, the outlet is your butt.
I never learned that in school, but it makes sense. Perhaps the teachers were trying to be politically correct and not talk about gas and farting. Some people get offended about such things, for some reason. But I have no reason to hold back here, so I present my unvarnished scientific hypothesis.
Now you know…
Maybe next time I’ll figure out why beans are good for your heart… 🙂
I was just reading about how cool it would be to see a star go supernova — that is, explode. That would be incredibly awesome. But who has time to sit around and wait for that to happen? They can burn for millions or billions of years before exploding. And even if I had that much time, I’m not going to stare into the sky every night waiting for that to happen. (Although if I had that much time, I’d have more time for such things.)
Buffet o' Blog 