Could Yanni be the Antichrist?

Could Yanni be the Antichrist?  I know, he seems all mellow and wussy, so he doesn’t seem like the type of person who would rule the world.  But remember that the Antichrist will deceive many.  Think about the clues… Yanni is very much “politically correct” with his music, making it very bland so it doesn’t offend anyone.  And his music is all about peace.  (Most of it will put me to sleep quickly.)  And doesn’t he think his music is spiritual?  And didn’t he come out with some “Live At The Apocalypse” CD?  Maybe that was prophetic…  Just something to think about…

too many e-mails

This past weekend I got no less than 12 e-mails from “System Administrator” saying, “Your mailbox is over its size limit”.  Fortunately the system at work gives us about 10MB over quota before it starts blocking messages.  But it would be nice if the system knew that it was a weekend and I probably wouldn’t be checking my e-mail.  It shouldn’t be too hard to add a check like that in…

It’s just ironic that the system is contributing to the problem during the weekend…

Maybe I should set up a rule in Outlook to forward those messages on the weekend, sending them back to “System Administrator”, until his mailbox gets full.  Maybe then whoever setup this system will understand the ridiculousness of what it’s doing.

Optimus Prime doing roundhouse kicks

I was just talking with someone about the upcoming Transformers movie, and we were thinking there should be a Transformer with ninja skills.  He could be all-black, with special stealth skills, and have fast fighting moves.  He could throw explosive ninja stars.  G.I. Joe had ninjas — Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow — and that was cool, so I think it would work for the Transformers.

Also, it would be neat if they enabled Optimus Prime to be able to do roundhouse kicks (a la Chuck Norris).  To fit that into the story, the Autobots and Decepticons are both searching for a Chuck Norris upgrade package, which gives you crazy-cool fighting skills, then Optimus Prime ends up with it.  I know this deviates from the canon of Transformers lore (the comics), but I think most fans would buy into it.  (Besides, Michael Bay is already changing up the story so much, so they might as well make them even better.)  Somebody should make this happen.

Somebody has thought of combining them before, as evidenced by this quote (sorry I don’t know who said it) :

The original theme song to The Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris — more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris — robot in disguise”, and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up.  This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

For a show it might be too much, yeah, but what about for a movie?  Think about it…

controlling the weather

I was just talking with some of the Buffet o’ Blog staff today about how great it would be if we could invent a weather controlling device.  That is, not just a device to help us forecast weather, but to prophesy what will happen.  We would easily make billions of dollars, by delivering rain to farmers’ crops and drought-prone regions when they need it.  We could prevent rain at weddings, so everyone who wants an outdoor wedding can have one.  We could keep it from raining or snowing at important sporting events.  We could make the summer temperatures bearable at major theme parks like Disney World or Six Flags Over Texas.  The list could go on and on.

Since we would do so much good with this device, helping solve many world problems, we should get a government grant to pay for our research.  These types of devices are very complicated.  I would explain it to you, but there’s a lot of math involved.

Not only would this device be quite profitable for us, it would also be quite fun.  Imagine creating a small rain cloud that follows someone around, like in the cartoons…  That would be great!  And picture a huge, puffy, white cumulus cloud falling on someone.  The shadow would get bigger and bigger, and they’d run around but be unable to get out from under the shadow, and then they’d be enveloped in fluffy white cloudage.

Another useful technique we’d implement with this technology would be to keep politicians and TV news reporters in check.  We had dreamed about being able to make a hand slap someone on TV when they say something stupid, but this would be even better.  Every time a politician lies to us, and every time a TV anchorman spins the story to suit his bias while ignoring the facts, they would get zapped in the butt by a small bolt of lightning.  People would be afraid to lie or say stupid things.  This would be great for the upcoming presidential election!  (We might find out where the candidates actually stand on the issues!)

So see, we have lots of great uses planned for this technology.  However, our current jobs prohibit us from putting in the required amount of research and development, so we really need that government grant for a few million dollars, so we can devote ourselves to this project full-time.  We just want to make the world a better place…

lightning from 8-14-06

[Ed. note: This picture of lightning is one I took from my backyard in August 2006.  Click for a larger image.]