Love stinks!

If you’ve been married for many years, you might start running out of ideas for something special to do for your wife on Valentine’s Day.  Well, some people are really good at thinking outside the box.  A farmer in Minnesota who has been married for 37 years made a heart out of manure for his wife.  But it’s not just any heart — it’s a half-mile wide!

According to the news release about it, nothing says “I love you” like a half-mile wide heart made out of manure.

On public record, his wife said it was cute.  We don’t know what was said behind closed doors when reporters weren’t around.

I’m not sure what my wife would say about a half-mile wide heart made out of manure, but “cute” probably would not be her expression of choice…  Actually, she came in while I was posting this, and her official response was “I don’t want one”.

Are dinosaurs extinct because of their farting?

In the news recently, British scientists (“boffins”) have announced that dinosaurs’ reckless farting might have led to their extinction.  Read for yourself:

Dinosaurs may have farted themselves to extinction, according to a new study from British scientists.

The researchers calculated that the prehistoric beasts pumped out more than 520 million tons (472 million tonnes) of methane a year — enough to warm the planet and hasten their own eventual demise.

Until now, an asteroid strike and volcanic activity around 65 million years ago had seemed the most likely cause of their extinction. …

“Our calculations suggest these dinosaurs may have produced more methane than all the modern sources, natural and human, put together.”

“Not the momma!”

Yeah, I called it reckless farting.  (Have you ever heard those two words together before?)  It’s bad enough to just fart whenever you want, but when the air becomes unsuitable for life, it’s time to change policy.  I realize they’re just animals, but you’d think they could’ve figured it out.  Even animals can learn by conditioning (like Pavlov’s dogs).  Here, you’d think after millions of years, they’d figure out a disturbing pattern.  Por ejemplo: [fart]  “Whew, that stinks.”  [fart again]  “That’s some stank-terribleness.”  [fart again]  “I can hardly breathe…”  [fart again]  “I’m about to die!”  The pattern is obvious.

Doesn’t it seem odd that there are people who get paid to calculate how much dinosaurs passed gas?  Imagine meeting new people and they ask you what you do — “I study dinosaur farts.”  You’d get some weird reactions, I’m sure.  But you’d be a hit at the elementary school on bring-your-parent-to-school day.  🙂

a urine-controlled game for public restrooms

Sega has developed a urine-controlled game for public restrooms.  It’s called Toirettsu.  The goal is to control the aim and speed of your pee to succeed in mini-games.

That’s thinking outside the box!  I suppose it could make going to the bathroom a little more interesting, but I’m still skeptical.  Plus, there’s the additional cost that would conveniently be passed on to the customer — hopefully not in a charge for using the restroom, but it would probably be recouped in other ways.  I’d rather not pay more for my food or other products for a service I may not even use.

And what’s next — a game based on how much you poop or how much it stinks?  Even if you got the high score, would you want to brag about it?

Gaming is great and it’s good for companies to be creative, but not all ideas are worth pursuing…  And in this case, it would probably be best for the creators to laugh about it, maybe write about it on some obscure blog*, and let that be it…

* That reference is especially for Fab, and no, it does not refer to Buffet o’ Blog.

Help, my bathroom smells like crap!

If your bathroom stinks, a common practice is to light a candle.  But sometimes a single candle just doesn’t cut through the effervescence of flatulescence.  You could try lighting an array of candles, although you might not want to go through that trouble, or you might not have multiple candles available.  So here’s what you can do — just burn the whole candle at once.  That way, all the freshness gets released at once.

(Tip: It works better if the candle is not in a glass container.  Photo is for illustration purposes only.)